help with girl/friend

[intrepido]

Hi- I kinda need some advice or at least opinions on what is going on with this girl....(Ill write it in a puncuated fashion to include all the details)

Got summer job at law firm between jr and sr year of college. Met girl first day, we locked eyes and she blushed and whatnot, I stared. Found out shes funny, and we both play sports at school. Lots of things in common it seemed, and a real understanding of one another (but this might just be in my head, even though I dont think it is) Anyway, found out later that shes only goin into her freshman year of college and I have principles and values and think I may b too old for her. She is giving me sexy eyes and flirting with me all week. She seems real innocent and whines about bad guys, relationships, comes off like a little bit of a princess, which I dont usually like but I kind of think she should be treated like a princess. Summer goes by, we become friends, I want to hang out with her towards the end and maybe see if anything happens. We couldnt get it together, she thought I had forgotten her # cuz I told her I would just remember it(we were in the parkin lot and had no pen/paper) so she made other plans with friends, but then called me later that nite when those plans fell through as well haha. Anyway, taht nite I wasnt around my phone, went to friends house and was thinkin about her. Came home and was playin guitar and wrote a song about her and recorded it to give her. Ive never done anything like that before. I gave it to her and she gave me these big bear hugs. She went back to school a day later. Its weird because I like her and would really just like her to be happy but I also am attracted to her and we both seem to have a real good time when together.

Winter comes and I find out that she lost her virginity to this asshole guy in the office that she always complained about and was also dating some other guy in the office during that summer. That kinda made me rethink how innocent she was, but maybe not, Im kinda confused here. I get my fair share of women, Im an attractive strong athletic guy, 6'5, green eyes, going to medical school, can draw and play music etc. Not to brag but when Ive liked a girl theyve usually liked me back, I think she does but I cant figure it out. She surprised me from behind gettin off the elevator in the building we work in over the wintertime and as we leaned in to hug it really seemed like she wanted me to kiss her. (since I didnt could taht have messed things up do u think?) She wanted to talk over the winter and I think it was about the song, she called me once and she said it was really sweet. Shes a real sweet girl in general to most people but she definitely behaves differently with me. We didnt get together over winter, I gave her her space as she was always talkin about her friends and how she misses home, I really care about her...She was at a party for my cousins graduation the next summer but I was busy most of the party. I hear she really wanted to talk to me about what I was going to do now after college and when she left she threw her arms around me and gave a big hug. I called her a few weeks later to see if she wanted to get together and go to a carnival but she was busy. We were workin at the same firm together again. One day we were talkin about both goin into the city that nite. She calls me that nite but I was actually with another girl at my friends apartment, I heard my phone ringing but didnt answer it and didnt see it was her til 4 am. So she was tellin me that she was real upset I didnt answer and told me that she had a dream about it. So Im just goin nuts now not knowing what the hell is goin on, summer goes by again and we part ways. We had exchanged instant messenger screenames and one day we talked online. She is always jokin with me and callin me names, I said that Ill miss the office we work at when I go to school and that Id like to do something nice for them, and she calls me a big girl, so I say that I actually think its manly to do things for people like that, shows that ur more of a man and u dont have to act tough all the time (which I believe btw) She then says that Im right and that there arent many men out there like me and that I remind her of her daddy. She also told me that I have a cute butt and other things, seeming to talk more candidly online than in person. This seems to be a big hint another one was at a party she held. Her friend flirted with me when I walked in and then went over to her and they were talkin and lookin over at me giggling, then later she called her friend a slut and said that shed hook up with any guy. Her other friend said that Im dreamy, Id have to expect her to have shared the fact that I wrote her a song even if she didnt like it or me. Her friend also said that shes seen allthe pictures of me from work, when theres only one picture and its real hard to see me in it.

So, I feel that I should not really talk with her until she comes back again this winter and then I dont know what I should do really....it seems like shes waiting for me to make a move, like just flat out kiss her, maybe even in public who knows, or maybe she doesnt like me, or does but just as friends. The guy advice Ive heard and read is that I should just ignore her more or less, pay her no attention and then shell become interested, but I was never one to do any of that bullshit even tho it may work and I aint tryin to start using that slimey routine with an incredible girl like this...I thnk maybe I scared her with the song? even tho I dont think it was all that big a deal, maybe I should explain it to her, that it was for her, for strength before going off to college, and that I wanted her to know that somoene really thought the world of her. It wasnt something to make her feel sometihng that she didnt, I did it because I thought she did feel something. At any rate I am wondering whether it is ok to be a girls friend and at the same time be attracted to her and have feelings for her. I really am her friend we have a great time goofing around so maybe thats why Im goin crazy here because I found somoene that Im real good friends with and that Im also attracted to. Ladies what do u think!!??! U can see im goin nuts over this girl, I think I love her. Sorry for the long post, any advice ior input is greatly appreciated

[Junket]

Did you call me a racist?

I will not respond to your thread until I get an answer.

[intrepido]

haha nah I didnt call u a racist.... I couldnt respond to u in a private message because I dont have enough posts yet.

