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Thread: Better days and weirder days...

  1. #1
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    Better days and weirder days...

    Well, an update on my life of sorts. I haven't posted in about 4 days, but you're about to find out why. If you don't know my story, you can read these threads and find out. I figured I'm usually doing searches when people post "updates", so I'll just do the work for you.

    [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=14996"]My...past, so to speak.[/URL]

    [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=14711"]Then, my 4 year relationship ends.[/URL]

    [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=14937"]I recover fairly nicely...[/URL]

    [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=15364"]But then, what's wrong with me?[/URL]

    It's time to assign a name to the girl in the above thread, because she's a part of this story too. Let's call her Lila.

    However, there's another girl in this saga. Let's call her Rachel. I met Rachel pretty randomly one day, and asked her out for coffee on a Saturday (which was yesterday). She agreed.


    Alright. So, my friends and I are all out on Thursday night. Lila's there as well. Two of my friends ask, "What's going on with you and Lila?" I avoid the question, because I hate rumors, and move on...but it's obvious to other people that there might be something going on there.

    Fast forward to Friday. We're off for Thanksgiving break, so nobody's really around. Lila calls at about 4:00, saying how bored she was, and we agree to go grab something to eat. We end up staying at the restaurant for a while, having a few drinks. We leave the restaurant, and she invites me in again. This time, stuff happens. We don't have sex (I won't...), but do everything but that, and I end up staying the night again.

    Now, it's painfully obvious this is the kind of "relationship" she wants...which is *perfectly* fine with me. We're not that compatible...we have completely different kinds of pasts, and there would never be a future there. So, hopefully, everything will be fine there.

    Fast forward to Saturday. I wake up at about 8 AM, put my clothes on, and head out. I take a nap (I can't sleep over there well), and get ready for the date with Rachel.



    So, I meet her outside, and we go in. She seems a little nervous at first, which is fine. I'm actually fairly smooth, and we end up talking for nearly an hour and a half...before I have to end it (I had to go out of town for the night).

    Rachel is a breath of fresh air. She's cute, very smart, easy going, funny, and extremely easy to talk to. From talking to her, and listening to her stories, you can tell she's a really caring, down to earth, and loving person.

    Of course, with everything else in life, there's a problem.

    We start talking about 9/11/2001 for some strange reason (I don't remember why it came up), and I talk about how my Italian professor made us take a test that day (I was a sophomore in college when it happened).

    Without missing a beat, she talks about how her high school wouldn't even let the freshmen and sophomores watch what was going on. She then says she didn't even know what had happened until she got on the bus to go home.


    That's right.


    For those of you scoring at home (or even if you're alone), she's 4 years (pretty much exactly) younger than me. When I was a sophomore in college, she was a freshman in high school.


    Now, my mother comes into town tomorrow for a week, so I technically have a while to figure all this out. There's a lot of questions that stem from this.

    #1: Do I call Rachel again and ask her out on another date? What would you guys feel about the age difference?

    #2: How much trouble am I getting myself into with Lila? Is this something I should back away from now, especially since we travel within the same (relative) circle?


    Well, Fras, you asked for an update. You got a novel.

    Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving week!

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    Mathias, you're dismissing any future with Lila because it's convenient for you. I can almost guarantee you she doesn't see her involvement with you this way. Don't string her along- it isn't fair.

    Rachel sounds great. So she's young. So what? I'd go for her, and clean up the Lila stuff first.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Mathias, you're dismissing any future with Lila because it's convenient for you.
    See, I do worry about that. However, she knows I just got out of a four-year relationship, and she knows I'm not looking for anything serious.

    She's initiated everything sexually, to be fair, too.

    But, if that's the consensus here, I'll rethink it. You may be right.


    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Rachel sounds great. So she's young. So what?
    I was talking with a good friend of mine about this tonight. I don't think it's the four years so much as the fact that we're in such different points in our lives. She's a sophomore in college, and I'll be getting my MBA in 6 months. There's just a ton of experiences you get between 20 and 24 that might be too complicated to get through.

    Or, maybe, again, I'm wrong.

