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Thread: Girlfriend giving me mixed signals! HELP PLEASE!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1

    Girlfriend giving me mixed signals! HELP PLEASE!

    Hey everyone, this is my first post on here. Just gonna give you some background information about my life so you can tell me what you think.

    3 years ago I met my ex in high school. We hit it off perfect, and eventually started dating. We went on together and eventually both of us fell in love. We did everything together the next couple of years. After about two years her mother decided that she wanted to move in with her boyfriend, who lived 45 minutes away. We had just got done graduating, so it really wasn't a problem schoolwise. Me and her talked about if she was going to or not, and we both decided that we couldn't be that far away from each other. We decided that for the time being, we could move in together at my Dad's house until we got money for our own place. We did so and for the first couple of months it was perfect. After awhile, she slowly started getting frustrated because of the stress of college, living in a small place, etc. I just let it pass, because there really was nothing i could do about it right now. I had no clue things were as bad as they were, and one Friday night after living together for 7 months she came in and told me that basically she wanted a break and didn't know what she wanted anymore. After doing the whole begging and pleading thing, I finally let her go. One of her best friends told me that the main reason why she left was because I was being to controlling. We talked about what she meant by that, and I finally figured out it was because I wouldn't let her go spend the night with her friends whenever she wanted to, and let her stay out all night. I don't think she realized that we actually LIVED together, and you can't just run out and spend the night with whoever whenever you want anymore. But anyways on with the story.

    For the first few days after I heard from her friends that she was enjoying being single and that she was flirting with other guys. I tried calling her and texting her but all I normally got was leave me alone, I need my space and time to think. A week later, I began slowly to try to stop texting and calling and giving her space. I found out that she had messed around with some other guy, I don't know exactly what happened, just that they did stuff. She came over at my house one day to get some stuff and she had a picture of him and her on her phone as the background. I was very upset. I basically stopped talking to her after that for about 3 days. Then I got text messages from her best friend. She told me that my ex had enjoyed the flowers that I had previously bought to be sent to her before I found out she was messing around with this guy, and that she had took a picture of the flowers and replaced it on the background of her phone and took his and her picture off. I didn't know what to think. We talked online some after, but nothing major just a few words here and there. Then one day in the middle of class, she texts me and asks me if I am feeling any better. I reply by telling her yes, and I realize that she needs her space so I'm going to give it to her. She then tells me that I have given her enough space, and that she wants to talk to me every once and awhile. I had no clue what to think. The day after me and a friend got a tattoo, and I told her best friend that I did. She texted again last night asking about my tattoo and said she wanted to see it. I asked where she was so I could just ride by and show her, but she told me she will just come over the next day and see it. So, the next day comes and sure enough she texts me again and tells me she is on her way and that she is bringing us lunch. We ate, and talked. She ended up staying here for like an hour and a half. Now the complicated part.

    Our relationship was very intimate. We did everything together, A LOT. When she came over I wanted to tell her I love her so bad. I wanted to do things with her like lovers do, but I knew I couldn't. She left before I brought anything up about it. I then decided to text her and tell her my feelings. I asked if she wanted to do things with me, and not exactly sex, but anything. She said ok. I was in total shock. I don't know what to think. Thats the point where we are at now. I have also been hearing from her friends that the guy she was talking to and her barely even talk anymore, maybe on the phone every once and awhile. I don't know what to think. I don't think she knows what she wants. I have asked her plenty of times if there is a chance of us getting back together anytime, and she has said she doesn't know, but she knows that there is still a chance sometime later. I love this girl with all my heart still, and would give anything to be with her forever. She is the girl of my dreams, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. What is going on? Please help!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    18
    this is just an idea, but maybe everything went too fast for her. You guys were together for a while, but people are different.

    Also..you did say that you were semi-controlling. You did live together, but she's still young, right? So obviously she still wants to have her fun. I mean you aren't married so if she wants to stay with friends it isn't a huge deal. Had her parents moved away would you have moved in together so fast? Probably not right? Maybe she misses you and wants you back, but maybe she's afraid everything is going to go back to how it was. She likes her freedom and space because she's still young...I think you just need to be understanding about that, especially if you guys do get back together...

    I think that's all it was...she just wanted her space and isn't/wasn't ready to be so serious. ie moving in with her boyfriend ...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    26
    Damn dude that sucks. If she says she needs space then the next couple of days ****s around with someone else. Might guess is she had something against you. She probably just said she needs time and space as a nice way to break off.

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