Friends with Benefits

[Gigabitch]

This does not work. Men like to think it does, but women always get entangled, always want more.

Discuss....

[vashti]

Maybe true, but I know several women my age who wouldn't mind trying the FWB arrangement because they aren't interested in marriage or family-building anymore.

[Gribble]

I need to meet these women, dammit. Where are they?

[vashti]

You need to find a career-woman who travels a lot.

[The Great OV!!!]

This does not work. Men like to think it does, but women always get entangled, always want more.

Discuss....

I wouldn't know more on the subject so will you take a "I guess"?

[Gigabitch]

I had a pretty involved discussion with my bf about this last night- he's had a couple of these fwb things and did finally admit that both of these women would have been involved with him much more seriously if they'd had their way. They were taking what they could get, hoping it would turn into more.

I'm just hoping someone out there can provide me of an example of an fwb thing that actually worked out for the woman.

Vashti- have any of your friends actually done this?

[anachronistic]

I am by no means trying to trash your thread, but since we're on subject...

My ex and I are kind of friends with benefits. Not officially or anything, but she keeps trying to get into my pants. I think it's because she wants me to suffer and go through all this pain so I'll keep trying to be with her even though her parents won't let her.

I went through the whole "just wanting to **** and nothing else" feeling, and I'm back to my usual, want kids and wife self.

[vashti]

Vashti- have any of your friends actually done this?

I only know one woman who has (successfully) done this, and she is defintely atypical. She doesn't even feel guilty afterwards. A few friends said they would like to try this, but ... (insert excuse). If I were single, I might try this.

[Gribble]

Let me know if/when you are...

[weirdy]

I don't think that women always WANT more...it's more likely that they HOPE that the relationship will evolve into something deeper, even if they want only a casual thing (speaking from my friends' and my own experience).

[Gigabitch]

My ex and I are kind of friends with benefits. Not officially or anything, but she keeps trying to get into my pants.

You trollop, you!

[misombra]

i've never seen a friends with benefits situation work out for anyone i've ever known. i think it sounds like a good idea but women get way too caught up.

[Gigabitch]

Remember that thing Vashti posted once about how guys screw with their dicks and girls screw with their hearts?

I thought that was so profound...

[clynn]

I agree, that is mainly the case.

However, we are all built differently and some women I know can handle the sex for sex sake much better.

One friend in particular has had a number of friends with benefits. She was a single mom, wanted her needs met, but not interested in a serious relationship as she was out of a nasty marriage/divorce. In some of these cases, she wanted more than the men, and in other cases, the men wanted more than she.

however, in all of the cases, she was extremely pragmatic.

And I have a couple of other girlfriends who are just crazy sex addicts.

For myself, personally, it could never work. If I like them enough to have sex with them, then I want them to be my boyfriend.

I have a coworker girlfriend who really wants a friend with benefits. She's found the men aren't actually up for it!

[elNatural]

FWBs only work if it stays phsycial and unromantic. With this understood yes it can work. I am in a FWB relationship right now, its great, we are strictly friends and neither of us are looking for a relationship but we both like havin sex. My first partner turned into a FWB instead of bein a one night stand too. It all depends on peoples self discipline and how mature they are. The people that end up wanting more are the ones that went into the FWB with the possiblity of wanting to have a relationship. I cannot explain how important it is to know what you want for yourself at the time of having FWB friendships.