should I be concerned

[neesee]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this forum, I'm 25 years of age & I live in the Caribbean.

I have a dilemma where my current boyfriend leaves for England for a stay of 6 months, it has been a week since he left and I haven’t heard from him as yet. Before he left everything was as normal as ever, we were talking about marriage, him starting his own business when he returns & having me manage it for him. He has travelled one other time since we've been together and he phoned as soon as he arrived at his destination & throughout his stay of 2 days (it's also his first time going to England) now I don’t know what to think or do. Some of my friends keep saying that he’s going to call, to give him time to settle in first, whilst others are saying that it’s principle for him to at least call & let me know that he’s OK. What do you think I should do? Wait another week or should I just go on with my life. Please some one I need answers, it's not like him 2 do something like this.

A response will be greatly appreciated
THANKS!!!!
Neesee

[meh]

What do you mean, "wait another week or go on with your life"?

Maybe he's run into some kind of trouble. Maybe his wallet and all his stuff got stolen. Maybe he isn't settled in yet, as your friends say. Could be any number of things.

If by "go on with your life" you mean forget this guy, then all I have to say is... wow! You're talking about getting married but you'd forget him and move in a week?

What is wrong with you?

[vashti]

Don't you know where he is supposed to be? Why don't you call him? I'm with meh; if he has no history of bad behavior, your suspicion isn't warranted. Concern would be more appropriate.

[anachronistic]

you'd leave a guy that you want to marry for THAT?!?!? you need to be bitch-slapped.

[neesee]

Hey u guys thanks for all the responses that u've posted but since last week, I've found out that he's been in contact with a few of his friends here & still hasn't made any effort to contact me whatsoever.

Though I may seem bitchy by what I've posted last week, this isn't a normal reaction from me, i will see him doing certain things or listen 2 him say certain things & not react to it whatsoever because I hate drama & confrontations.

Yes, it's true that he hasn't done anything out of the way to show that he can't be trusted but why all of a sudden it appears that way. At this point I'm so hurt over this that I can't even get a goodnight sleep cuz its all I think about, I keep asking myself why? why now?why at this point in our relationship. I go through the day in a daze. Now how should I feel about that knowing that I'm all that he ever speaks about around his friends both male & female.

This type of behaviour portrayed by him is very strange & it's not like him 2 do something like this that's the whole point about all this, something is wrong with this picture. He has given everyone the impression that i'm the one for him that nothing & no one can come between us, not even family. All his past relationships didn't work out because he realised that all those other women wanted him for just his wealth, what they could get from him, he's told so many people that with me its just so different, that he's never met anybody like me, so for him to do something like this it's very distressing to me.

[vashti]

If he has made no effort to contact you, but has been in contact with other people, I think that is a very clear representation of his priorities. Obviously you are less important to him than he is telling you. Sorry.

So, what are you going to do? Are you one of those girls who is willing to be such a low priority because you are so desperate to keep him?

[meh]

Well, considering that he'll be gone for a long time, you can't wait until he's back to settle this. So get in contact with him. Call him. Track him down using his friends, or something, and see what the hell is up with him.

But unless he has a very, very good explanation (can't possibly imagine what that would be) I guess you should just get closure and move on.

[Gigabitch]

You can't control what he does- only what you do. Take the high road, keep your self-respect. IMO, if he takes too much longer to contact you, you might want to restructure your relationship, at least while he's gone (meaning, you should break up with him).

Is there no way he's tried to contact you and you just didn't get the message or something? His behavior is just plain weird.

[DoesntMatter]

Maybe you talk too much. If he does not have a lot of extra time in England, he might not want to call you if you talk for too long.

This is pretty unusual. Like someone else said you should contact him one way or another and see what his explanation is before you decide to do anything. I'm sorry to say that I'm quite skeptical he'll have a good excuse.

[dollface82]

well my guy, who just told me he loved me and wanted to get married (he's 33) told me he was going away to work for the wknd - I didn't expect to hear from him til Monday.

As I was going for a drive over the wknd I saw him walking with another girl and her dog.

I approached them calmly, he said she was just his friend.

He then sent me a text that night saying he wants a break.

I think your guy might be doing the same thing.

[Tiay]

call him and confront him. He'd better be very sorry...!

interestingly though, my bf can't send me txts when i'm in ireland, it tells him it's been sent, but I just never get it. Maybe it's a glitch. Or maybe he's fleeing like dollface says..


hey, that reminds me to call my bf before midnight. sweet

[dollface82]

it hurts, I think I've lost 2 kg's just from crying, but you're better off knowing.

[anachronistic]

well my guy, who just told me he loved me and wanted to get married (he's 33) told me he was going away to work for the wknd - I didn't expect to hear from him til Monday.

you were only with him for 6 months. that's way too early to be thinking about marriage.

[Steve2004]

dollface, you already had your thread.

[dollface82]

sorry, just thought the lack of contact neesee mentioned, the 6 month timeframe of her relationship etc was kinda relevant to mine and she would appreciate hearing my experience.

I really hope hers is different!