I need advice!!

[Help me!!]

Yeah maybe, but if i was to start dating someone else now, it would end up in diaster because i would be on the rebound and everything the new girl did or said i would start analysing and thinking about how my x did it, and it would be unfair on both of us.

I would say i am quite a sensetive person and when i do something i put all my feelings into it, maybe i should try and not get so involved and then it mite not hurt as much, thats just me tho i guess. But once i am over her then yeah its part of moving on aient it, but not now.

[Ray - depressed]

man, i hate calling u "help", got a name or something i can refer to u as?

anyways i'm reading ur posts and i'm like wtf when the hell did i write this? feels like we're dealing with the same shit... i've had gfs before, and none this serious.. and honestly, the last 2 yrs with my ex have been the happiest moments of my life.. she has a place in my heart now, and always will.. this is a fact, and the only way i'll move on is when i realize there is completely no hope between us, in which case i won't want to stay friends w/ her anymore... u only get to live once rite? if therres something u can't change, why not just live w/ it, and put the past aside.. i'll never stop loving my gal, but rite now i'm trying to make the best of what i still have left.. be as happy as i possibly can

[Help me!!]

Hi ray, lol, my name is Steve mate,

Yeah we are very much in the same situation man, your girl says she needs space but its nothing you have done wrong and you dont no what real true feelings are and my girl says she doesnt love me and its nothing i have done wrong but i dont no if thats her true feelings or if its because of everything else. I have had gfriends before too but nothing serious either man, and i would have to agree that the last year and abit has been the happiest time of my life too. She was my first love and i will always have a place in my heart for her.

My x wants to stay friends and i dont no, i am trying to move on but its hard espically as i dont no if this is her true feelings, but if she wont tell me i cant and will not force her. Yeah true you do only get one life, but you may also only ever get one real true love but i guess thats something you have to live with.

I am trying to do stuff to keep my mine off her, wkends are worse for me as i used to finish work thursday nite and go straight up to see her every wkend and come back tuesday for work so i just feel really lost a wkends.

[Ray - depressed]

heh that was a quick reply steve...

umm, i'm pretty sure it's not because of school or stress or whatever.. those are just their damn excuses, to make them feel less guilty... she just has doubts about the relationship i guess

and um, she wants to be friends? well shit, u want to be couples.. let's both compremize and not communicate at all... well i'm a freaking hypocrite, i saw my ex today.. anyways she told me she was going out later, and so i asked with who and where to, as usual.. and she didn't wanna answer me, coz she felt like i'm still controlling her life... well ok, now this is gona bug me for the rest of the nite.. and theres not a freaking thing i can do about it.. so ya, don't be friends ..

[Help me!!]

Your reply was quick to man, just dont no, my x keeps herself to herself alot and she used to talk to me but then things happened and she got very depressed and confused and she just kept controdicing (saying one thing, and doin anyother, or saying one thing then changing and saying something else) dunno if thats spelt wrong herself that i really dont no if it what she is saying is really the whole truth.

Yeah, i txted her a few days back, and she said maybe we can meet up at easter as friends but i would only wanna meet up as a couple. I havent txt or anything my x for say 4 or 5 days and havent seen her since we split up, then again i did send her a letter as a last dicth atempt but i havent heard anything........

Yeah does sound like she didnt want to tell you cuz she felt you may be trying to control her, and i can see how it is gunna bug you mate, it just sucks, i treated my x like a princess and i bet you did to and now they just basically take are feelings and stand on then till they have not life left, people always say they want to meet someone you is kind and senative and when they do they get bored, doesnt make sense to me.

[Ray - depressed]

ya man shit
i guess u always want what u don't have.. well ya she never used to lie to me, and i think she has been... and another thing that bugs the shit outa me, is when someone calls, she goes upstairs and "changes" or whatever until she's off the phone... and then, she doesn't tell me who calls.. she's driving me nuts.. i'm gona start keeping my distance.. but i'm gona make my last attempt a couple months from now, coz that shoulda been our 2 yr anniversary.. and if all fails, i'm gona give up and probably move on..

[Help me!!]

Yeah true, but people always go on about being in a shit relationship were there partner hits them or whatever and they wish they had a relationship with someone who really loves and cares for them etc, and then when that comes along people say stuff like 'i need to do stuff without you' or just throw it back in your face after you have given them so much and treated great, i guess thats just life tho and most people do one thing and say another alot of the time.

I dont think i could do what you are doing mate, and still see your x and go out with her as friends, when me and my x split up just seeing her and not being able to be part of a couple with her, kissing etc and then having to walk away from her was hard enough. I can imagine that if she is making excuses when ppl phone her and then not telling you is bugging you it would bug me to, why doesnt she just tell you who it is on the phone. I aient exactly in a postion to give my advice but cant see why she just cant say who she was talking to.

I aient heard anything about the letter i sent her so theres nothing else i can do, just have to except it now, still hurts like hell, and i no she is still going though alot with uni and everything else in her life i just feel abit as if i am dissowning her, but i guess if she doesnt want that then thats it, i just have to start thinking about number one again and doing my own stuff, easier said than done hey man.....

[Ray - depressed]

hey steve...

ya man, it's actually really hard for me to stay friends with her rite now.. its such a dillema.. when someone calls, of course i wanna know who it is, but she doesn't wanna tell me who it is because nobody which guy it is, i'll get jealous.. sigh, i have a shit load of work to do this weekend, and i found out my ex is seeing another guy... i'm going insane man..

[Help me!!]

hi ray....

yeah i bet its been really differcult seeing your ex and just being friends, oh right i see what you mean about the phone calls. I can see how its doing your head in mate, what seeing another guy as in a date or dont you no man?? I can imagine how your feeling, if i think of my ex off with someone else it really kills, when we split up she said she wanted to be part of the 'student life' and go out and see other blokes and her just talking about it made me feel possitively sick.

Thats one of the reasons why i find wkends harder at the moment cuz i no she is off out clubbin etc and getting off with new blokes, and i still feel for her. I think how can she have got over me so quickly when i am still finding it hard now and the thought of me of with some other girl just doesnt feel right to me right now, but i guess that will pass.

[Satch]

Ray and Steve,

How are your situations now? Have they changed? I'm going through now exactly what you were going through and it is killing me. My girl said after 2.5 years that she no longer loves me enough to be in a relationship, and has grown away from me. And everything appeared to be sweet up until 10 mins before she told me, and then the next 5 days after that! A charade the whole time.

How can women just do these things? I'm not sexist, just annoyed that some women can flip/flop their emotions like that.