whats the best way to win a guy back

[lookin4answers]

i split up with my BF a few days back and its been hell without him
it was going really perfect and although we have a few dissagreements here n there .. things were cool (been together just under 2 years)
he was over my place telling me how wonderful i am and how much he loves me and is gonna stand by me 4eva n he was hugging me and kissing me and generally being all over me.

the next day we had a smal row which turned big coz i didnt jsut shut up and i kept on and on at him when i shoulda shut up. he flipped... the arguemt got bigger .. i went hysterical crying and screaming and trying to stop him from leaving when we wanted to go and then stood in front of his car to try and stop him from driving home and he crashed into a tree.

next day he said that we are over and he doesnt want any contact and to leave him alone coz im a psyco and i need councelling for that hysterical needy behaviour.

i want him back so much and i miss him so much but i havent contacted him since the day after the row... its been over 36 hours now and i havent contacted him at all and he hasnt contacted me. i havent slept or eatne properly since he left.

what do u think is the best way forward from here... shall i give it some more no contact and make him miss me. ive tried all the sorry and telling him i love him and want him back but it didnt work so im scared of keep pushing at that in case i push him away.,

i know he lovs me still but i think i have just scared him big time. he seems pretty adamant that he doesnt want me... but i really dont want to lose him and throw the whole relationship in the bin .. especially as he been like a father to my 3 year old daughter (he is only 20 by the way and im 24)

PLEASE HELP

[vashti]

Ugh. You are someone's MOTHER and acting like this? Personally, I think you should let him go. He is too young to be playing "daddy", and you need to grow up, which will probably happen faster without males around to distract you. Focus on your kid instead, like you SHOULD be doing.

Sorry if I sound harsh. Sometimes we all need it. Good luck.

[The Great OV!!!]

i went hysterical crying and screaming and trying to stop him from leaving when we wanted to go and then stood in front of his car to try and stop him from driving home and he crashed into a tree.

WTF! What kind of car was it?


and...what the hell is a row? besides like row of people for example.

Anyways, you are cRaZy! and they say women mature faster? BULL SHIT! you crashed his car! ....look for someone new and try not to crash their car...cause I don't think there is anything left for you here. He probably thinks you are nuts(which you are)

[The Great OV!!!]

He is too young to be playing "daddy"

He seems more mature to me then her.

[Rob26]

Once a relationship gets to this point, it's over. Reheated ones just don't work. Also, really, at 20, he's not what you need. You need a guy about 35 who's willing to be a husband and father to your child. I'd start looking elsewhere.

[The Great OV!!!]

You need a guy about 35

35? She is 24 man. come on.

[Rob26]

I know but most guys under 30 just aren't ready or willing to take on that responsibility -- myself included.

[djprezes]

You need oldest men i think, oldest are better :-) take me

[lookin4answers]

wel thanks for helpin me with some ideas of how to get him back. (detect the sarcasm)
look you really dont know the full story.. if i had told u full story i wuda been there all day typing and no1 woulda read such a long message


at the end of the day... its mainly brilliant between us.... my daughter adores him no matter how younge he is and he has been like a dad to her for nearly 2 years and i dont want her to lose him as well as me.... i want to fight to keep what was so amazin. she keeps askin mw when he will be over and when can we c him and last night she eve n said "*** doesnt love me any more" that ws so horrible. we both miss him so much.

yes i know i acted to needy and depserate and shouldnt have got hysterical but im doign what i can to correct that.
i havent touched a drop of alcohol since vallentines where b4 i would drink a couple of times a week. i am on the list to see a councellor and i am doing what i can to sort myself out in every way. also i am selling a couple of my most treasured possesions to pay for most of the damage to his car.

we havent had any contact for 5 days now.. ive been so strong and not contacted him when inside im dying and cant sleep or eat.. i miss him so much and i just want him 2 come and hold me n tell me that everything with be ok. this is the longest that we have ever gone without contact and i dont want to break the contact if its doing him good.

