Loving a girl for years and finnally telling her.

[MOCAMBO]

I started liking this girl the first year I moved to this school in Grade 8. Her name was beautiful, it justs flows off your mouth amazing - Jacqueline (Jackie). First day, I fell in love. But we were both in different leagues, but we spoke but not as much as I would have liked to. As years went by we got better and better friends. I am now in Grade 11 and have lover her for almost 4 years now. Last friday, I finally got her alone that night since we were chilling with my friends and I told her. I told her everything, but she didnt say anything. I looked into her bright green eyes and saw they were red. They were about to tear. She then said "I dont know what to say............I never know what to say in these types of situations". Then she said "Things aren't going to change right?" That line just killed me. I just answered with a simple "ye". And we carried on the following night. Since then I have been doing a pretty good job hiding and masking my immense amount of sadness beyond belief. I dont know, you can tell me to move on, but after almost 4 years.......it gets really really difficult. I cant just forget about her, I see her everyday, I talk to her everyday. We hangout almost everyday. I really really really love her, but it seems from when I've spoken to her long before, she says that she doesn't want to get hurt again so she's been laying off the relationships for a while now. I dont know what to do. None of my friends seem to help at all, and just give no good advice at all. I haven't felt happiness in months, even longer. Its a feeling I want to know again. Somebody, help me please. Please

Edit: I forgot to mention how cursed I am to this lol. So she really likes the number 44. And it seems everywhere and everything I do seems to have an number 44 in it. My house number is 3144. I get my math test back and I get 44/50. And the list just keeps going and going. Is it a sign? OR just God playing with my mind and teasing me.

[vashti]

I think it is best to just accept that although she may think you are a nice person, she doesn't feel for you the way you want her to. We can't always get what we want. If you want to get over her, cut contact entirely and completely immerse yourself in other things. You won't get over her over night, but you will eventually notice that it gets easier.

[MOCAMBO]

Well thats the problem, she doesnt want to cut all contacts with me. She still wants me to be there for her when times are down as she says. I would cut things off, but it would hurt her so much more and I really cant do that. I accepted the fact that things will not work and out and frankly I was expecting the worst when I was telling her. But it wasn't. I know that we always dont get things in life, heck I dont remember the last time I have. Thanks for your input .

[Tired]

try to meet other girls, stay occupied, try to avoid this girl......if its not going anywhere and you see her on a regular basis your just gonna keep thinking about her. When you take time apart for a while and stay occupied you simply won't think about her as much.

The first girl i dated, i dated her for 2 1/2 years....i loved her as much as i've ever loved anyone. Eventually we broke up and it was devestating, but she went to another school and we tried to keep talking on the phone to stay friends but it just didn't work out, we couldn't just be friends and it was awkward. It took me years to completely get over her, after a few months I was cool and I wasn't thinking about her 24/7.....but even today, I've seen pics of her and she's kinda let herself go while I've done the opposite, I'm not attracted to her anymore....but even today i still kinda wonder what could've been, what if we never broke up ya kno...

who know's....i deleted her myspace, threw away pics of her, threw away notes and stuff she had given me.

you'll get over it, but it will take time....its not something we can just tell you a magic secret and it all goes away

[Tiay]

oh god, that sucks.. I know it seems impossible to avoid her, but look at this way- she's NEVER going to change her mind, and if you don't truly believe that, you'll spend more years of your life clinging to that hope, and being utterly unhappy.

as for the 44 thing, it is just chance combined with you being HYPER aware of anything to do with her. When I met my boyfriend who's from New York, I started hearing and seeing NY on the news, in the papers, in conversation, on posters, on the radio, in songs.. everywhere! happens to everyone.

