Rules of the game...

[thinker]

Ok. So we all know the little "game" we all play (especially you, ladies...) You know, the no contact for a while, then ooh, contact! Then, wait, no contact, I guess she's gone... then ooh contact! Round and round like a spinning wheel it goes... hard to get, coy, luring, whatever you want to call it. It's the whole get your hopes up in a rush, then slowly let them die over time, then rush up again, etc.

My question is; why? What exactly is behind this? I'm kindof dealing with this right now; few months of veeeery interspersed contact; usually like 2 -3 weeks in between, and like it's no big deal; like it's planned that way to keep me guessing... Well, it has, as of recently, gotten much more constant; maybe 5 days this past week... and I am thinking of playing a little of this game myself; waiting a few days, you know, just letting things fester and spin around a bit.

Do we do this becuase we want the other person to want us more? Can it honestly just be indifference (which doesnt make sense, since it would have (and easily could have) stopped a long time ago...) or what? This is in the womens forum becuase you guys are the kings (ok, queens) of the mind games, but men are welcome to throw in their 2 cents as well... What does it mean, and what does the person behind it really want?

[Junket]

Never had to really deal with that behavior yet.

You're most likely not to get a straight answer anyway.

[King Zarathu]

thinker:

This is the "Ask a Female" forum--and you're asking for a direct, straight answer as to why something is the way it is?

Might want to check your logic.

[vashti]

I think you must be doing something to attract game-playing girls. There are plenty of girls who don't do this, and the number who avoid game playing increases with age and maturity.

[thinker]

thinker:

This is the "Ask a Female" forum--and you're asking for a direct, straight answer as to why something is the way it is?

Might want to check your logic.

Good point... I should have promised chocolate first

[King Zarathu]

Good point... I should have promised chocolate first

HAHA

That, and a rather large box of drama.

[Venacava]

I've never played these games, infact it's been the guys who have played these games. I hate them and it does NOT make me want them more, it infuriates me and I usually end up walking away because I can't be bothered anymore. It's immature. In my opinion, she's either slightly immature and WANTS to play games to see if you will chase her, feel wanted and acknowledged etc or maybe she just doesn't know what she wants.
Either way, **** the games. If you like her then just ask her what she wants and what's up with this on and off thing, games are time - and wasting time is ridiculous when there could be someone else out there for you. Just be straight up and ask, unless you're into the games aswell.

[King Zarathu]

I've never played these games, infact it's been the guys who have played these games. I hate them and it does NOT make me want them more, it infuriates me and I usually end up walking away because I can't be bothered anymore. It's immature. In my opinion, she's either slightly immature and WANTS to play games to see if you will chase her, feel wanted and acknowledged etc or maybe she just doesn't know what she wants.
Either way, **** the games. If you like her then just ask her what she wants and what's up with this on and off thing, games are time - and wasting time is ridiculous when there could be someone else out there for you. Just be straight up and ask, unless you're into the games aswell.

So, um... where do you live again?

[Gigabitch]

I think some girls play games because they don't know any better. Their mothers have told them not to be a little trollop and call boys. Their friends have told them to "make him work for it". Boys have disrespected them for appearing too easy.

All that goes away when they get into a real relationship where they learn about trust and truth.

Sorry, Thinker. You're only 20. It might be a while until they catch up.

[Venacava]

So, um... where do you live again?

New Zealand, yepp.

[misombra]

maybe she just doesn't like you.

[thinker]

I think some girls play games because they don't know any better. Their mothers have told them not to be a little trollop and call boys. Their friends have told them to "make him work for it". Boys have disrespected them for appearing too easy.

All that goes away when they get into a real relationship where they learn about trust and truth.

Sorry, Thinker. You're only 20. It might be a while until they catch up.

Well said...

Yeah, it's just that brainwashing ever since they're little girls; I don't know if their grandmothers all tell them "Now, never be straightforward, and make them chase you, drives em crazy!" or what, but it seems to be a deeply rooted social conspiracy...

It's just frustrating, becuase by nature many times it gives mixed signals; if a girl talks to you, but then completely avoids you for 10 days or so, then comes back again etc. a man's mind cannot figure out what is going on And we spend days upon days arguing both sides, and they are equally matched... it's just very frustrating, and I was wondering if any of you ladies know why you do this, or if it's just becuase or just for fun.

And how long should I plan to chill and wait, til 24 or something? I actually am planning on not getting into any serious relationships until a few years from now, during or after grad school... is it stupid of me to wait for something that probably isn't waiting for me? Grrrr... why couldn't I be gay... men are so simple... but alas, they are gross and hairy and, well, men... so I guess I will take women and their confusion

[Converse]

Games suck, be straight forward.

[King Zarathu]

Games suck, be straight forward.

Heh.. I know where you live, but your avatar scares me.

[Converse]

Heh.. I know where you live, but your avatar scares me.

You scare me.