Need Advice from Men

[Chloe]

I have a guy in my life who I have known for 6 months and he must know by now that I am interested in him. We flirt with each other all the time and have talked on the phone several times. Things were really starting to heat up last week and just now he was at my home to drop something off and after our conversation, he shook my hand when he said goodbye. I was so shocked because I consider us personal friends (we met under business circumstances) and we have certainly flirt alot! Is this a sign that he is backing away? I feel so dejected right now because I thought things were moving along ...now I feel terrible. Please let me know how a guy thinks...is a handshake a kiss off?

[Junket]

Sounds like he might be unsure as to whether you were interested in taking things further. You should let him know you want to. You can't always play the helpless woman.

[koolwhip]

i agree with Frassbee...

women shouldn't always play the shy and helpless character. You women need to step up in our society and state your position with power.

Just ask him what;s goin on, its really not that hard

[michaelmorgan]

6 months..oh my God..what, you think you'll live forever?

Find out more about how to seduce a man, regardless if you are shy or you feel uneasy making the first move.

This, of course, if you don't want to bump into handshakes all of your life.

[vashti]

In my experience, if he liked you, you would know it. What was the rest of his demeanor like? Besides the handshake, was he very formal in his behavior? If so, then move on.

[jurupa]

He may have done the handshake as he may not know if it was okay to give you a hug or not. And don't assume he knows that you are into him. Just because you guys flirt and talk, does not mean he has picked up the signs.

[Chloe]

You guys are sooo wonderful giving me all of this feedback. I have been so obvious with him about how crazy I am over him, I can't imagine he hasn't figured it out. This really is a classic example of "the chase" which we all know can be very exciting. We tease, we play, we touch each other - tap the shoulders, etc. My problem though is, with everything going so well lately, this hand shake has left me confused. (Reading this back, it sounds like I am in junior high. We are both on our 30's.)

I know this is going to sound really nuts, but I have been talking to his best friend via e-mail helping him solve a computer problem. I am wondering if my guy is feeling funky because by talking to the best friend I am in "his world" or he may even feel jealous? I am purely speculating on the jealousy thing.

Looking back, I should have hugged him today and said "don't you think we are beyond a handshake?" We have hugged goodbye and hello a few times.
Our conversation today before the handshake was just like all of our other conversations - we get along great - always lots of smiles and good eye contact. We never have uncomfortable lags when we talk. I am so sad, really because I adore him. When we first met, he was very formal, but now we are very warm to each other...except for the downer today. I hope he really wanted a hug and just spaced out and stuck his hand out...I dunno. I talked to a guy friend a bit ago and he said that guys normally do not make any type of physical gesture (hug, kiss, handshake) if there is no feeling along with it. He thinks he may have choked a bit, but then again he is my friend and may just be telling me what I want to hear. *miserable*

Thanks, guys. You're better than a therapist.

[CAM]

I hate to say this...but maybe he just isn't attracted to you.

[Tiay]

this is one over-hyped handshake. It's only one handshake. He could've just spaced out, as you said. Or maybe he really is backing off, in which you'll be able to tell soon enough.
Also, It's possible to play flirt games for years without it meaning much beyond mutual enjoyment of being flirty for the sake of being flirty.

[JohnsonROd]

Well... keep a condom on you at all times... then next time he shakes your hand, you can drop the dome in his hand... that should clear things up bit eh?

[Gigabitch]

That was funny, Johnson.

Chloe, has he ever touched you before? Maybe he just wanted to touch you and didn't know what else to do.

[Chloe]

@ Giga: Yes. Thanks - I appreciate your kindness.

[Rob26]

He probably can't read people well and isn't sure how you feel about him. Also, men are afraid to hug women, first, we wait for some indication (such as them hugging us) that it's okay.

[love2loveu]

The handshake is ok, but perhaps he's testing you, to see if youre into him or not. Heres something to try, forget the handshake. Give him ahug. Im talking the kind of hug where you hold him close to you, let him feel your chest against his, and hold him tight, dont let him push you away, if he does, that tells me he's not interested. Since hugs are not as meaningful, blissful or romantic as kissing, perhaps this may be a good thing to try. Very simple, painless, and no hurting can result with a good hug, as compares to a long, passionate kiss. SO HUG GIRL!