Nice Guys vs. Jerks

[Mathias]

I don't think nice guys are self doubting. I am about to go out with a guy who is possibly the nicest person I have ever met and believe me, he is more than confident. You don't have to be confident to be a jerk either.

Exactly, and I think that's where most guys trip up.

I once fell into the "nice guy" trap of telling myself that girls only liked the mean guys, and they never would go after a nice guy like me.

It's simple, once I realized they weren't turned off by my niceness, just the insecurity. Once you get the confidence, it's easy. Obviously, the confidence is the hardest part--but separating the two is the first step.

[jurupa]

being a jerk is the biggest display of insecurity and self-hate there is.

This may be the view on the girl side, but on the guy side it seems to get the girls pretty much all the time. But then again these guys are at the bars and parties where the girls there fall for such guys. But I seen it work even out side of those places even.

[NeoSeminole]

jurupa says:

"This may be the view on the girl side, but on the guy side it seems to get the girls pretty much all the time. But then again these guys are at the bars and parties where the girls there fall for such guys. But I seen it work even out side of those places even."

It sure as hell seems that way, doesn't it? I've noticed girls tend to fall for guys who tease them, don't pay them much attention, and don't go out of their way for them while the guys who act like gentleman are doomed to being "just friends."

The reverse isn't true for guys. We don't fall for bitchy girls. If we do, it's only b/c we were initially attracted to their looks. Guys will usually move on after they find out the girl is bitchy. I personally don't know any guys who like being teased or being ignored by girls.

[vashti]

Why is this stupid thread still going?

[Junket]

Why is this stupid thread still going?

Because you're still replying to it.

[TDurden]

The reverse isn't true for guys. We don't fall for bitchy girls. If we do, it's only b/c we were initially attracted to their looks. Guys will usually move on after they find out the girl is bitchy. I personally don't know any guys who like being teased or being ignored by girls.

yeah, for real.

[Venacava]

I just don't think that nice people in general are self doubting ; some of them may very well be, but you can't make that sort of generalisation. Just like you can't say all jerks are confident ; in my opinion a lot of assholes are VERY self doubting and they are jerks because it makes them feel better about themselves, however that doesn't go for everyone, a lot of jerks are too confident.

[Mathias]

I just don't think that nice people in general are self doubting ; some of them may very well be, but you can't make that sort of generalisation.

I didn't mean to make THAT generalization.

The broad, sweeping generalization *I* was making was that guys who COMPLAIN that girls don't like nice guys are the ones just lacking confidence.

Rip me on THAT. Not what you think I said.

[Venacava]

I didn't mean to make THAT generalization.

The broad, sweeping generalization *I* was making was that guys who COMPLAIN that girls don't like nice guys are the ones just lacking confidence.

Rip me on THAT. Not what you think I said.

Um. When I made that post ; did I ever once address you? Did I quote a previous post of yours that would lead you to ASSUME that I was talking to you? No, I didn't.

Ripped.

[Junket]

Um. When I made that post ; did I ever once address you? Did I quote a previous post of yours that would lead you to ASSUME that I was talking to you? No, I didn't.

Ripped.

When I move to New Zealand, I'm gonna marry you.

[Gigabitch]

When I move to New Zealand, I'm gonna marry you.

She will make you one happy bitch.

[Junket]

She will make you one happy bitch.

Nevermind, I don't like bein' anybody's bitch.

Then I shall seek out her undying love so that I may reject her and thus feel better about myself.

[Venacava]

Haha, well that's an interesting plan.