Someone Tell Me What Hes Thinking!

[sfalexi]

Are all american guys all about sex that you all just seem to be unable to stop mentioning it?

Not just american guys, but most guys in generaly (including those in brazil and other countries). That's why we continue mentioning it.

I asked why would a guy take a break from a relationship? What is he thinking when he does that?

Most of the time a guy taking a break is trying to figure out if this is the right one for them. They are having doubts about the relationship and want to think about whether it's something they want to continue pursuing or not.

IS IT A CRIME TO BE BORN 7-8 YEARS BEFORE THE GUY THAT YOU LOVE?? HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE PARENTS WITH A GREATER AGE DIFFERENCE? HOW CAN YOU JUSDGE ME AND MY CULTURE WHEN YOU HAVE OLD MEN IN YOUR COUNTRY MARRING TEENAGE WHORES??

Nope. Not a crime. My ex was born six years before me (making her six years older) and we had a great relationship. And we're on a break now too (she's figuring out whether I'm the one for her). And like I said in my other post, it's not uncommon to see guys going out with girls much younger than them. What IS uncommon though is when guys cross over a certain 'barrier'. Usually legal, but also there is a difference in maturity.

When I was a freshman in HS, I thought there was nothing wrong with us. I couldn't figuire out why all the seniors always despised us and never wanted to hang out with us. I always said, "What's wrong with us?" Then, when I became a senior, I realized MYSELF that the freshman were annoying. Their sense of humor was crude and base. They didn't understand life and it's experiences. Now that I'm 21, I think that about HS seniors. And it continues. Most of us mature as we grow older. Especially during the high school/college years when we have more and more responsabilities, experiences, challenges, etc. thrown at us.

What bothers me ultimately about this is I can't understand why he seems to be able to get along with you. I'm not saying that anything is wrong with you, just that you are a fifteen year old girl. And the way you type (the cursing, the caps letters, the sentences), and the things you say show me that you have the maturity of a fifteen year old girl (which is completely normal). But he should have the mentality of a 22 year old. Which in most normal cases, shouldn't be compatible with that of a high schooler.

I mean, you say he's a teacher, speaks 5 languages, has travelled extensively, and is a very smart and intelligent man. So what's bothering me is, "Why would an intelligent, successful man get involved with a young, under-experienced, girl still in high school?" And I can't figure it out.

Another thing that bothers me is that he's already asked your father for your hand in marriage? You've only been together 6 months. This is much too early to ask for something like that (unless courting relatoinships are much much shorter in brazil. That I don't know).

That's why I am not comfortable and am still going to say (and will still say it for a while) that you shouldn't be with him. At least not yet. You should finish school. See other people around your age, hang out with your friends, and not even have such things as a future marriage already in your mind.

Alexi

[IceQueen]

Another thing that bothers me is that he's already asked your father for your hand in marriage? You've only been together 6 months.

Where do you get six months? Two.
One when he "bought two rings."

[Screwed_Guy]

The more I hear, the worse it seems

[K3vMySt3r]

you know what...its lyke one of those movies that u see...an innocent girl falls in "Love" supposedely with this guy and they get married and oh lets say while she's in high school, the guy out their doing some things that she don't know...later they break up...Ahhhhhh good movie...Wonder if it ever comes true...i don't care if u're in an legal age u're 16... thats all that matters...lyke u said u're innocent right...and this guy is 22 u think he's ever so innocent? Lol this a joke...but keep us posted LOL

[sfalexi]

Wow. I just reread all the old posts of Eliana's. So you first kissed the guy around the beginning of january. That gives you all of january and all of february. That's two months dating total. He bought "two rings" in the beginning of february. Roughly one month after you guys starting dating. Also, your father allowed a 22 year old man to sleep with you in your room (whether you had sex or not, that is irrelevant) but he trusted a 22 year old man to sleep with you, a fifteen year old girl, in your room alone after only one month of dating.

I thought six months was too short to buy rings and ask a hand in marriage. So my view hasn't improved at all now that I realize it's been two months (and ONE when he bought the rings)

Your problem is that you're wrapped up in this guy. You're hormones are raging (as are every teenager's) and you believe that this man is your soulmate. Two months is NOTHING to judge a relationship on. Especially not to make a decision considering marriage. Especially at the age of 15. This whole thing stinks. You can't see it because to you, he is Mr. Wonderful. And naturally, any guy that wants ANYTHING from a girl knows how to butter her up. And any guy worth his salt knows that you need to get 'in' with the parents in order to make life easier when dating the girl. But two months is nothing. And you are taking this relationship and moving it WAY too fast.

