don't know what to do...

[jgall15]

Well, I have been dating this girl on and off for about 7 years now...yeah, i know a long time, but there have been some long breaks in there. Before now, neither one of us has wanted to go further because we are both fairly young, but now all she wants and talks about is getting married. I still do not want to, but she is one of the best friends I have ever had and I don't want to lose that, but I still don't want to get married. Any advice?

[bluesummer]

Ah, my friend, I was in your place, and unfortunately this may mean the end of your relationship whether you want that or not. You've been together seven years, so the mentality now is going to become one of 'shit or get off the pot', if you know what I mean. You need to stick by your guns though...if you really don't want to get married, don't. And you need to communicate that to her. Be prepared for her to be upset by that.

I notice you refer to her as a really good friend.......so maybe it's better off if thats ALL that you are. If, after seven years, you still can't see yourself marrying somebody, its a good sign that its time to move on. Sorry.

[vashti]

How old are you?? If you are over the age of maybe 28 or so, it's time to make a decision. You are wasting her time, and there is the issue of the biological clock for women, assuming they eventually want to find someone, build a relationship with them, and eventually have babies.

If you are under 28, don't do it yet. You are too young, regardless of how long you've been seeing her.

[Gribble]

If she's adamant about marriage you need to start thinking of a way to break up with her. Don't marry her for her sake whatever you do. And don't prevent her from having the life she wants by staying with her another 7 years. Some times you just have to cut 'em loose.

[jgall15]

thank you all for your advice. I'm only 22 and she is almost 22, so yes we are young. I guess I just don't want to hurt her because she is such a great friend.

[bluesummer]

thank you all for your advice. I'm only 22 and she is almost 22, so yes we are young. I guess I just don't want to hurt her because she is such a great friend.

Thats funny, thats when my ex and I broke up....at 22......we'd been together five years. We had been together so long, but still had so much we wanted to do before we even thought about marriage, so we just ended it. Best choice I ever made. Hurt like hell, but we're still good friends.

[Glyph]

Lord, 22? Yeah, that's a little young.

Still, if she's bent on marriage and you're not, definitely don't do it. You'll seriously regret it.

[Gigabitch]

Listen to Gribble. Cut her loose. Cut yourself loose.

If the person I was at 22 made an important decision like who to marry, she would not have made a good choice.