What to do?

[bigfella247]

Hey this is my first post here, I joined up so that I can get some advice on this matter, but off with the banter, on with the question at hand...

I am 17, in my final year of school, have never had a proper girlfriend in my life and for years I have never really wanted a girlfriend (due to my feeling that I wasn't ready both for a girlfriend and the responsibility that comes with having one). That is of course until about 2+ months ago. I have become VERY interested in this girl that has been at my school for about 2 1/2 years or more. To me she is stunningly beautiful, her piercing gaze and her laugh (which sort of crosses with a moan) totally gets me off. I have wanted to ask her out for some time now but whenever we are at the same place (i.e school and the frequent 18ths that pop up during the year) she is either with friends or she's with...a bottle or a can (she drinks lots at parties but not all the time). Now I want to let her know that I like her, and I want to do it (as I'm told), as a gentleman would do it, not while she's drunk and not over the phone/msn/text...to her face. Now I don't have trouble talking to her and I don't neccessarily think that I'll have lots and lots of trouble telling her that I like her for the first time, but my worry is, what she will think of me after I tell her, will things go back to how they were, will she put it behind her, will she hate me or think I'm wierd. I started to think about that about a week to a fortnight ago, now something else has popped up...one of the other girls at school who is friends with this girl I have a thing for has always had a big thing for me, though I am not interested in her at all, I was worried that if I ask this girl out whether her decision will be affected by her friendship with this other girl that everyone know likes me. Then the paranoia spread...does anyone else like me that I don't know about, my thoughts spread to this girl that I used to like but started going out with a friend so I left her alone, but she is now single. does she like me, does anyone else like me. Then I noticed small signs that may hint to this other girl that I used to like may like me. Then the paranoia spread further, I began to wonder, do I like anyone else apart from Megan (the girl I have a thing for). and I don't really want to ask out Megan if someone else likes me because that would be just...

gee I babble when confused about this love business, I will simplify

I like this girl (Megan), I REALLY want to ask her out, but I don't know how to tell it to her face because she is always with friends or drunk, I am worried of what she will think of me if she does not like me, I am worried her judgement may be swayed by her friendship with a girl who likes me but whom I am not interested in, I am not sure whether other girls may like me, in particular a girl I used to like and still have a soft spot for...the list goes on

If anyone understood any of that, or has advice for any of my many problems, please reply. Thankyou for putting up with me.

[Steve2004]

you're in your last year of high school.

play around and have fun with other girls.

you're not supposed to have to worry about the RESPONSIBILITY of a girlfriend your last year.

[DoesntMatter]

I don't know, I'm a senior in high school too and like a girl too. I'm just waiting for high school to end so I can have a fresh start at college.

[bigfella247]

you're in your last year of high school.

play around and have fun with other girls.

you're not supposed to have to worry about the RESPONSIBILITY of a girlfriend your last year.

there is a point in that, but we only have a year left together and I really want her. at the same time I can't say that I haven't considered what would happen to us at the end of the year should we be together, but both of us are in all likelihood move to Adelaide (capital of South Australia where I live) for university, and we are going to different residential colleges which luckily are a block apart! so provided we both get what we need to get to uni, I shouldn't have a problem in seeing her.

so I don't really know whether to take your advice or not because both points are valid

[zro]

if you like her, ask her the **** out and get it over and done with - however, things will not be the same after you do it, you cant go on as nothing has happened plus a friendship is not a friendship if one side wants something more, thats ****ing torture (well maybe not torture, but definitely a pain in the ****ing ass)

You sound smart for a 17 year old, this is not ****ing rocket science - if you like someone and are willing to put yourself on the line, go ask her out - dont worry about her bitch friend (you dont like her and to be honest its not your ****ing problem either), last thing you want to do is ask yourself "what if??" and if she doesnt have the same feelings, who gives a ****, you are nearly finished high school and will soon start a new era of your life

p.s: and about the drink thing, dont worry about it - heck some guys wuld prefer it that the girl was drunk (you could get drunk too to even things up) - makes things a whole lot easier, but since you are ****ing do it, not me - you decide

[bigfella247]

If I didn't like your advice and you hadn't said that I sounded smart for a 17 year old I would have gotten on my soapbox about about your language. but that aside thanks for the input zro it helped

[all alone]

i was in a similar situation a couple weeks ago actually, like u i didnt have a huge problem telling her per say, just the reaction.

It depends on what type of person she is how she will take it. If she is a genuine down to earth person (and be honest) your in the clear. If they tend to get involved in a lot of drama etc with her friends, then it maybe be tricky. Good call no MSN/text/phone and always make sure she is sober or has only had a drink or two. I told her when we were out at a bar, she had one drink and we went to put our coats in my buddy's car, so i was able to talk to her one on one.

If you have been friends for a while, she may not expect it so be careful, she may be caught for words, you should explain to her if she doesn't want to say anything right away, thats fine with you and she can get back to you.

You also seem to have a 3rd variable i didnt, the friend also potentially liking you. Iunno how accurate your sources are, but if its 100% true, then your friend may be inclined to disagree (bros before hoes, etc same goes for girls you kno?). Just depends how gutsy your feeling =\...

Good luck!

[bigfella247]

It may just be me, but your last paragraph was just a bit too cryptic for my understanding, could you just repeat your meaning please.

[Miss hotty]

This a really hard one i went out with a guy in my last year of high school and was still together at the end of the year we was going ok but the end driffed apart but you are young and should have fun thats where i went wrong

[bigfella247]

So I should tell her at some time to her face when she isn't plastered, I shouldn't come right out with I AM ABSOLUTELY BAT **** INSANE about you so as not to startle her, but I should start with an easy and simple "would you like to go and see a movie/go out sometime". and if she says no things can't go back to the same ol'

btw what was that biz "all alone" about bro's before hoes...you'll need to expand a wee bit

[Gigabitch]

btw what was that biz "all alone" about bro's before hoes...you'll need to expand a wee bit

That "bros before ho's" thing- I'm just wondering, is that kind of like when an ugly kid's mom says, "It's what's on the inside that counts"? Trying to sweeten up those sour grapes?

Frankly, if you have to choose, either your ho or your bro is an asshole. There's room for everyone.

So, bigfella, I wish you luck in finding her alone and sober enough to ask out. Zro's right- it's not ****ing rocket science, but it can be tricky. Good call on reserving the "bat **** crazy" confession for later.

[zro]

"bros before hoes" is a stupid idea in my opinion - reminds me of what we used to say as little dumb 14 year olds looking for a punch up, there are parts of it that apply - eg you dont **** or go out with your friends ex's, but thats where it ends, biologically you are suppoosed to find that "significant other" and settle down, then your family take priority over your friends - i am not saying ditch your friends, they will keep your feet planted firmly on the ground and 9 times out of 10 will tell you the truth even if "it hurts your feelings", failure to see that eventually a "significant other" will take priority is just plain immature and ****ing stupid

[Gigabitch]

I must spread some reputation around before giving it to zro again. Somebody should give him some rep for that post.

[zro]

hahaha **** the reputation, might result into people might actually start listening to me, thanks anyway giga