As for him respecting your decision to wait until marriage, I am not sure how this will play out. I know that I can't wait until marriage. But I am a patient man. You don't know his viewpoint. And the fact that he says he'll "respect" it is a slight clue that it's not his idea of what he wanted, but he'll try to go along with it. And he will hold out for a long time. But, if it's not his true desier to wait until marriage, there's probably a 95% percent chance that eventually he'll start pressuring you to have sex like I mentioned in one of my other posts. And the fact that he continues do to sweet things and treat you like a little princess makes the likelyhood of you having sex with him greater. No matter how you look at it, if he were to ask you to have sex, it's better for him to have treated you nice throughout the relationship than to not have treated you nice.

Two months is nothing. I got confused (possibly between 'knowing' and 'dating' time) but two months is nothing. Certainly not enough time to make a true and knowledgable decision to something even as remotely serious as marriage, let alone whether he's perfect. And it's certainly enough time for him to continue being Mr. Wonderful to you while not worrying about having sex. But if it's not his wishes to wait until marriage, it will bother him. And he'll eventually ask you about it more and more and more until you cave in because of all the nice things he's done for you.

So just don't be shocked when he starts bringing up the topic of sex. It's up to you whether you decide to have it or not (for the love of God don't tell us if you do because I think it's disgusting thinking about someone my age with a 16 year old HS girl) but it is still up to you. Whatever happens, happens.

But I still (especially after getting my dating time length straightened out) don't trust him and think something has to be up. Maybe it's something underhanded like trying to find a girl that he can coax into bed eventually after getting her parents to fully trust him, and trying to turn her into someone that he can have sex with any time because her emotions are strong about him and new to her (which is more along the lines of what I think is happening). Or maybe it's just something stupid like he doesn't have experience with girls or life in general and you're the first person that's come along that has shown interest in him. But something just doesn't seem normal here.

Alexi

[squirrley]

doesnt seem normal, it ISNT normal.

[KenThePartyMan]

Originally posted by sfalexi
Wow. I just reread all the old posts of Eliana's. So you first kissed the guy around the beginning of january. That gives you all of january and all of february. That's two months dating total. He bought "two rings" in the beginning of february. Roughly one month after you guys starting dating. Also, your father allowed a 22 year old man to sleep with you in your room (whether you had sex or not, that is irrelevant) but he trusted a 22 year old man to sleep with you, a fifteen year old girl, in your room alone after only one month of dating.

I thought six months was too short to buy rings and ask a hand in marriage. So my view hasn't improved at all now that I realize it's been two months (and ONE when he bought the rings)

Your problem is that you're wrapped up in this guy. You're hormones are raging (as are every teenager's) and you believe that this man is your soulmate. Two months is NOTHING to judge a relationship on. Especially not to make a decision considering marriage. Especially at the age of 15. This whole thing stinks. You can't see it because to you, he is Mr. Wonderful. And naturally, any guy that wants ANYTHING from a girl knows how to butter her up. And any guy worth his salt knows that you need to get 'in' with the parents in order to make life easier when dating the girl. But two months is nothing. And you are taking this relationship and moving it WAY too fast.

As for him respecting your decision to wait until marriage, I am not sure how this will play out. I know that I can't wait until marriage. But I am a patient man. You don't know his viewpoint. And the fact that he says he'll "respect" it is a slight clue that it's not his idea of what he wanted, but he'll try to go along with it. And he will hold out for a long time. But, if it's not his true desier to wait until marriage, there's probably a 95% percent chance that eventually he'll start pressuring you to have sex like I mentioned in one of my other posts. And the fact that he continues do to sweet things and treat you like a little princess makes the likelyhood of you having sex with him greater. No matter how you look at it, if he were to ask you to have sex, it's better for him to have treated you nice throughout the relationship than to not have treated you nice.

Two months is nothing. I got confused (possibly between 'knowing' and 'dating' time) but two months is nothing. Certainly not enough time to make a true and knowledgable decision to something even as remotely serious as marriage, let alone whether he's perfect. And it's certainly enough time for him to continue being Mr. Wonderful to you while not worrying about having sex. But if it's not his wishes to wait until marriage, it will bother him. And he'll eventually ask you about it more and more and more until you cave in because of all the nice things he's done for you.