[Tigger_]

oh god, that sucks.. I know it seems impossible to avoid her, but look at this way- she's NEVER going to change her mind, and if you don't truly believe that, you'll spend more years of your life clinging to that hope, and being utterly unhappy.

as for the 44 thing, it is just chance combined with you being HYPER aware of anything to do with her. When I met my boyfriend who's from New York, I started hearing and seeing NY on the news, in the papers, in conversation, on posters, on the radio, in songs.. everywhere! happens to everyone.

you are so right... you end up clinging to the slightest hope, even if that hope is only in your mind...

and you're so right about the 44 aswell... its just natural... the mind plays many tricks on your mind...

[CAM]

Just one of those things. My puppy love was 7th grade. That was 1981. She and I were close in 8th grade. Then, she didn't go to the same high school. Recently, (2005) I found out that she's a pro athlete--read about her in a newspaper article. So, 24 years after I first met her... I emailed to say, "Nice article. I remember you and missed you in high school--I was bummed when you weren't there the first day!" She wrote back, remembered me, too. She was very nice. Asked what I did for a living, etc. That was that. A nice memory.

My advice to you is to make her a nice memory.

I'll very likely never see or hear from my old friend Summer again. That's okay. I'd rather not see or hear from her, since she's just a very occasional pleasant memory in my life and nothing more or less.

That's why high school reunions are always a bad idea...you find out how people turned out, what they look like, and even who they really are. Impressions and memories are nice to have; don't dwell on them, don't live in the past, but just occasionally remember.

I only loved one woman and she burned a whole through my heart. For a couple of years, the pain was intense (like your feelings right now), but it subsides. At the same time, it is nice to have loved someone so deeply which is what I'm sure you feel. Don't forget that feeling and never compromise for something less...the bar has been raised, retain your emotional expectations.

[Junket]

I wish these people would come to us before the damage was done.

Then again, I guess people need to make their own mistakes...no matter how many times they've been repeated before, and will be repeated thereafter...

[CAM]

I wish these people would come to us before the damage was done.

Then again, I guess people need to make their own mistakes...no matter how many times they've been repeated before, and will be repeated thereafter...

I wouldn't call it "a mistake." I'd call it "being human" and "living life." God, how boring would life be if not for the emotions that we develop--good and bad ?

Haven't you had the exact opposite situation to the one discussed? Where the woman didn't really think too much of you, but then she discovered how great you were as a person, as a man? How great is that feeling--its wonderful.

So, it isn't a mistake...its just being alive and trying to make life happen.

[Junket]

I wouldn't call it "a mistake." I'd call it "being human" and "living life." God, how boring would life be if not for the emotions that we develop--good and bad ?

Haven't you had the exact opposite situation to the one discussed? Where the woman didn't really think too much of you, but then she discovered how great you were as a person, as a man? How great is that feeling--its wonderful.

So, it isn't a mistake...its just being alive and trying to make life happen.

I suppose that's the less cynical point of view...I dunno, I guess I view these things as "mistakes", because for so long I tried to avoid making the obvious mistakes everyone else was. By doing so, I let important developmental years pass me by.

[Gigabitch]

How could she possibly think that things could continue on as before, completely negating the confession that was so important to you? How could you agree?

Everything has changed. You told her for a reason, because you wanted things to be different, not so she could pretend it never happened.

I don't think you'll be able to keep this up for very long.

[CAM]

I suppose that's the less cynical point of view...I dunno, I guess I view these things as "mistakes", because for so long I tried to avoid making the obvious mistakes everyone else was. By doing so, I let important developmental years pass me by.

Giga's right [why do I keep saying that? ]

"important developmental years pass me by"....

uh, what years are those? I think all of life are "developmental years", particularly for men in terms of trying to figure out women

So, don't worry. You didn't miss any important years. You have the rest of your life to continue learning and developing.

[DarkDwarf]

BACAMO

Even though its hard. Just do it. Like Nike.

[DarkDwarf]

I don't really understand what you said, but BACAMO always seems to help me.

[LordOfTehVirgin]

I did not bother reading because I know what it will be about.

If the girl you like and is available, go for it.

If she is unavailable, move along, plenty of fish in the sea and the whole "true love" and "only one" stuff is bull. There are hundreds of thousands of people in the world. Bound to be you like more than one.