Screw it

[Charlie Boy]

I'd much rather live with anxiety and guilt - and even have a nation of people gobbling meds for it - than to live in cultures where kids as young as five or six are doing heavy manual labour or who are married off to men twice their ages or more when they've barely hit puberty.

**** you're obtuse. My point isn't that people in poor countries have a preferable existence, it's that: WE SHOULDN'T HAVE NATIONS OF RICH PEOPLE GOBBLING MEDS IT'S UNNECESSARY AND IT'S A DIRECT RESULT OF A SOCIETY THAT PROMOTES SELF-OBSESSION AND THE "RIGHT" TO BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME. SELF-OBSESSION REMOVES PERSPECTIVE AND WITHOUT PERSPECTIVE PEOPLE BECOME DEEPLY UNHAPPY AS A RESULT OF RELATIVELY INSIGNIFICANT PROBLEMS. THEY HAVE NO COPING MECHANISMS.

"Someone somewhere's got it worse than me" has never helped me and most likely never will. Even in our developed country, people with AIDS or cancer or on the welfare line have it worse than me. People from all economic classes within this nation could be diagnosed as clinically depressed. If we held people from underdeveloped nations to the same ruler, they'd have a shitload of pedophiles, battered wives, and severely depressed individuals, as I can't see anything more depressing than barely fruitful, backbreaking labour for the rest of my short-lived days.

THAT'S MY POINT - LOOK AT THE SUFFERING IN THESE PEOPLE'S LIVES BUT THEY GET THROUGH. THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT AND MORE SOPHISTICATED VIEW OF SUFFERING. DON'T BELIEVE ME? COMPARE THE SUICIDE RATES OF AFRICA AND AMERICA AND AUSTRALIA.

What people are doing elsewhere has absolutely no bearing on me. The key isn't to think of how bad others have it; it's to prioritise and not put so much stock on relationships. Our culture puts so much emphasis on the nuclear family, getting married, wife and kids - I doubt much of the population ever even stops to consider if that's really what they want, or if that's just what they're told to want. People don't think of themselves enough, basically. Not in a selfish, "I want what I want when I want it" kind of way, but in a healthy "what do I need and want in life?" way

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, HAPPINESS DOESN'T ARISE OUT OF A SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES OR RELATIONSHIPS. MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE UNHAPPY WHETHER THEY WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP HAD A FAMILY, HAD MULITPLE REGULAR SEX PARTNERS, WERE CLEIBATE. TRUE, SUSTAINABLE HAPPINESS ARISES OUT OF A MINDSET;

[Glyph]

Speaking of meds. Learn to voice your discourse sanely, thanks.

THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT AND MORE SOPHISTICATED VIEW OF SUFFERING. DON'T BELIEVE ME? COMPARE THE SUICIDE RATES OF AFRICA AND AMERICA AND AUSTRALIA.

Oh, come off it. Jesus Christ, "more sophisticated"? They don't know any better. And seriously, how the **** DID these even veer off onto third-world bullshit? It has ****-all to do with anything. Okay, so third-world citizens are not depressed or anxious. They're: dying of AIDS, old at the age of 30, etc etc etc. You're speaking about "perspective" - I'm afraid you're not being clear, really, because what I've read so far is how we need to take the "underdeveloped nation's" view of suffering. Well, no, we don't. We've got our own problems. They're relative to our situations.

Sorry, but the implications of this:

I was talking about people in the developed world, obviously. Life for the world's poor is horiffic. For them real suffering is part of day to day life - a basic fact of existence. For the rich, suffering - any suffering - stings like an injustice. The less suffering people have in their lives the less they're able to endure. If humans could live with privilige and comfort but hold on to the perspective of the poor....

. . . is, "Shut up. Poor people have it bad." The issue isn't that people don't HAVE enough suffering, and therefore can't take it when such a situation arises. The issue is that people CREATE suffering for themselves by not learning to be happy without a relationship.

Don't snap at me because I draw a logical conclusion from your totally off-topic post about the third-****ing-world and you don't like what was derived from it. Different countries, different priorities, different altogether.

[Charlie Boy]

You're right. We have nothing to learn from the third world and their attitude to suffering - The way they, or anyone in the midst of intense suffering, can find joy and happiness and love in the midst of so much pain. They just "don't know any better". Different countries, different priorities.

