i chicken up everytime someone ask me for something

[confused01]

ok i'm gonna try and make it very short but clear. broke up with my ex 9months ago, i asked someone out but i was rejected and since then i only date for one or 2 times and , c ya baby they r gone i don't let them get any closer i might even try hard to go on the third date but that's about it. i chicken up and i back up.

what should i do?????

[anachronistic]

it was very hard to understand your question. is english your native tongue?

i say, risk it and go on the 3rd date.

[confused01]

english is my third language.
plus what my question is why do i act like this, can't commit or start a relationship with anyone, i dated many guys but couldn't take it any further than just dating.

[jurupa]

Sounds like you have some trust and/or insecurities within you. How long ago did you break up with your ex? Because it sounds like you want to get over your ex, but are not ready to date again. But at the same time it seems that you want a more serious committed relationship. It may be better for you to not look to get serious with guys you go out with.

[Ellynn]

I think that fact that you went thru a breakup and then when you thought you found someone, you were rejected. That can do a lot to your self-esteem. It can also make you feel like the whole dating thing is just pointless.

Trust me--I know.

But, now you say your rejecting anyone who trys to get close to you. I know that feeling also. But, were you attracted to any of these guys? I know I have had several pursuits but by no one I personally found attractive physically or emotionally. So I basically avoid getting involved with them. I have tried, but I just feel its not fair to the guys if Im just not feeling it. I mean why even bother dating them then?
But, do you find yourself attracted to other guys? Maybe someone who doesn't really know you and you see in passing OR someone that it seems almost impossible to be with? Do you find yourself falling for people who are unattainable or impossible to have a relationship with? I know I've found myself in this situation a lot within the past yr.

All I can say is don't shut out everyone. I'm at least trying to keep an open mind. But, Im not actively looking either. I just figure what happens happens. For now just focus on other things in your life. Remember, you don't need a bf to be happy, and not having one does NOT make you a loser(even though you probably feel lonely sometimes.) It will happen when its right. So, hang in there.

[vashti]

I think you are over-thinking this. Most guys are the type you only date once or twice. It isn't easy to find someone worth keeping.

[Ellynn]

Most guys are the type you only date once or twice. It isn't easy to find someone worth keeping.

Isn't that true....

[anachronistic]

I think you are over-thinking this. Most guys are the type you only date once or twice. It isn't easy to find someone worth keeping.

it's the same for girls too, believe it or not. the world is full of shitty people.

[confused01]

thanks guys

i did break up with my ex about 10 months now, i can't say i'm completely over it, but i do find some guys very attractive physicaly but when it comes to other hings i just c then as a big NO NO, i do like guys that are impossible to get, and do tell myself you can do better than this guy, the one that are extra nice are most of the time not good looking but very sweet so i can only c them as friends, the one that think they r the best r most of the time rude and not my type of personalities, so i can't even keep them as friends, etc etc, i'm getting tooooooo picky and it buggs me, cauz i analyse and critique everybody but myself, i know it's wrong, so therefor i'm wondering what's wrong with my attittude??????

and how should i deal with people who keeps chassing u and u can c it in their eyes i want to have sex of you and nothing more.....???? guys that even if u reject them they'll keep on smoothing u playing with ur mind, doing anything just to get you, and i mean the guys that u have to be carefull with......
i'm too lost

[Zach]

thanks guys

i did break up with my ex about 10 months now, i can't say i'm completely over it, but i do find some guys very attractive physicaly but when it comes to other hings i just c then as a big NO NO, i do like guys that are impossible to get, and do tell myself you can do better than this guy, the one that are extra nice are most of the time not good looking but very sweet so i can only c them as friends, the one that think they r the best r most of the time rude and not my type of personalities, so i can't even keep them as friends, etc etc, i'm getting tooooooo picky and it buggs me, cauz i analyse and critique everybody but myself, i know it's wrong, so therefor i'm wondering what's wrong with my attittude??????

and how should i deal with people who keeps chassing u and u can c it in their eyes i want to have sex of you and nothing more.....???? guys that even if u reject them they'll keep on smoothing u playing with ur mind, doing anything just to get you, and i mean the guys that u have to be carefull with......
i'm too lost

This sounds just like me!! I seem to do that same things as you. As for the stalkerish guys all you can really do besides telling them off is just constantly make it blatantly obvious they ain't getting any! lol

[Gigabitch]

Oh, you're not being too picky. You're just applying some standards to your love life- IMO it's a good practice.

I know what it's like to be skittish about guys. Trust your instincts. They're protecting you- is that such a bad thing?

[confused01]

i think u guys r right. ho wel then i shoudl take it easy and not make it a big issue like if i was different or something.
thanks for your responses i appriciate it

[The Great OV!!!]

Meh, two dates is not bad....I have not been on a date since............................................. .......man.

[Ellynn]

Good for you for being picky! At least it helps to weed out some of the losers out there.

If it means being single awhile longer, so be it. In the long run, it will be worth it---- at least I hope!

[tellherthis]

Just make sure that when you meet someone who you would have been able to see yourself with were it not for your previous break up, do you hardest to give them a chance.
Yeah, I'm kinda one of those guys for someone