Nice Guys vs. Jerks

[Henry123]

So I am wondering should nice guys learn to be jerks? I'm beginning to believe from what some friends & others have told me that nice guys finish last. It seems nice guys end up being victoms of "relationships". I'm beginning to feel being a nice guy is the Kiss of Death when it comes to meeting women and actually having an relationship with them.

[thinker]

Eh... dont change who you are...

I know exactly what you mean though... seems like it's not worth it sometimes, but once you get older, women (some, rare occasions) will actually respect you for not being an ass...

The saying isn't always true, though... if a girl is shallow enough to fall into that "fantasy trap" then let her go off with whatever loser she finds on the street. Hang in there for the one who will want you for being a decent person.

[Tiay]

they only 'finish last' because you have to wait longer for a girl who'll really appreciate you for who you are. Also, there's a fine line between a confident decent guy, and a guy who's so "nice" he lets girls walk all over him.

[Gigabitch]

What jerk qualities were you hoping to learn, Henry?

If you want to be a jerk, I suggest starting by doing a lot of drugs. Cut in front of old ladies in the grocery line. Kick dogs.

Is that who you want to be?

Oh, God, I am so turned on!

[GrkScorp]

So I am wondering should nice guys learn to be jerks? I'm beginning to believe from what some friends & others have told me that nice guys finish last. It seems nice guys end up being victoms of "relationships". I'm beginning to feel being a nice guy is the Kiss of Death when it comes to meeting women and actually having an relationship with them.

Hmm.. i'm just curious.. are you reading that book from this Michael (something) guy who was on the Oprah show.. and helped men find like great looking women to date.. by developing a technique that shut Jerks off.. by being a Cute-Jerk themselves..???

What you wrote is almost a direct quote from one of his books..

[derm]

So I am wondering should nice guys learn to be jerks? I'm beginning to believe from what some friends & others have told me that nice guys finish last. It seems nice guys end up being victoms of "relationships". I'm beginning to feel being a nice guy is the Kiss of Death when it comes to meeting women and actually having an relationship with them.

It's not necessarily bad to finish last........in a slow bycycle race the one who finishes last...wins!!

[thinker]

What jerk qualities were you hoping to learn, Henry?

If you want to be a jerk, I suggest starting by doing a lot of drugs. Cut in front of old ladies in the grocery line. Kick dogs.

Is that who you want to be?

Oh, God, I am so turned on!

Oh yeah?

Well, giggles, earlier today I went in the elevator and pushed all the buttons then took the stairs!

Then later, I totally let the door slam on some old guy carrying a big box...

Need a ciggy?

[GrkScorp]

Hmm.. ok.. i can see now that you're asking a real question..

well the sum of his technique is a cocky-funny approach.. how to get women's attention and interest the way Jerks do, but also not "be a Jerk".. so you can actually hold onto that attention..

Girls all over the world, LF not being an exception to this rule will swear up and down that they do not like Jerk, and they miss Nice guys.. that's a load of crap.. and you and every other nice you knows what i'm talking about.. They miss them.. because they keep on brushing them off for Jerks...

So.. let's say you want to get with a cute waitress at a bar.. She comes over and asks you how everything is.. You say "Fine, thanks"... You then look at her go over to a Jerk's table and ask the same thing.. only now.. the Jerk says something like... "I've been told i'm pretty good, how 'bout you?"...

Now.. notice what has happened.. she has ignored you.. but she has just noticed the Jerk.. if the Jerk looks half decent.. she will rememeber his words and comments all the way home.. and remember him next time she sees him..

Now.. Let's change that, and develop the "Cocky-Funny" approach.. How does this work??? Well.. You are being Cocky.. because you will say things that Jerks will normally say.. but you INTENTION.. is to be funny, and that will clearly show in the example i'm about to give you.. You will be funny in addition to your intent, simply because YOU are not a Jerk, and the cloths you wear, the way you act, and the way you look all SCREAM NICE GUY!!!

So.. let's put this into action shall we???

Most adorable thing you've ever seen, cute waitress, comes up to you and asks you "How are you? ".. You, smoothly say.. "I've been told i'm pretty good thanky you, but i'm really hungry/thirsty, what do you have?" You can choose to smile or put on a sweet face.. it's up to you.. the magic has already worked..

Why??!?!?!?

Well.. notice, when she came over to you, YOU were just some nice guy.. something she did not accossiate before with something or someone she was attracted to.. but NOW, what have you done???

