recently broke up//need advice (long post)

[pellis]

after 7 years, me and my gf broke up, it has been a long time coming. both 24 and we have been dating each other since high school. we both agreed that we should break up to see what else is out there, but we always pushed it aside.

2 wks ago, she started to act distant and i picked up on it, so i asked her does she want to break up and she said yeah! fine, you can't make no one who doesn't want to be with you be with you. and i don't want to have someone with me that doesn't want to be with me.

she is really depressed all of the time and is on medicine for depression, she has a negative view towards herself. she says that she wants to gain independence on her own and make decisions without worrying about my opinion. she knows that i don't mind what she doesn't b/c i want her to be her own person. she just worries about what i would think all of the time. i compliment her all of the time and she doesn't see how i can find her attractive and would still want to be with her.

we have always had an honest relationship on how we really feel toward each other. she says that i am the "perfect boyfriend" and that i need to find someone that will treat me better than she could.

she wants to remain friends, but i still want a relationship with her. so i told her that we couldn't be friends b/c i don't want to see her with someone else. come to think about it, it would be rather messed up to not have someone in you life for all of this time that we have known each other. i think i might want to be friends down the road, just not right now.

-my question is, she i try to be friends later in life, or just let it go all together and move on?
-does she really want to be friends, or just saying that to try to ease my pain
(i don't want to go around, try to be friends, and looking like a fool if she doesn't want to)

i just need to get over her now before i can move to that stage

[Gigabitch]

You're doing the right thing. Close that door for now- you can always re-establish a friendship later if it works. Right now, you need to cut contact.

It sounds like you're more clear about this than she is, so you have to be gentle but firm with her. Broken up is broken up. End of story.

Please remember that her emotional state is no longer your responsibility.

[pellis]

i am trying to keep a clear head about all of this, but it is eating me up. i think about her all of the time. sometimes i say "f" it and i don't care, then i get mad, then sad, and lonely. but i guess that is all a part of getting over someone.

[vashti]

I agree with Giga. Also, everything you are going through is normal. You'll be fine. Try to stay busy.