How not to come on strong

[Freeway3137]

It seems as if I always come on to strong to girls and also am very straight to the point which makes it where the girl isn't interested anymore. WHat do you guys do to get a girl more interested in you? I tend to always get stuck in a texting war but nothin ever comes about it.

[Illusional]

why are you gonna change yourself in attract someone? if they don't like you the way that you are, then find another one. adaptation is crap.

raverboy

[zro]

agree with illusional, **** changing yourself for any other human, play your strengths, if you are very upfront and straight to the point, i would continue to be the same way, there is bound to be at least one bitch out there that would appreciate that

[Freeway3137]

What I'm trying to get at here is that there's times where I get too anxious and try and rush things and thats what I don't like.

I see a girl, I'm attracted to her, but completely forget the flirting stuff... pretty much throwing the hail mary when all I need is a few yards.

Is there any tips on staying more chilled out and comfortable around the girl(s)? Seems like I catch myself talking just to try and not look shy and/or boring and/or not interested in them which results in either
A) being very random
B) talking about boring crap
C) talking alot about myself which is kinda on the same lines as B
and when one of the above happens, it just seems as if I am not taking any interest into what the girl says and I am just self-centered. And about listening to them, I'm really good at acting like I am interested in what they have to say but then can't feed into the convo because of such which would result in A).

ADD anyone?

[Illusional]

it's not add.. you're just nervous. learn to relax and chill, then everything else will fall into place. girls are the same way and if they are interested in you, they are probably just as nervous. but back to change...blah blah blah.

raverboy

[anachronistic]

i think you should avoid texting. that is a lot of your time wasted. keep the chatting to a minimum, be mysterious. instead, call her, and only let the conversation last for 20 minutes. then end it with something silly like "okay, well i'm going to go mow the lawn now, talk to you later"

[Illusional]

yup, texting back and forth is a waste of time. if you're got to text a person more than twice, call the person up...instead of playing silly games.

raverboy

[Gribble]

Focus the conversation on her. Ask her questions about herself when you hit a lull and feign interest when she answers.

[kapneb92]

touch her friendishly...not overly flirtatiously or jokingly make fun of her. bother her. something that gets her attebtion

[vashti]

I don't suggest you touch unless you are 99% sure she likes you.

[Freeway3137]

Well I have been practicing and tonight at street racing I have found by maintaining eye contact (something I was terrible at) it is easier to naturally talk.

Lesson of the day
eye contact=staying in the convo lol

[anachronistic]

how come you are so self-observant and self-conscious? stop paying attention to yourself and focus more on the conversation itself and the woman.

[Freeway3137]

I think it's because when I do concentrate on the girl, I think that she's being self consious about herself which gets her uncomfortable so I'd try and do things to make it more comfortable (ex: letting go of eye contact) so she won't be as self consious which in turn ends up me being self consious.

def something I am working on.

[anachronistic]

nah, i think you're just worried about making a bad impression. just be loose and let things flow. you'll know what i mean when you get the hang of it.

[Holdme]

Yea just relax and be yourself, but extra nice. If she doesn't like who you are or what you do they'll be someone out there who does and is worth your time.