shy guy, where does he stand?

[ves]

I agree. You also don't want to be in the position of having to be the boy all the time.

Well, on Saturday, he called me to ask me out, he invited me back to his apartment, he initiated physical contact, he invited me to spend the night, he asked me when I was off this week, etc. I didn't feel like a boy one bit.

[CAM]

Uh your girl friends are right. No guy will talk to a girl for 4 hours straight if he was not interested.

Well, actually...no guy would even say "hello" if he was not interested...four hours straight and he doesn't make a move...that means he's either gay or a total dolt when it comes to dating.

[AgentWinter]

that means he's either gay or a total dolt when it comes to dating.

Or cautious...

[Only-virgins]

dolt....dolt.....dolt......dolt................... total dolt...I have never heard the word dolt before...dolt....dolt...dolt...kind of addicting to say lol...dolt..lol

[Tired]

Hi everyone, I have a curious situation and I'd be happy for some outside opinions.

I used to work with this guy. We met on the job in fall 2004, got to be good work friends, and he quit about 10 months later. We stayed in contact, meeting up every few months or so. Last February, he called me out of the blue, we went out to dinner and a game place - all of which he paid for, even though I kept offering to split. For a few weekends after that we'd meet up for drinks. He always paid for drinks, except on his birthday when I insisted I was treating him. T hen he left for a month-long job out of state and we didn't see each other until the summer. We went bike riding once, I felt like I said some dumb stuff, and then practically no contact.

His birthday was last weekend, so I called him to say happy birthday. I was actually kind of hoping for voicemail but he picked up, we talked for about 10 minutes and he asked if I was going to be around later. We made plans for him to come over for a glass of wine after he had dessert at his mom's house. He came to my apartment and we talked for 4 hours about all kinds of stuff, serious and funny.

I found out that he had a few casual girlfriends in high school, but no real relationships since then (he's 28 and I'm 26). I haven't had a relationship either. We were talking about old video games and I said jokingly that I'm such a dork for liking them, and he said "No, I love that about you." His friends called and he didn't answer, just turned his phone off. We also talked about how both of us are very independent and like to be alone, so it's hard for either of us to initiate social activities. When I was saying how I was going to be alone forever and have 100 cats, he rubbed my foot (I was sitting sideways on the couch) and said jokingly, "Nah, maybe only 50." He knows I lost about 45lbs since I last saw him and said I look great. He left around 3am and we hugged goodbye.

So (are you still with me? lol), I am a little confused, especially the way he keeps coming in and out of my life. I don't want to make excuses, but all my friends tell me there's no way a guy would talk to a girl for 4 hours if he wasn't interested in her. I tend to think we're both really shy about taking things past friendship. Am I reading things wrong? Thanks for all your help!

you sound similar to me, except i'm a guy....

I definetly thinks he has feelings for you if he sits around and talks to you for 4 hours, I sure wouldn't spend that much time with someone I had no interest or attraction to.

[ves]

Kids, I appreciate the continued input, but my situation has resolved itself :

He took me out to dinner Saturday, and then we went back to his apartment to watch movies. We were sitting under a blanket because I was cold, and after a while he adjusted his sitting position and then put his hand on my thigh. We kind of cuddled for a while, and when the last movie ended he asked if I wanted to stay, or he could take me home. I said, "I'll stay, but only if we do more than your hand on my thigh."

So, we made out for a while and cuddled. I stayed the night but we didn't sleep together (takes more than one date, thankyouverymuch). He kissed me goodbye when he drove me home and asked when I was off work this week.

I think that's a pretty clear sign, eh?