Signs of Marrying

[TheKissPolice]

hi,im 24 i know that im a bit young to marry but i dont wanna grow old and dont even experience it,but the thought of divorce and unfaithfullness freaks me out so much,and it makes me think not to marry,i have nobody in my life right now,im just a bit confused at the moment,and i really dont know the good signs of marrying,do you marry for love or security?

[Only-virgins]

You should always marry for money and security...that I heard always works out fine in the end.


LOL

[TheKissPolice]

im a guy by the way.should i also marry for money and security?

[vashti]

In my opinion, you should marry for the purpose of starting a family.

[Converse]

In my opinion, you should marry for the purpose of starting a family.

Why?

I think you should marry for love.

[Gribble]

What's the point of marrying for love? So when you no longer are in love you can be miserable or go through a messy divorce?

[Converse]

Don't get married then.

[Gigabitch]

Just make sure whoever you're marrying wants the same things. People who marry for security can succeed if they both hold up their end of the deal. Personally, I think you need Serious Love to get through marriage, but I've seen people do it who evidence no passion whatsoever.

What's important to you? It sounds like you're really interested in stability and knowing for sure that your partner will be faithful. Best to wait another ten years until a) you've gained some emotional security and b) you're more likely to marry someone grown up enough to be able to commit.

[TheKissPolice]

"It sounds like you're really interested in stability and knowing for sure that your partner will be faithful"- this is really me,you read me thru and thru,i just got out of a forced 4 year relationship and i am thinking do i have to invest another 4 years or so just to know that shes not the one?did i just waste my time on my previous relationship?

[vashti]

Why?

I think you should marry for love.

Are you asking why I think you should marry before starting a family? If so, it's because I think marriage adds stability to the children's lives.

If you are asking why I don't think you should marry (solely) for love, I would say it is because love is often described as a feeling, and feelings are transitory. If you only marry for love, then there is nothing that keeps you committed once the feeling diminishes.

[Only-virgins]

Don't get married then.

exactly.

_______

[Gigabitch]

did i just waste my time on my previous relationship?

Did you learn anything at all?

Of course you did. Then it was, therefore, not a waste of time.

[Only-virgins]

Wait, did he just ask if his relationship was a waste? ...there is not freaking way this is a guy.

[TheKissPolice]

i am a guy,its just that that was my first girlfriend,i was 20 when it begun,im sort of a late bloomer and i believe that i am the lowest level of a guy when it comes to relationship experiences,i have noone to compare her to,ive learned a lot from that relationship(thanks for reminding me giga) i just feel every now and then that i have given her everything and that i have no more of me to give.its been a week and 2 days since we broke up but her memories haunts me every second of the day,maybe its just because i am not working.i tried to be angry and hate her but i couldnt,coz deep inside i felt that it was a fair game,she never cheated on me but she left me for someone.and because of that it makes it harder to forget.