1) You have let her know there there is something deeper and more interesting about you than meets the eye, something sexy, bad, mysterious.. and naturally.. like all women, they will not stop until they OPEN PANDORA'S BOX...

2) You did not say anything vulgar, it was cocky, but it was funny.. and you showed that it was your only intent by quickly moving along to something you'd like to order, completely setting her off guard and off balance..

3) THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!!! SHE HAS NOTICED YOU.. now.. no matter how many JERKS she meets that day, nobody will make a lasting impression on her the way you did, because you are boyfriend material.. and, you are someone she'd like to explore more deeply... AND.. you have sparked her interest in you.. and she will keep thinking about you on her way home.. until the next time she sees you..

[GrkScorp]

I remember watching the Oprah show once, with this guy on it.. this was when Dr. Phil was the new kid on the block.. The psychologists they had on that show.. said that this technique not only worked on the women these men were interested in.. but also worked on the men themselves.. that was the Genius of Michael's Cocky-Funny approach..

The men started to improve their sence of humor, looked for openings in the conversation to throw in a line or two.. Started to improve their confidence in themselves, started to go out with more and more women they liked.. and soon.. they were teaching other men the same thing..

I watched the show and honestly started to tear when I saw how happy some of these men where.. they said something like..

"All throughout highschool, I was always some distant friend to all the girls I liked, I used to do everything for them, go out of my way, go broke, waste all my time, yet the same thing would end up happening, they would always go after the guys who would be the least respectful, rudest, most thuggish... I started to give up, and just focus on doing well in college, but then again, I met so many women that I liked, but before I could think of a way to ask them out, they were already dating some losers that has under a 2.0 GPA and had nothing going for them except their torn up car and the girl of my dreams.. But honestly, in Junior year, I saw Michael's book in a book store, and I was desperate, I thought hey.. i've wasted so much money on girls already, it's going to go wasted anyway.. why not get this book..?? And funny enough, I was wrong.. The more I read, the more I understood what I was doing wrong, and how women would think.. I read the whole book in a week, I finished his entire collection in 2 months!! Soon, I would meet beautiful women, and get their numbers, GET THEM TO CALL ME BACK, get them to beg me for dates, call me over their house, on trips, to clubs and cafe's.. And I met the woman of my dreams, over and over and over again.. Until I truly found the right person... and that's when it was game over... And it was all thanx to Michael... And the one thing that my wife usually tells me is that she's afraid i'll go hitting on other women all the time.. but it's just the opposite, I share what i've learned with every guy who's gone through the same.. every guy who has a similar story, and by doing so, I help Nice guys find Nice women, and Nice women find Nice guys..."

[TAVS]

Depends on your age and what you're looking for. Immature females are often drawn to jerks. Hell even some older ones. But when you get of age when people are interested in settling down; being a jerk doesn't typically pay off.

[derm]

Hmm.. ok.. i can see now that you're asking a real question..

well the sum of his technique is a cocky-funny approach.. how to get women's attention and interest the way Jerks do, but also not "be a Jerk".. so you can actually hold onto that attention..

Girls all over the world, LF not being an exception to this rule will swear up and down that they do not like Jerk, and they miss Nice guys.. that's a load of crap.. and you and every other nice you knows what i'm talking about.. They miss them.. because they keep on brushing them off for Jerks...

So.. let's say you want to get with a cute waitress at a bar.. She comes over and asks you how everything is.. You say "Fine, thanks"... You then look at her go over to a Jerk's table and ask the same thing.. only now.. the Jerk says something like... "I've been told i'm pretty good, how 'bout you?"...

Now.. notice what has happened.. she has ignored you.. but she has just noticed the Jerk.. if the Jerk looks half decent.. she will rememeber his words and comments all the way home.. and remember him next time she sees him..

Now.. Let's change that, and develop the "Cocky-Funny" approach.. How does this work??? Well.. You are being Cocky.. because you will say things that Jerks will normally say.. but you INTENTION.. is to be funny, and that will clearly show in the example i'm about to give you.. You will be funny in addition to your intent, simply because YOU are not a Jerk, and the cloths you wear, the way you act, and the way you look all SCREAM NICE GUY!!!

So.. let's put this into action shall we???

Most adorable thing you've ever seen, cute waitress, comes up to you and asks you "How are you? ".. You, smoothly say.. "I've been told i'm pretty good thanky you, but i'm really hungry/thirsty, what do you have?" You can choose to smile or put on a sweet face.. it's up to you.. the magic has already worked..

Why??!?!?!?