[Glyph]

Because the first-world is absolutely devoid of joy and happiness, even amongst those who inhale meds like candy. There are absolutely no elderly married couples still as in love today as the first day they said. There are no tearful reunions or birthdays or anniversaries or first Christmasses or anything like that.

When we marry, it's an event centered (most often) around love and family. I doubt arranged marriages are the same out in Bum**** Zimbabwe. When we have babies, we plan college funds and baby showers. I doubt the same thing happens in nations where couples are apt to start crying because they had a useless girl rather than a boy capable of work.

Sorry if I have a hard time believing that I should glean any life lessons from a culture where a rite of passage isn't so much a birthday party with balloons, but rather genital mutilation or something equally as degrading or dangerous. They've my sympathy for their daily hardships, but I certainly don't derive any moral inspiration from them. Poverty aside, many of them adhere to archaic rituals, traditions, and social mores that add more pain than is necessary.

[Gribble]

Oh come off your high horse, Charlie, you passive aggressive turd.

[stevo032]

Everyone shut up

This is Loveforum.net!

not Rantbecauseyouhadabaddayforum.net!

<3

[Gigabitch]

Hey! I was really enjoying the ranting! Ranting is an art form.

I like that Charlie is willing to tenaciously hold onto it even if he's dead ****ing wrong. I like that Glyph doesn't lose her shit even when someone is YELLING at her.

And Gribble, I think I'm getting an e-crush on you.

[speaktoafriend]

On to this guy's complaint, I don't disagree with his plan. I'd advise anyone to focus on themselves and what they can do to make their lives more stable, productive and happy in their own right. Only when you have a solid, strong foundation in yourself can you build any real relationship atop it.

Not to be trite, but men and women are attracted to confidence, stability, a person who's generally happy, etc. Who honestly wants to date someone who is insecure, or constantly depressed, or who has skewed priorities? Take care of yourself and your life, and you'll be surprised who notices your progress.

Agree with Glyph
What goes around comes around, your world is what you make of it. If you have goals set for youself then focus on that right now, along the way when the time is right the relationship thing will find its way in your life.

[Gribble]

And Gribble, I think I'm getting an e-crush on you.

Does this mean we get to have a raunchy e-affair behind your BF's back?

[Charlie Boy]

Dead wrong!? Dead wrong my filthy anus!! I just couldn't be bothered arguing anymore with that ignorant, ring-wormed feline. What I'm saying is a universal truth:

1) Western society promotes self-obsession. Self-obsession leads to depression because it removes perspective. Perspective is an essential part of our coping mechanisms when faced with tragedy and misfortune.

2) True, sustainable happiness demands an acceptance of suffering as a fundamental part of life. Because they are faced with so much suffering, many in the developing world come to that acceptance very early in the peice. Many in Western society never do, which is why even a small amount of suffering causes them so much anguish.

Because these these are universal, self-evident truths I will not expend any more energy arguing them. This is my last post in this thread.

[Gigabitch]

Does this mean we get to have a raunchy e-affair behind your BF's back?

No, I'm a compulsive confessor. We'll have to do it out in the open.

[Gribble]

"We'll have to do it out in the open."

Kinky.

[CAM]

I have basically come to a point of saying the hell with dating and just remain single and work on becoming successful in the business word. Because that seems to be the only thing really going for me anyway, and it is something I can actually become good at. Unlike dating, which doesn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon or in the future.

Yes I have asked girls out and got rejected. Yes I have talked to girls only to find out they are taken or are single moms. Or I try to talk to girls and something comes up to stop it from happening. I know I am young, but it seems no matter what I do nothing seems to work, so screw it. It is most probably better for me to focus my attention to things that actually work out or can work out for me, like business stuff.

I know the feeling. But, while I've been waiting for Ms. Right (I'm now 38)...I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. So, buck up buddy...whether she comes along or not, sounds to me like you are on the road to success!

I think what you are describing is very common today. It has nothing to do with you. Best thing is to live your life, be a success, and if she comes along..great. If not, you've still done a heck of a lot of good.

[clynn]

I think that is a really good idea jurupa.

Focus and busy yourself!

[anachronistic]

jurupa-

Manchmal besuchst du eine wirklich nett Fraeuleun. Vashti ist stimmt, wann siehst du keinen stern, schlagst ihn dich auf da hinten. Aber gibt es Zeit.

Macht es beschaeftig und kommt siehst du sie auf dem Augen!

So ein Glueck!