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Thread: breaking it off

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    1

    breaking it off

    Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half. We talked about getting married and everything. This is my first serious relationship. We're both 18. I'm in college and shes about to graduate high school and still living with her parents. Our mentalities are very different. She gets mad that I go out with my friends and feel that I choose them over her. They are the type that go to clubs and party but she is not like that so it is hard. She says I don't care about her anymore and don't do things to show that I love her like I did in the beginning of our relationship. I do love her but I have a hard time showing it lately (doing romantic things). Recently I've been craving no-strings sex with other people. Not that I've done anything though. I am a very sexual person and want to explore my sexuality but I can't do that with her. Our sex has never been that great. We would only do it with me or her on top that's it. She refuses to do it from the back because it 'degrades her'. We used to do oral but we don't anymore because she is 'saving it for marriage'. What? We lost our virginity to each other and that's something I want to value. But maybe we're too young or we're not ready for a serious relationship. I feel like breaking it off. Should I start being romantic and hold back my sexual desires to save the relationship?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by high_resolution View Post
    We used to do oral but we don't anymore because she is 'saving it for marriage'.
    WTF that doesn't make any sense at all.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,445
    mmmm......sounds like you are young and wanting to "date around".

    Better to break it off than risk cheating on her and her catching you. That would be bad.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Montreal
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    36
    What do you mean by "holding back your sexual desire"? It seems to me she's open to sex. If you meant having strings-free sex, then IMHO you most certainly should refrain from that. If you meant not exploring new things with her, then that can probably be worked out: there are positions other than on top and from the back, she might be interested in some of them. Just keep it fun and light and make sure she does not feel degraded if that concerns her.

    But the question is, do you want to remain in a relationship with her? It looks to me that you guys are pretty different: I mean she doesn't even want to try different positions and you're craving strings-free sex? There's quite a gap in your approaches to sex there!

    And she gets mad about you going out with friends??? That's not a good sign! She's probably jealous that you meet other girls at clubs, or just simply jealous of your friends, and that's not a healthy reaction. She needs to give you some space, and have some of her own too. Does she have some friends with whom she can hang out? She should. But anyway, you can't stop seeing your friends because of her, nomatter what type of people they are. (I assume here you're not giving your friends way more time than to you gf, but only you can judge that)

    You should take some time to re-assess your relationship, and whether it's really what you've bargained for, or whether it still suits your needs.
    "But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
    I have spread my dreams under your feet,
    Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"
    - WB Yeats

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