Question on Making the First Move, Please Read !

[EstoyPensando]

This is probably going to be a long post, and I would really appreciate it if you guys could take the time to read it and help me out. Anyways, I am an 18 year old male hispanic college student. I was born in Mexico and my parents are both from Colombia. I attend a college in Ohio and my major is Molecular Genetics. I plan to go to medical school after I graduate. Well, that is my background information, now on to the subject of this post. I met a girl in one of my laboratory classes about 4 weeks ago. We were in the same lab group. I usually playfully teased her, and for the most part our whole group enjoyed it an she laughed as well. It usually involved me being a clown in lab and/or me playfully criticizing her. I got the impression that some of my teasing was a bit over the limit, so a week ago (this lab is once a week unfortunately ) I apologized for this, and she admitted that most of the time she laughed because she enjoyed it and generally accepted my apology. She is hispanic as well, and wants to become a physician also, this is partly why I am attracted towards her. After the apology, we talked briefly in Spanish during lab (so nobody could understand :-) )and I got to know more about her. Her parents are doctors, like mine, and they are from Colombia as well. This is pretty rare in a place as boring as Ohio, and I find that these are pretty cool similatrities. Unfortunately we switched lab groups, so I don't sit next to her anymore, but the lab is small so I can go talk to her. After lab that week, I kinda ( we got let out of lab early, so I said I was going to study for a chemistry quiz in the library, she decided to come with me, I didn't technically invite her). We talked more about ourselves, and stuff. She told me that her grandma is dying so she was going was going to go to visit her most of the weekend (so I didn't make a move, not that I would have anyways). I told her that my grandma lives with us ( I live on campus, but my house is only 20 minutes away by car) and she cooks traditional latin/Colombian cuisine. She responded by saying twice, that she would really like to visit and eat some good food ( she sounded serious, but I don't know :-( ). She is also a member of a hispanic co-ed fraternity, and suggested that I join it next quarter. Anyways, at the library we studied, we both worked on problems and then went over them. We helped each other out by finding mistakes etc. This was for about an hour and in the library we couldn't really talk much so I felt I was being boring, blah. After we studied, we went to our classes talked a bit more about ourselves then said goodbye. The next day I saw her in Chemistry lecture (about 300 people in it), but she was with another guy talking, so I didn't say anything at all to her.
I want to make a move but here are what I think are the problems (please correct me if i am wrong, that is the point of this long ass post :-) ) I don't know her that well, and I fell if ask her to come to my house, or go to a movie etc. it would be too fast/soon. Also, at the beginning I teased her a lot, now I am being serious and trying to start a relationship, is this a problem ? I don't think she has a boyfriend because I have never heard her mention it at all, but I don't want to ask her and then find out she is seeing someone. She likes to write poetry and dance. I don't like writing poetry, but I don't mind reading it either. I don't know how to dance, but I'd like to learn. Finally, I have doubts as to wheter she really wants to visit my house etc., but then I question myself, if she really didn't mean it, then why would she suggest it TWICE?

Any suggestions on what I should say/do would be highly appreciated. If you take time to read all this about a stranger, and comment with some nice suggestions ideas, I will be forever in your debt :-).

[IceQueen]

I don't know her that well, and I fell if ask her to come to my house, or go to a movie etc. it would be too fast/soon.

Hello? She was hinting right and left that if you ever invite her anywhere any time, she'd go! She even said that if she ever declines on a weekend, it's for a legitimate reason. The girl follows you around the campus like a puppy. She practically invited herself over to your grandmother's house!

Also, at the beginning I teased her a lot, now I am being serious and trying to start a relationship, is this a problem ?

HELL, no. You showed that you were interested, that's all, and I'm 100% sure she realizes that. (Unlesss she is severely retarded, which she is not.)

I don't think she has a boyfriend because I have never heard her mention it at all, but I don't want to ask her and then find out she is seeing someone.

I think the way you're going she'll get a boyfriend, get married, have kids, grow old and die, before you ask her out!