Well.. notice, when she came over to you, YOU were just some nice guy.. something she did not accossiate before with something or someone she was attracted to.. but NOW, what have you done???

1) You have let her know there there is something deeper and more interesting about you than meets the eye, something sexy, bad, mysterious.. and naturally.. like all women, they will not stop until they OPEN PANDORA'S BOX...

2) You did not say anything vulgar, it was cocky, but it was funny.. and you showed that it was your only intent by quickly moving along to something you'd like to order, completely setting her off guard and off balance..

3) THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!!! SHE HAS NOTICED YOU.. now.. no matter how many JERKS she meets that day, nobody will make a lasting impression on her the way you did, because you are boyfriend material.. and, you are someone she'd like to explore more deeply... AND.. you have sparked her interest in you.. and she will keep thinking about you on her way home.. until the next time she sees you..

Here we go.

Firstly don't ever try to be someone your not, people will see through it.

Now these guys you describe are NOT jerks. Most are nice guys like you and me who have a technique perfected through hard work and trial and error. They may have started out as you, making many mistakes but with time and experience have learned what works and what doesn't.

Anyhow I havn't all night to go into as much detail as I'd like here so I'll make it simple.

In your first example the second guy (so called jerk) happened to have a funnier line, that even I thought was funny! But on top of that the guy had the belief that he could pull her & had charm and confidence. Chicks dig humour and confidence.

If you have the qualities mentioned above you can have any gurl you believe you can.

Henry Ford once said: if you believe you can or you can't you're right!...think about it!


Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and go work on your confidence and conversation skills!

[GrkScorp]

lol.. yup i agree.. but the point is.. to be able to live life while you're young, and not wait until you're over 30, when your sexual peak as a guy is over, so you can settle down and find the right person.. i mean.. who are we kidding here???

i'm sure that's not what the guy is looking for... he doesn't go home sad everyday thinking..

DAMN!!! AGAIN MY FUTURE WIFE HAS CHOSEN TO BREED WITH A JERK INSTEAD OF ME!!!

you want to go out of dates, have fun (use that term loosely), go to clubs, cafe's, places, trips, whatever.. and you want to meet those young adorable little things you've set your eyes on during class.. explains the F+...

being a nice guy will pay off in the long run.. that's great!!! you can rest knowing that you WILL get married one day... but.. ummm....

WHAT ABOUT NOW!!!!!!??!?!?!??!?!?!???

see what I mean.. you need to do something about the present.. since your future is looking good.. lol..

[GrkScorp]

Here we go.

Firstly don't ever try to be someone your not, people will see through it.

Now these guys you describe are NOT jerks. Most are nice guys like you and me who have a technique perfected through hard work and trial and error. They may have started out as you, making many mistakes but with time and experience have learned what works and what doesn't.

Anyhow I havn't all night to go into as much detail as I'd like here so I'll make it simple.

In your first example the second guy (so called jerk) happened to have a funnier line, that even I thought was funny! But on top of that the guy had the belief that he could pull her & had charm and confidence. Chicks dig humour and confidence.

If you have the qualities mentioned above you can have any gurl you believe you can.

Henry Ford once said: if you believe you can or you can't you're right!...think about it!


Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and go work on your confidence and conversation skills!

Umm.. that's what the Technique does for you.. it gives you a proven working and successful meathod to work with.. and perfect quite quickly... on the contrary.. these guys WHERE BEING THEMSELVES.. that's what they loved about the Cocky-Funny approach..

they weren't acting like Jerks.. they were just being funny, and perfecting the technique the way it fit them best...

The only think his book did, was give them something to start off with.. and from there on.. all the work.. was done by the reader..

Guys who read it.. and used it.. loved it.. because they got to date the women they always wanted to.. and not have to change at all.. they brought out their more attractive side... and got women to notice them and be interested in them.. for who they really were...

see.. women are interested in jerks temporarily.. which means.. it's just enough to spark the flame.. but not enough to keep the fire going...

with nice guys.. they can keep that fire burning on forever.. but just can't spark that flame to get things started... that's what the Cocky-Funny technique does.. it helps spark that flame.. and then.. the guy is on his own.. because now the girl is interesting in him.. and she has a lifetime of getting to know him until she is even halfway done satisfying her curiosity..

You have legitimate concerns, but invalid reasons to mislead and misinform this guy about the way Michael has changed the lives of millions of men throughout the US..

[misombra]

man do you guys rack your brains trying to figure us out. lol. i guess we really are evil.

[GrkScorp]

nah.. i'm chilling.. lol... i've already figured "u guys" out..