Mentally Unstable

[Kiechi]

See love hurts. It sucks!!! That’s why I try and block it out. So I guess I could be hiding intense feelings of love towards you deep down in my subconscious somewhere. Its possible...

If I was going to love anyone it'd be you. I mean we are married for Heavens sake!!! And when you asked me I didn't take long to say yes (just a few seconds if I recall) so that’s got to tell you something.Its obvious really. I'm in denial.

(I knew it)

You're from the UK right? If so, why do you AIM only?

[Sooky]

I've only given my AOL on here to try and maintain my secret identity.

(And now in the interests of natural security I must ask you to forget what you have just read. Or you can PM me and I might just show you how deep the rabbit hole goes... )

[Sooky]

Did Z show you? And now you're doing it too?

Huh? Have I missed something?

[Gigabitch]

Zarathu is the AIM Pied Piper.

[Junket]

They even asked me "Do you need to talk to somebody?" and of course I said, "Huh? No, no, it's not like I'm mentally unstable, it's tough I won't deny, but I have ways of venting the stress."

Everything seems to logical when I speak with them, I sound like the most intelligent, rational, honest person when I speak with them. They're all so impressed by how well I'm managing the situation.

But all that goes to shit as soon as I hang up the phone.

And I'm not managing the situation, I'm just the bitch who won't scream as they slowly rape me for all I'm worth.

[misombra]

i've accepted the fact that i'm crazy.

being mentally unstable has made my life better in many ways.

[TDurden]

They even asked me "Do you need to talk to somebody?" and of course I said, "Huh? No, no, it's not like I'm mentally unstable, it's tough I won't deny, but I have ways of venting the stress."

Everything seems to logical when I speak with them, I sound like the most intelligent, rational, honest person when I speak with them. They're all so impressed by how well I'm managing the situation.

But all that goes to shit as soon as I hang up the phone.

And I'm not managing the situation, I'm just the bitch who won't scream as they slowly rape me for all I'm worth.

It's really hard to follow this when one doesn't know what situation you're talking about

[Junket]

It's really hard to follow this when one doesn't know what situation you're talking about

I'm sorry but I have to stay cryptic about this.

I know it doesn't make any sense to you guys, but telling you really won't help my situation.

I have to vent (unfortunately almost every day) and posting, writing, talking this babble helps.

Believe me if I had a means to solve this issue (the "right" way) any sooner I would. It's a waiting game that started over a month ago that I'm losing patience with, and that they don't care to hurry along. Until this shit is settled with, one way or another, I cannot plan even the next month of my life without risking being torn away from it all.

You guys don't have to read these posts, or respond to them, but I have to put it out there, I've always had to put it out there. I never had a place to put it before, but now I do. Here in LF, there on my blog. Even the idea of somebody having an idea of what I'm going through is of some comfort.

I'm just trying to do what I must to survive with my sanity.

It's just getting really difficult.

[Zach]

Do you love a girl whom is close friends with another guy and you know he likes her? If he likes her then them being friends kills you because you know the nature of their communication. She may be attracted to him but says nothing or does voice her opinion. He treats her differently than just a friend simply because he likes her. And you are stuck in between them both by your attatchment to her? Not all three people can exist together in harmony at the same time with all these emotions binding the situation together.

Just a guess. Do you play a role here at all?

[Junket]

Do you love a girl whom is close friends with another guy and you know he likes her? If he likes her then them being friends kills you because you know the nature of their communication. She may be attracted to him but says nothing or does voice her opinion. He treats her differently than just a friend simply because he likes her. And you are stuck in between them both by your attatchment to her? Not all three people can exist together in harmony at the same time with all these emotions binding the situation together.

Just a guess. Do you play a role here at all?

What the **** are you talking about?

Go back to spouting about chicken holocausts or somethin'.

[Zach]

What the **** are you talking about?

Go back to spouting about chicken holocausts or somethin'.

Hey I was just asking. I have been there and what you described as cryptic reminded me of that situation. I just figured I would ask since I have nothing better to offer.

Chicken holocaust... rofl

[artyemi]

Frasbee, I don't think it's possible to always manage everything or keep everything under control. There are times when I sympathize with people who do things that are wrong whether against the law or morally. Then I start wondering how can I sympathize with such monsters and whether I'm just breaking down. There's no rules that say you can't breakdown every down and then.

[Junket]

I think I'm paranoid...I just got a package from my brother...he knows what's going on...he knows it all...I haven't spoken with him since he called me for my address...I didn't even look at the contents at first...I just pulled out the card...on front it read:
"believe nothing,
no matter where you read it
or who has said it,
not even if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.

- buddha"

all he wrote inside was "Love, your brother Jim"

I finally cried...I read it to many times...even now I keep reading it...then I looked into the box and I can see which gifts were from his wife and which ones were from my brother...my brother sent me a very large green army duffel bag...maybe I'm reading too far into it but just the other day I jokingly asked in an e-mail if he would like to move to Canada with me, or Mexico...I feel like I can't trust them anymore...maybe I should get away? this hurts more only because I can't tell Amy...it all comes down to Amy...

[vashti]

It's all too cryptic for me. If you want to talk for real, you can PM me any time.

[Zach]

Yeah - I think the Buddha is amazing. I have read much about him.

But beyond that I agree it is too cryptic to give anything back.
My offer always stands. Im always here to talk Fras. Anytime.