So just don't be shocked when he starts bringing up the topic of sex. It's up to you whether you decide to have it or not (for the love of God don't tell us if you do because I think it's disgusting thinking about someone my age with a 16 year old HS girl) but it is still up to you. Whatever happens, happens.

But I still (especially after getting my dating time length straightened out) don't trust him and think something has to be up. Maybe it's something underhanded like trying to find a girl that he can coax into bed eventually after getting her parents to fully trust him, and trying to turn her into someone that he can have sex with any time because her emotions are strong about him and new to her (which is more along the lines of what I think is happening). Or maybe it's just something stupid like he doesn't have experience with girls or life in general and you're the first person that's come along that has shown interest in him. But something just doesn't seem normal here.

Alexi

To tired to write anything so i stole this from Alexi...hope you don't mind...

[sfalexi]

It's all good Ken. As long as you list me as a reference and later post a bibliography!

[Eliana]

Thanks for once again replying after actually reading my posts alexi... I understand your concerns and I dont blame you... here everyone is also saying the same thing... How I wish you could see him to know why I say hes unlike anyone else? Hes a guy who one day said that he got fed up of seeing the same road leading to his house and walking it the same way, the same path.. so he spent the whole day walking backwards... When I complained that the ferris wheel in the park here isnt tall enough to take any picture that is showing anything past 2 blocks he finds a way to break into the local radio station and climb the tower to waste an entire film roll taking pictures of the town... He is responsible, provides for his mother and three siblings, is kind to everybody, is the most serious guy when needed and at the same time he never grew up... Picture yourselves living in a small town where all guys want to do is to go dancing on saturday or buy a big bike then theres this guy who is everything you wanted appears in front of you? Why is this age thing so difficult for you all to accept? My only wish alexi is that you could get to know him.. but I doubt that will ever happen.. as for me.. be it hormones or not, I am taking the chance, because if you were in my place and lived in this house and were surrounded by these ppl you probaly would have too.... All I can say is that it is going to last... and I understand your fears.... but as I said.. There is noone like him here and there will never probaly be someone like him again here... I dont want to ask myself why didnt I try? See you every few days... as I show the others here that they are not always right...

[jane]

you know what.. i have read like half of this thread.. hey Eliana.. you are completely insane.. ok? YOU ARE 16 , anyway you look at it. HE IS 23???
I can understand that what your are feeling is "love", your a child.. Children confuse love and enfatuation all the time.

Icequeen.. you gave 2 months? .. I'll agree with you..

Eliana... STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BREED...

[Screwed_Guy]

Originally posted by jane
you know what.. i have read like half of this thread.. hey Eliana.. you are completely insane.. ok? YOU ARE 16 , anyway you look at it. HE IS 23???
I can understand that what your are feeling is "love", your a child.. Children confuse love and enfatuation all the time.

Icequeen.. you gave 2 months? .. I'll agree with you..

Eliana... STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BREED...

Finally someone said it. Thank you Jane I'm just suprised that it wasn't me that said it.

[Ray - depressed]

ok guys being harsh on this girl ain't gona work.. after she's only 16, let her learn for herself.. don't u remember ur mommy telling u not to slide off that staircase? we were always right, remember? and umm, invincible too

[LightOn]

Eliana: One quote here

May God be with you..

[Eliana]

hahahaha......

May god be with me?

Werent you the ppl that told me that hed sleep with me when I became legal? You were wrong.. That it wowouldnt last more than a month? You were wrong... That hes a child rapist molester bla bla bla? He hasnt laid a single finger on the places that your boyfriends cant stop grabbing... So you were wrong too.... So may god be with this forum... Even tough he says that you are all idiots over there in the US... by the way hes travelled there too... found your country the most ****ed up of all... I will still come here to say that you were wrong.... and Im going to be here for a wrong time.... By the way... for those who care to read, were still together... he recently rescheduled his trime table to have all wednesdays free as he works on Sunday too... wednesdays my day... as he spends the whole day with me..

[squirrley]

arent you one lucky little girl who gets to spend one day with him!

We all may be harsh but its from experience. AND NOW the truth comes out, you dont live here in the GOOD OLE USA!!!!!

Well that explains it all...