Inviting someone back to your lair is a set-up for a stay over, so your date is bound to wonder whether this is an invitation -- or an expectation -- for sex. A decline may be colored with a fear of such an expectation, so if you don't intend sex, be sure to be clear about that.

If you've both decided you're ready for a stay-over, be prepared. If it's your place, take these actions:

  • Tidy up.
  • Stock up on refreshments (drinks, snacks, perhaps breakfast).
    have condoms or other birth control and safe-sex precautions handy.
  • Keep love aids handy (lubricants, toys).
  • Buy a guest toothbrush.

To be prepared for a stay-over at your date's place, you'll want to take a few things along. A few of the things listed here can fit in your pocket or evening bad, but you might need a larger briefcase or carry-all bag.

  • Toothbrush
  • Money, credit cards, driver's license
  • Contacts case, glasses, or other eyewear
  • Any pills you take
  • Key telephone numbers
  • Appointment book or pocket computer
  • Change of clothes (so you don't have to go into the subway or show up at work in an obvious evening dress or suit from the day before, letting everybody know you've been out all night)
  • Anything you'll need for the next day (for errands in his neighborhood or books for class) so you don't have to go home first

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