please stop tellin me im immature and he's to younge becuawe i know i acted immature and hysterical and beleive me i feel awful and would nevr allow it to happen again. he is younge but he is very mature for his age and he has never once complaind or moaned about being with someone who has a child... in fact he has been so lovely and always made sure that we are ok and got everything we need and taken us out.... he ENJOYS it.

i know i have f***ed things up .... but pleaes pleaes tell me the best moves i can make to win him back... shall i just not contact him at all or should i wait another week or so and then get it touch with him and ask if he wants to meet up 2 catch up.. jsut be cool about it and not push him 2 be with me or anything.
was thinkin about it a week and few dys time .. to mail him at work to tell him i have put the money in his account for the damage to his car and would he liek to meet up n catch up and also my daughter misses him and she would really like to see him. do u think it may work or seriously do u rekon it wont ever happen again after this?

[The Great OV!!!]

You have to some how let him know that you really are sorry and not just saying it. That is going to be tough though...

[vashti]

Giving up the alcohol for good would go a long way to convince me.

However, I still think he is too young for this responsibility, and I don't care how mature you think he is. I'm sure he means well, but he is missing out on normal parts of adult development by tying himself up with you. He is very likely gonna regret giving up his young and carefree days at some point in the not too distant future. I hope for your kid's sake I am wrong.

[anachronistic]

Giving up the alcohol for good would go a long way to convince me.

However, I still think he is too young for this responsibility, and I don't care how mature you think he is. I'm sure he means well, but he is missing out on normal parts of adult development by tying himself up with you. He is very likely gonna regret giving up his young and carefree days at some point in the not too distant future. I hope for your kid's sake I am wrong.

Yea, I often feel like I spent too much time trying to get with girls and such. It is still good to experience love, at that age, though.

[vashti]

There is nothing wrong with trying to "get with girls" lilwing - just leave the mommas for men who are ready for that kind of responsibility. For the most part, 20 year olds just really aren't (although I suppose a few could rise to the occassion). That doesn't mean they are bad guys...

[Junket]

This woman sounds very immature.

Sounds like another one of those people that feed off the drama of on and off relationships. They create conflict during the relationship to the point the other party (or even themselves) becomes overwhelmed and dramatically breaks up with them. Then they cry, cry about much they "really" loved and cared for them looking to be dramatically reunited once again. Feeding off the emotional roller coaster like a teenager.

[lookin4answers]

This woman sounds very immature.

Sounds like another one of those people that feed off the drama of on and off relationships. They create conflict during the relationship to the point the other party (or even themselves) becomes overwhelmed and dramatically breaks up with them. Then they cry, cry about much they "really" loved and cared for them looking to be dramatically reunited once again. Feeding off the emotional roller coaster like a teenager.

you are so f-ing wrong its unreal. as i said.. i havent explained the full story at all. but drama and conflict if the last thing i want or need. i never ever set out to create conflict at all and once i realise it may be starting i do my best to try and sort it out. lots of times the reason it doesnt get sortd it coz once he is slightyl angry then thats that and no amount of me saying "please lets make up, im sorry for my part in that argument" will do anything.
jsut this time i wanted him to understand me and listen to me so much coz what i was saying wsa so important to me.
but becuase he knew he may not like what i was going to say he kept turning up the car stereo to drown me out. i feel he did overreact a little. he coulda just said "im really not in the mood to talk about this today, can we talk anoter time" but he didnt .. he immediatly got the arse n then started turning the stereo up.... it was then that it escalated as i kept trying to turn the stero back down and pleadin with him to let me jsut finish what i was saying and understand me... it wsa then that he flipped.
do u think i would ever create anything purously that woudlt drive him away... he's the love of my life.
i guess u r entitled 2 your opinion and you dont know the ful lstories but ...
that judgement was very wrong.
if 2 ppl wanna b 2getha then f**k how old they are and if kids are involved.. if both parties are kool with it from the start then whats the bother.
he has never complained once in 2 years about it... and he still gets his freedom to go out to bars and clubs with his mates. he gets the best of both worlds.