True Confessions

[lovesjoyajm]

Go back to your foosball, woman.

foosball (or "kicker", as it's called here) tables in Deutschland are crap.

[King Zarathu]

foosball (or "kicker", as it's called here) tables in Deutschland are crap.

Oh, I'll give you a foosball table alright.

[lovesjoyajm]

Oh, I'll give you a foosball table alright.

Please do. I could use a good foosball table. And some decent opponents.

[King Zarathu]

Please do. I could use a good foosball table. And some decent opponents.

You want me to deliver the balls first? or the players?

[Henry123]

I'll hold you up to it. Pretend like you're text messaging, remember to keep it on silent.

By the way, you said you got in trouble or something...did she catch you? What happened? How hot is she?

She's an older women but she isnt bad looking. (I suppose its because she works out). She has these unusual jade blue eyes that shines like marbles and blond hair. I'm not really in trouble with her or anything she's just upset over something I did. But I should never have said certain things to her. She waas crazy about me but I think she's married. Its wrong.

[vashti]

She has these unusual jade blue eyes that shines like marbles and blond hair.

Jade is green.

BTW - don't do it. It is a violation of her privacy.

[King Zarathu]

Jade is green.

BTW - don't do it. It is a violation of her privacy.

Don't listen to vashti, Henry.

[Tiay]

I have a jade necklace.. I'd say it's between green and blue, though more towards green. anyways, we know what you mean.. I think. light bondi blue eyes?

[vashti]

Don't listen to vashti, Henry.

Shut up and go clean the catbox or practice kissing the mirror for your date this weekend.

[BFTrick]

mathias if you dont finish this story soon im going to hunt you down and force you to tell it.

it is fantastic, i skip everything else to read your story.

(haha i sound like a nutcase)

keep going fantastic story!

[King Zarathu]

Shut up and go clean the catbox or practice kissing the mirror for your date this weekend.

That's totally what I'm going to be doing. That is, if the herpes doesn't get the mirror first! (inside joke)

[Mathias]

Mathias' Great Adventure, Final Chapter:






So, this is going to get to the part of the story where this gets relatively serious. This is going to be very hard for me to write.

I've cried once over my 4 year relationship that ended. I've cried probably 7-8 times in my life. I'm feeling the tears well up as I'm typing.

So, in all seriousness, any words of encouragement for this would be really helpful.

I get on that flight, with all the confidence, brashness, and downright arrogance of an 18 year old who's getting away with everything. I'm flying down, back home, and going to spend time with a girl who's pining away for me, while there's another girl pining away for me where I just left. This is the life!

We get to Texas, and my best friend decides he wants to skip the game and just go back for a day and a half. I have zero problem with that, because I genuinely missed the girl.

We drive down to my hometown, where we go to our friend's house, and she's there waiting for me. She's absolutely radiant. I've never, before or since, seen a more beautiful sight in my entire life.

I'll never, ever forget the way she ran and jumped into my arms. I'll never forget that first kiss we shared in a long, long time. I'll never forget the night we spent, two young lovers, absolutely head over heels for each other.





"Life is a series of moments." That's the quote that's stuck with me for six years.

*sigh*

I know that to be absolutely true. I remember the day.



In four days, it'll be exactly 6 years...since the single greatest night...the single greatest moment...of my life.





No girl has ever looked that radiant. No girl has ever looked at me with such love...trust, and understanding. I've never loved anyone like I did that one night...that one moment in her arms. I'll remember the details of that night for the rest of my life.









We say goodbye...and she's emotional, teary-eyed, and absolutely in love. As she's crying, the guilt washes over me. What in the world have I done? I have to fix this, and as soon as I get back.


I fly back the next day, and immediately go to the blonde, and break it off. She's furious, obviously, and slams the door in my face. Thank God. That's over, I've finally fixed things...right?


*sigh*



You don't fix things. The guilt, the pain, and your own betrayal is always in the back of your mind. I become insecure. I become argumentative. I become an absolute prick, all because I can't get over the guilt from what I had done.



We actually lasted another year. We were absolutely fantastic together, when I wasn't being an asshole. Finally, I just go over the edge with insecurity and guilt one day and end it. No reason, just my own idiocy. She deserved better, anyway. Problem is, she never got over it, either.



You see, guys...you know I just got out of a four year relationship...and you think that's why I'm here.

You'd be wrong. THIS is my story. I ****ed up, and I've paid the price every day since then. I was never in love with my most recent ex-girlfriend. I pretended I was, because I'm looking for that one moment all over again...I just need to feel it one more time. *That's* what I have to get over. I don't know if I ever will.



But I'll never get over what I did to her. I pray to God she never reads this. Lord knows, I've hurt her enough.

But, I'll never get to say it otherwise.













I'm so sorry, Kel.

[King Zarathu]

This happened six years ago?

[Mathias]

This happened six years ago?

Yep, six years ago Saturday.

[King Zarathu]

Yep, six years ago Saturday.

And you're STILL killing yourself over this? Looks like you still need closure, bud.