[vashti]

Did you call me a racist?

I will not respond to your thread until I get an answer.

That was so funny I would have given you rep points just for making me laugh if the system would have let me.

[vashti]

I don't think many people can transition from friend to lover, but the only way you will find out is to lay your cards on the table with this girl..

[intrepido]

I don't think many people can transition from friend to lover, but the only way you will find out is to lay your cards on the table with this girl..

Yea, Ive actually know and have known people that have done this but I agree its not the easiest thing to do. Thing is I think that there was and is something there and we became friends in the meantime. A lot of serious relationships I know of have started with friendship. Ive been told in the past that Im the perfect guy, whatever that means, and Ive had girlfriedns say that I would be someone they would want to marry etc. I think that Im cursed in a way. This girl seems to think a lot of me but maybe not now and at our young ages. I really care for her and I even feel a bit bad about talkin about this and not just letting it be. I wouldnt talk about it with anyone who might actually be able to give me some information as that would ruin the whole dance, but yea I need to just lay it out for her. She is someone that I want to have in my life so if it doesnt work out I will still remain friends. I need to pull something unexpected and daring.

[King Zarathu]

I'm so artistic....

>.>

[vashti]

Haha! He's gonna be really mad...

Intrepido - tell this girl how you feel. Either way you will have resolution.

[King Zarathu]

Haha! He's gonna be really mad...

Intrepido - tell this girl how you feel. Either way you will have resolution.

I'm tempted to make you one.

[vashti]

No thanks.

[Junket]

First of all, Zath is a big prick.

Second of all, you don't want to be "just friends" with a girl you're romantically interested in. 'Cause it'll hurt.

[Gigabitch]

Haven't you heard of the dreaded Friend Zone? Why would you want to banish yourself to that place voluntarily? Take it from a female, the longer you spend in the Friend Zone, the less chance you'll ever have of being her boyfriend.

You don't really sound all that keen anyway. It's been years. You haven't really made a move. Are you asking us if we think it's okay to linger in Love Limbo forever?

My opinion: No. No, it isn't.

[intrepido]

Haven't you heard of the dreaded Friend Zone? Why would you want to banish yourself to that place voluntarily? Take it from a female, the longer you spend in the Friend Zone, the less chance you'll ever have of being her boyfriend.

You don't really sound all that keen anyway. It's been years. You haven't really made a move. Are you asking us if we think it's okay to linger in Love Limbo forever?

My opinion: No. No, it isn't.

Well its been a year and a month since I first met her and a month after that she left for college, then came back for 3 weeks and then left again...then during this summer she was back around. It seems as if shes playin games and even though I would like to be with her she really means a lot to me as a friend also. Its a tough situation because it seems too perfect, so despite the advice Ive received here I think Im still just going to play it by ear with her and not do anything that would mess things up.

[derm]

Giga is back preaching about the 'Dreaded Friend Zone'..lol

Intrepido unfortunatly it's a bad idea to mix both. She's either your friend that you only think of as a friend or she's a girl you really fancy. Bad idea making her both.

Sure sounds like she fancies you but if your of the age I think you are [Mid-late teens] everyone fancies everyone and you go through partners like you do fresh underware.

Just go with the flow and see where it takes you...enjoy yourself and don't be analyzing the situation so much.

[intrepido]

Giga is back preaching about the 'Dreaded Friend Zone'..lol

Intrepido unfortunatly it's a bad idea to mix both. She's either your friend that you only think of as a friend or she's a girl you really fancy. Bad idea making her both.

Sure sounds like she fancies you but if your of the age I think you are [Mid-late teens] everyone fancies everyone and you go through partners like you do fresh underware.

Just go with the flow and see where it takes you...enjoy yourself and don't be analyzing the situation so much.

Nah Im 23 and shes 20. I think the reason I feel this way is because I could maybe see myself with her for the long haul, I mean if thats in the cards. We just get along like best friends in a way but at the same time I know shes attracted to me and me to her. She respects me as she says theres not many men out there like me and compares me to her father. She says she enjoys all the time we spend together and I am just sitting stone faced not wanting to jump into anything because Id rather something build up over time even more so than it has, and I thnk that would be even more incredible than just jumpin into something. I dont know tho, I will be going away to school for two years next summer in Boston away from our home in Long Island, she is at school during the year but over the summer shes around and at christmas time she will be again. Im tempted to find out something from our mutual friends but Im wondering if it would even be right to do something like that.

PS
I dont know about all this friend zone crap...I know many people that have started out as friends and have had great relationships, and being in the friend zone is nonsense also as far as Im concerned. The friend zone is someplace where you get put if the girl never had any romantic interest in you to begin with. Theres nothing to say that someone who a girl does have romantic interest cant be her friend also, I see it all the time every day, girls being friends with guys who they have a thing for, theres many degrees of friendship and what I have with this girl is something special, a great friendship, but that doesnt in any way mean that she doesnt have interest in me romantically because of the fact that we are friends. I think thats total nonsense and something frustrated people say.