Look, man. Those all just seem like excuses created so that you wouldn't seem like a complete pussy. Go ahead and ASK HER OUT.
As a matter of fact, call her TOMORROW and say, "Hey, <name>, what are you doing for Valentine's day?" She'll say "Nothing. Visiting my grandmother." And you'll say, "Well, how about, when you get back, I'll take you out for dinner." And she'll smile.

And we all know how that ends.

[EstoyPensando]

We'll here are a few things I left out, her grandmother lives about 2 hours away, so I really can't get a hold of her until monday when I see her in chemistry. I am definitly going to ask her out for next weekend, and to see if she would like to study with me etc. I don't want to let this opportunity pass by. Anyways, last thing, she told one of her male friends that I apologized for teasing. I found out about this because he is my roomate. He has a girlfriend so I'm a little less worried, but I feel that this could be positive or negative. She either thought it was cute etc. or thought I made an idiot of out myself. Your thoughts ?

[IceQueen]

Pussy.

What's that STUDYING. You ask her OUT.

[jane]

Originally posted by IceQueen
Pussy.

What's that STUDYING. You ask her OUT.

EXACTLY!! Ask her...

[EstoyPensando]

I am asking her out on Monday !!! No backing down now. I was thinking of asking her if she wanted to have dinner with me next weekend. Also, I was going to ask her in Spanish . What do you guys think ? Btw, I'll keep this updated.

[jane]

Does she speak spanish? I missed that.. I think that would be cool.. you should. Let me know how it goes .. keep us posted!

[EstoyPensando]

Yeah she speaks Spanish, anyway thanks for the support guys.

[Nice Lover Boy]

*driving around and finds a good place to park*
Ahh yess.....I think I hit a good thread to read. Hey Mr. "I am thinkin" (that's what it says on your name in spanish).
Yeh dude, don't get scared. It sounds like you really like this girl. By now, you should be getting a legit response from her about your pre-date. Asking her in spanish means being real. Talking in spanish around peeps that don't understand spanish is putting yourselves in a sacret place where you and her can only be identified. Smart. But, who knows how your response went. Hopefully rather well. And if she is seing someone or has a boyfriend, you are still in her mind because the way she invites herself and likes being around you lets us know that she thinks about you. Trust me hermano, eso me pasa a mi mucha veces y unas no mas son mis amigas, pero asi es la vida.
Good luck man, gives us the 411.

[MVPlaya]

Ehhh... asking out is just asking out, you're not proposing, you don't need to get on one knee, excessive style or flair is not a must and is occasionally a must-not. Just ask her out in a comfortable fashion.

[Nice Lover Boy]

Originally posted by MVPlaya
Ehhh... asking out is just asking out, you're not proposing, you don't need to get on one knee, excessive style or flair is not a must and is occasionally a must-not. Just ask her out in a comfortable fashion.

I agree man, just stay chill.

[EstoyPensando]

Well, I have some updates. Monday I only saw her for about 1 minute, since our chem lab was excruciatingly long. Today, we talked a lot and she flirted with me some, heh. It turns out she is really busy this weekend, but she said she might be able to squeeze something in, Sunday night. I'm going to talk to her more about it tommorow in class to see if we can work something out timewise, but so far so good. She isn't seeing anybody at the moment, and that guy I saw her with in chemistry class is actually one of her best friends, and he's gay. So no worries there. I'll keep you guys posted, thanks for the support, I appreciate it.

[sfalexi]

Just try not to look too desperate that she squeeze you in on Sunday. If she just "can't manage" to squeeze you in, just act as though it wasn't that big a deal. "No biggie. What's your number? I'll call you next week and we'll try again."

I say this not really to 'play games', but because any hint of desperation could be a bad thing. Until you guys are dating for a while, there's no reason to be 'hurt' or 'annoyed' that she can't fit you in her schedule. Right now you're not a priority so just be wary in case that happens.

Alexi

[Nice Lover Boy]

Dude, no worries, everything is gonna come out ok.

[Innova]

I mad a first move yesterday, so far its working out.