    Bah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathias


    I was talking with a good friend of mine about this tonight. I don't think it's the four years so much as the fact that we're in such different points in our lives. She's a sophomore in college, and I'll be getting my MBA in 6 months. There's just a ton of experiences you get between 20 and 24 that might be too complicated to get through.


    Maybe one of those experiences is dating you. To me, this looks good because she can be Girlfriend Light for you. You're at one of those crossroads of life where people tend to make big decisions, but your circumstance doesn't lend itself to setling down with someone. She sounds like a good solution.
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    Well, you were straight, and kept to the point, I appreciate the update.

    I love the little twists you've added to your life story, you're crazy dude.

    I would say be careful about the Lila thing, don't put yourself in a tough spot, not now, not yet. Especially if you're dealing with 2 girls.

    4 years?

    I'd do four years, but I doubt any more than that.

    I'm 20, Ames is 24 if that provides you with any insight.
    Last edited by Junket; 21-11-06 at 06:45 AM.

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    I don't think four years is questionable. In case you didn't know, girls tend to mature faster than guys, which makes you just about the right age for her.

    Four years is problematic when one person is under 18 years, or when you are talking high school vs. jr. high school, in my opinion. In fact, I don't think I ever dated anyone for any length of time who was closer in age than 4 years. The guys were just too infantile.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee View Post
    Well, you were straight, and kept to the point, I appreciate the update.

    I love the little twists you've added to your life story, you're crazy dude.

    I would say be careful about the Lila thing, don't put yourself in a tough spot, not now, not yet. Especially if you're dealing with 2 girls.

    4 years?

    I'd do for years, but I doubt any more than that.

    I'm 20, Ames is 24 if that provides you with any insight.
    Probably a good post here, thanks.

    BTW--is my life really that crazy? I honestly thought I was tame compared to most.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathias View Post
    BTW--is my life really that crazy? I honestly thought I was tame compared to most.
    Straight up?

    I'd say you're acting wreckless with your involvement, and history of involving yourself with more than one girl. I mean, has it ever worked out well for you?

    Granted I understand you're not really committed to either of these girls right now, just be mindful not to get committed to both...

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    Break things off with Lila. Rachel does sound great, I think you're doing more damage to the possibility of things with HER by being physical with Lila than the other way around.

    Also, maybe b/c all of my recent experiences have been with guys 3-10 years older than me, 4 years doesn't seem like that much. A pretty normal amount, really. I don't really think of "she's in college, I graduated" as too much of a "we're at different parts of our lives" problem. Maybe "she's in high school, I graduated college", but seriously I think the age thing isn't a big deal.

    Just me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee View Post
    Straight up?
    Dude, if you guys EVER give it to me any other way, I'll be pissed. VERY pissed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee View Post
    I'd say you're acting wreckless with your involvement, and history of involving yourself with more than one girl. I mean, has it ever worked out well for you?
    Nope, it hasn't. This is the second time I've done it. Clearly, the first didn't work out well. But no, I'm not in a relationship, so that's the difference, to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee View Post
    Granted I understand you're not really committed to either of these girls right now, just be mindful not to get committed to both...
    That won't happen. I can promise that...I don't need to be in that situation again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm View Post
    Break things off with Lila. Rachel does sound great, I think you're doing more damage to the possibility of things with HER by being physical with Lila than the other way around.
    Careful with this. I've been on ONE date with Rachel, and it was for an hour and a half. Granted, it was a pretty damn cool 90 minutes, but I've learned in my life to take that for what it is.

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    Alright, you guys win.

    Rachel and I are going out next week. I'm still worried about the age thing, but I might as well try it.

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    Where are you going? I want to spy on you and see if you make out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Where are you going? I want to spy on you and see if you make out.
    It's a lunch date. I don't think making out is going to be a part of it.

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    Couple of things. Rachel and I have been Facebook messaging for the past couple of days, so there's a couple of things to overanalyze there.

    1. She usually responds to a pretty long message with a longer one of her own within about 15 minutes after I send it. Weird, or overanalytical?

    2. Looks like this girl has a past. She seems to be good friends with her exes, which is a good sign. But, she's young, and has been in a very serious relationship? Red flag?

    3. Should I even care about ANY of the above, given that I'm not looking for anything over the top serious?

    4. How Jurupa am I acting?

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