Im about to give up...help

[stevo032]

Ok so theres this girl Ive known for 3 or so years.
When we met, we had no interest in eachother as more than friends.
After a year or so, she would hint that she liked and eventually loved me.
I was not ready for a relationship at the time, i was still...finding myself i guess. She later told me that I had broke her heart. But after that she had to move away.. sometime about 1 year ago, and at that point we lost communication.

About 3 months ago, she called me and we would talk for hours at a time...
She started calling me her husband, and she would talk about our plans of marriage... so i figured she liked me...But after 2 weeks of talking, I was desperate for her. I would constantly carry my cell phone, waiting for her call, even if we had just hung up minutes before. I constantly had her on my mind. I took things slow, and eventually i told her i liked her. She said it was cute and teased me about it. It hurt but w/e. The next day, she got a boyfriend.

At this point I was extremely confused. I hoped it was just another fling or something. But eventually i told her that I loved her. Like more than anything in the world and all that. She promptly replied that I couldnt like her more than a friend, because she was in love... with her bf...

So i backed off.
Weeks went by and she invited me to come visit her house 3 hours away.
I didnt hesitate, of course I went.
At first it was semi akward, but in no time she and I were flirting like crazy. Playing little play fight games with our hands, and hugging for 10 minutes at a time. I was in heaven.
I instantly fell for her again. On the drive home i was completely love struck, and I was happy for the first time in weeks.

She called me the next day. I thought she liked me back or something... but in mid conversation she started talking about how great her boyfriend was and all that stuff. I didnt even know what to think at this point...

Currently I am confused, disoriented, depressed, and my heart is burning.

What the hell am i supposed to do?
I dont want to be in love with her if she isnt going to love me back... but she keeps leading me on and shes really messing with my head.

Im trying to keep myself away from her so I can be less.... pathetic about this whole situation, but I dont want to love anybody else. I dont want to forget about her.

Im so confused and idk whats going on.

btw this is my first LOVE can you tell?

any help would be nice

[clynn]

Sounds like she is loving the attention that you are giving her.

Perhaps she likes the fact that the tables are turned now, and that you like her more than she likes you........

I would not allow her to play with your feelings like this.

Well, actually, I probably would - because I'm a sucker.

But you shouldn't - because you've asked our advice!

[stevo032]

All i want is for her to love me. I want the ultimate advice that is failproof. I don't want to just forget about her. Because, I feel like i still have a chance... probably because of the way she leads me on....

But ah love is the craziest roller coaster... =\

[Journey]

I've written poetry, painted, flowers .. you name it. It doesnt matter how old you are .. its your first love so its young love.

I'm not an expert like most of the replies you'll get here.. but I've been in love a few times. It really is cat and mouse. If you retreat like a mouse she'll come around. That retreat.. hiding.."little buddha down time" as I kind of like to think of it as, will get her to respect you again. She can't respect a guy that kisses her feet like a little puppy dog. I think you may have smothered her too much. I fell in the same trap... yes I did.

Be a challenge. Do not ever call her. If she calls you, return her calls but make them short.. very short. You are busy. Busy guys have things to do .. people to see.. thats attractive.

As you vanish off the face of the earth she will be with that other guy.. and beleive me he's not all that. There will be problems that pop up.. And there you'll be in the background.. and on her mind ..MAYBE. Anyways it doesn't matter because if she ever comes around.. you'll say your'e with your new girlfriend. Think about it.. thats what she said to you. And you RESPECT her more for it. You find her more attractive..

I know its hard.. but retreat. Rent "7 years in Tibet" and chill for a while. You have alot to offer.

[luvyun]

you seem like a good guy and probably have more to offer than she’ll ever need, but I would have to burst the bubble by saying, she was in for the attention and chase.

And probably that’s all to it.

She wants you to be jealous by telling you all the stuff on her r/s, which simply leave you hanging and eventually breaks your heart. It’s the same as giving a kid candies and taking them away again & again.

You’ll definitely do better without her but if you really wanna stick around, at least set a time period you are willing to wait, and if she's not yours by then, move on in life and forget about her.

[Gigabitch]

Failproof? Cut her off and find someone who has a kind and loving heart. This isn't just your first love, it's your first heartbreak. it's supposed to suck, but it's also supposed to END.

Let it end.

[stevo032]

Clynn: You are probably right.... but I too, am a sucker.

Journey: I feel good about that. I am gonna start trying that thanks

Luvyun: No she isnt that type of person who would just mess with people for giggles i think she is unconsciously doing it. But I did set a date to quit good idea.

Gigabitch: Im gonna try this out for another month but she has the most loving heart, but she can be a little ignorant at times, and hurt people... without the intention.

Thanks for all that replied

I can still use more advice if you think I need it.

[michaelmorgan]

Well indeed you've got two choices. Try to switch back the tables and let her chase you...she might have a boyfriend, but i don't think she would feel comfortable to let him know that some guy visited her today and they did this and that....As you are completely in love with her, it will be completely difficult to take back your power.
She is enjoying this as much as you are not.
Driving 3 hours to see her was a complete sign that you had strong feelings for her.
When she will drive to see you, it will tell you some things changed. Anyway, she is really enjoying this.

[stevo032]

Yeah I turned the tables, and shes already back wanting me
its great, but at the same time disappointing, because i know now that our relationship could never work if we have to keep playing these little cat and mice games....



Yeah aw well i guess ill just have fun with it...?