I wonder sometimes...

[spamboy67]

Hello everyone. I'm a male college freshman. I can't seem to figure out why I want to lose my virginity so badly. My girlfriend thinks that sex is a marriage thing (mentioned in dif post), and my life would certainly be a lot easier to deal with if I didn't have this particular conflict of interest. So I wonder sometimes if there is a way for me to change my perspective to match my girlfriend's, for I can't seem to find a way. I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind about the subject (trust me, I've tried), so is there anything I can do to change my own mind?

thanks,
moo-cow

Oh, and how should I deal with the fact that my 17-year-old sister is a nympho and comes to me as her confidant? Her boyfriend is a smooooth muddafugga, great guy, but then I think of the things I know, and the things he doesn't know I know, and I'm at a loss for how I should feel about the whole situation. Any thoughts?

[sfalexi]

To me it seems obvious that you and your girlfriend have conflicting interests. And in this case, it's a big thing. And no matter what she's like or how you to feel about each other, I think this is something that is big enough that you should not be together.

Why do I say this? I and my recent ex had the same exact conflict. She was a "born again" virgin. Her first boyfriend used a cheap line on her and then cheated on her twice, and since then she's decided for it to be a marriage thing (or at least for a guy that she thinks she might marry). Unfortunately, she didn't tell me that in the beginning of the relationship and I just kept thinking that she 'wasn't ready'. Little did I know that she wanted it to be a marriage thing. I got more and more frustrated and you can read that if you search for my posts under the sex talk.

In the end, she broke it off, but she wants to leave a window open cause she wants to get back together with me. So she wants to continue seeing me every now and then. And she told me that she's going to think about it a lot during this break from each other, and if she feels that I'm the next one she is willing to give herself completely to, then she'll let me know and if I take her back, I'll have all of her.

But if she hadn't had broken it off, I know that I would have gotten so frustrated that I would have broke up with her cause it was getting to be too much.

Save yourself the trouble that I went through for MONTHS and call the break up. It sucks, but you have your views, and she has yours, and they're completely conflicting. You'll just be more and more frustrated that she won't have sex with you, and she'll be more and more frustrated cause you're gonna keep asking her (believe me, you will.)

Alexi

[MVPlaya]

Don't change your mind for someone else, that only leads to insecurity and misery.

Ask yourself this bro, do you want to marry this chick / be with her for 5+ years? To me, college is all about exploring the world, not tying your chain around the nearest tree. Go out, experiment, have fun, and think of yourself first, the next 3 years are all about discovering who you are, not suppressing it.

[spamboy67]

does anyone else have an opinion on this? i really need help on this one. not that the responses ive gotten are crap, i find them quite valid, but i was hoping for more than two responses... anyone?

moo-cow

[Ray - depressed]

just my 2 cents..

i know how badly u wanna get laid for the first time .. and theres absolutely nothing u can do to make that curiosity go away.... it's just human nature... and if ur chick feels that sex is something that special, then so be it... u need to think about a few things.. first of all, do u think u 2 will last until actually getting married?? if u know u aint gona get any until u get married, u'll probably end up rushing the relationship to marriage and regret it later... also, what's ur reason for dating someone rite now anyways? to experience life, or to find "the one".. if u just wanna experience life, then hell break it off soon and start moving on.. if u let these emotions drag, u'll just get really bottled up in the end, so save urself the trouble and decide soon... if ur girl holds such a strong belief about this whole sex thing, ur just gona end up pissing her off if u keep pushing it.. unless ur just waiting for a surprise, that she'll nod her head all of a sudden, i think u should move on.... anyways, good luck with that..

[Fawn]

For once I actually agree with all of the above reply's lol

Just as they said, if you really don't think your going to marry this girl, then their is no point fighting it.

You want something new, you want to experiment and try sex. There is nothing wrong with that.

It seems that this conflict is starting to become a great annoyance for you. Its not going to get better the longer you wait, because she's not going to change her mind. And even if she did, she'll regret it because its not what she wanted (which was to wait till marriage).

So, overall, do what you feel is right. All we can do here is point you in a direction, and its your choice to take it.

[spamboy67]

thank you for all of your advice

moo-cow

[Illusional]

Originally posted by spamboy67
I'm a male college freshman. I can't seem to figure out why I want to lose my virginity so badly.

your first line gives it away... you're a guy in college.. what other reasons do you need to ask people why you wanna have sex? raverboy