The eyes are the window to the soul. When you look at someone, you are saying that you are willing to see and connect with them, and you are willing to be seen yourself. You have only to watch new lovers in a restaurant gazing across the table into each other's eyes to know how powerful eye contact can be.

But how much eye contact is too much/too little/the right amount? Research shows that a constant stare makes people uncomfortable. However, a short gaze may mean that the person is shy, insecure, or insincere. The most effective eye contact is where you glance, linger, look away, then reconnect -- holding each other's gaze for at least 60 percent of the total time you are together.

Once you've made eye contact, longer looks usually work.



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