More tips for guys

[BlueRaven]

Therefore, since those two traits can blur together, it makes it somewhat difficult to be confident but not cocky. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's harder than you seem to think it is.

[vashti]

Come on derm! Tell me what you own, what you drive, and what kind of work you do!!

But seriously, why would you be bothered about saying what you do for a living? Most women care more about the fact that you are employed than they do about what exactly it is you are doing.

[vashti]

Therefore, since those two traits can blur together, it makes it somewhat difficult to be confident but not cocky. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's harder than you seem to think it is.

I guess since it isn't hard for women, it makes it harder for me to understand why men find it so difficult.

[derm]

Having your own business (at least, in California) is not unusual

Not anywhere in this day and age but you get the girls (over here especially) who get more interested when they find out what you own, drive, work at etc

Therefore, since those two traits can blur together, it makes it somewhat difficult to be confident but not cocky. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's harder than you seem to think it is.

I agree there is a very fine line here between what's confident and what's cocky and then what's downright arrogant

[derm]

why would you be bothered about saying what you do for a living?

Because then you are automatically an attraction to them. I prefer to tell them lies and say I'm just out of college or between jobs. If they stick around I like them if not I file them under G for goldigger

Most women care more about the fact that you are employed than they do about what exactly it is you are doing.

Well over here there is little or no unemployment at least amoung young people. If you were unemployed you couldn't afford to socialise in the first place so not an issue

[vashti]

Because then you are automatically an attraction to them.

And that is a problem because....?

Anyway, my husband has a really interesting job. I didn't even know what it was when I first met him because I had never heard of it, but I do know that he was excited about it and proud of himself, and *that* was really attractive to me.

[derm]

And that is a problem because....?

............the are liking you for the wrong reasons. Actually they might not actually like you at all, just see themselves being chauffeur driven around in a nice motor, weekend breaks away and the ability to get lots of expensive presents on a regular basis. [/QUOTE]

[vashti]

............the are liking you for the wrong reasons. Actually they might not actually like you at all, just see themselves being chauffeur driven around in a nice motor, weekend breaks away and the ability to get lots of expensive presents on a regular basis.

So you think you will attract a higher quality girl by telling them you are unemployed?

How is your strategy working?

[BlueRaven]

I guess since it isn't hard for women, it makes it harder for me to understand why men find it so difficult.

Fair enough.

I found myself thinking long and hard over this topic about a week ago, and the conclusion I drew was that a conclusion cannot really be drawn. It changes on a case to case basis, and how each particular girl responds to one's confidence level, etc.

[derm]

So you think you will attract a higher quality girl by telling them you are unemployed?

How is your strategy working?

Good so far!

Nah I'm generally not THAT paranoid around girls. Just if I suspect they are goldiggers and we have nothing much in common to begin with. I then start driving them away by making myself less attractive and pretending I'm a bit of a looser.

Interesting to see their reactions.

Tried pretending to be a priest once, but it backfired on me...

[Rob26]

What's wrong with golddigging women? As long as you enjoy being around the one who's attracted to your money -- and you don't plan on running out of money!

Is it really that important that they like you "for you"?

Just askin'

To me, this is analogous to women wanting to be liked for their "inner beauty" and not because they're actually gorgeous.

[Mathias]

What's wrong with golddigging women? As long as you enjoy being around the one who's attracted to your money -- and you don't plan on running out of money!

Because that's not love. That's using someone.

You may not, but I want much more than that.

[Rob26]

Most people probably want more than that but that doesn't mean they deserve it or will get it. A lot of us will have to settle for less.

[derm]

Most people probably want more than that but that doesn't mean they deserve it or will get it. A lot of us will have to settle for less.

Well I won't be 'settling' for less. you may be happy settling for a goldigger but I ain't

Because that's not love. That's using someone.

You may not, but I want much more than that.

Me toooooo

[jurupa]

It is your JOB to impress us. If we aren't impressed, you won't be getting anything, will you? The trick is that you all need to learn how to do this without sounding arrogant. For some reason, this is hard for many men.

I don't go out of my way to impress girls. I let my personality do the work. Becuase I do not like to show off. You could say that I am a humble guy.