I'm in love with my best friend, but he may or may not love me back...

[111222333]

This might be a little long, but if you could bear with me, I would sooo appreciate it.
I find myself hopelessly in love, despite all I've tried not to go there. The situation, though seemingly less than unique, is increasingly complicated. My friend and I have worked together since mid december of last year, and since then it's been just the two of us in a small room, unnoticed by the supervisors until it became us against the supervisors. We have grown very close to one another, sharing everything from stupid had to be there stories, to deep dark secrets that we have only relayed to one another. He never lets a single day go by without calling me, every night he is the last person I talk to before falling asleep, and as he has me call in the morning to get him up for work, his is often the first voice I hear when I wake. Until this past weekend, our days off have been spent together, just hanging out and staying over, falling asleep together (several times I've woken up to him watching me sleep). He tells me I am one of his very best friends, and he is definately mine, and as his friend he says he loves me... but friends is where it stays. Early in our friendship he asked me to promise not to fall for him. I said it was a stupid promise, telling him he thought too much of himself, and concluding with, "Of course I promise." But it has never been that clean cut. He loves me as his friend, but is also sexually attracted to me, can't keep his hands off of me, and keeps suggesting that--just as friends--we have sex with one another. As a matter of fact, this is the first weekend in a long time that I have not spent with him because we have decided it would be best for our friendship if we no longer did stay the night together, considering how close we came to having sex the last time. He tries to have sex with me, but will not kiss me, but will sometimes suggest that I kiss him. And though I am never the one to initiate any moves, he somehow manages to attribute the desire solely to me. Now we do have this amazing, wonderful friendship, which I absolutely refuse to forfiet, and he has told me that every other friendship he has tried to have with girls were completely oblitherated when they announced they had feelings for him. But he did not try to sleep with any of them, and never wanted them to stay at his house and spend the weekend with them. In fact, he is not a promiscuous man, and has only ever slept with one girl with whom he was with for three years. And I am still a virgin, so it's not as if he tries to sleep with me because I'm an easy girl. I understand his fear that we will not be friends, as I have had similar experiences with male friends in the past. And I am terrified as well, so maybe I confuse him too. But though he admits to a deep emotional connection, and a strong sexual attraction, he still says he doesn't like me that way... He says our values are too different as he is a conservative republican and I am a liberal democrat, but... what really scares me is how much he tells me I remind him of his ex-girlfriend, whom he grew to despise. He says I remind him of her best traits, but still... and then he'll try to talk to me like one of the guys, "how fine this girl is, and how fine that girl is," or, "You think I can pick up chicks in this hat?" and sometimes like one of the girls, asking me if I think this guy is cute, and should I say yes, he'll ask me if I think he's cuter than he is, or he'll tell me that he is not as cute as he is, or half jokingly reply that he will fight him. But then will say things like, "Lauren, When you get a boyfriend please don't let him take advantage of you," and, "When you get a boyfriend you have to let me meet him and make sure he's good enough for you." He is the king of mixed messages, and with everything, my head is just spinning, and all I can think is how much I miss him, and want to be with him, how he can make any day all better just by being in it, how--even though this sounds incredibly corny-- he's restored my faith in God, and how the wierdest things about him turn me on so much... his hands, his knees, his ears, his bed head, the way he laughs so hard at the silliest things, the sounds he makes at night... I even like the way he snores... Good God, right? He's really the only one I trust, and the only one who makes me feel safe, and as long as he's around I don't want anyone else! But he says he doesn't want me like that, and I don't know what to do. I can't not love him, and it's breaking my heart, but I won't do without him in my life. Can you help me, Please?

[Alloutornothing]

I guess you can call me biased even though i said i wasnt biased in another thread.

I think friends who are close enough on another level have nothing to hide. I dont think you should hide your feelings for him because it will drive you insane. I like the old school method of being honest and upfront. Its not a big deal you have feelings for him and so what. If it works out it does if not than so be it.

If hes not mature enough to handle this situation and would let it get between you and your friendship than maybe hes not the friend you thought he was.

[111222333]

You know what? It does drive me crazy! He drives me crazy! ... I have told him that I care very much for him, but then like a stupid idiot, i kind of played the back track game... and I don't know why, I can't stop doing that! I can't let down my guard or my shield or whatever and be vulnerable... and sometimes i just want to say to hell with it all... Say everything that's on my mind and if it turns out that were no longer friends, well fine, he makes me crazy anyway... I would walk the earth for him, but damn it if i don't want to beat him over the head sometimes! anyway... it's not that simple, I won't let him not be my friend, even though i swore i'd never ever say this about any guy, I don't know what I'd do without him. And even if I could find the perfect words to say, they'd come out like crap as soon as he was there, and I'd twist them around and say something completely different, I don't know why or how, but he does that to me. Besides that fact, he flat out told me not to fall for him, which means he doesn't want me... but how can I be your best friend, you call me every single night without fail, want to sleep with me, but not want me??? Uggghhh! It does drive me insane, it absolutely does.

[Fabio134]

Let me tell you something. If your best friend is truly your best friend, they'll stay like that after a relationship. I was in love with my best friend and i asked her out. We were together for a year until she moved away to New Jersey (i'm in Georgia). We're still best friends. We're not together only because of distance. ASK HIM OUT!

[Marissa]

They say the best relationships are the ones that started as friends. I'm inclined to agree with that one. I say go for it! Let him know!

[anachronistic]

i tried to read 3 times. i always get lost in the middle of that big wall of words.

[Jimmy1218]

Ask. him. out. or. else..........................

[Alloutornothing]

Tell him the truth about how you feel.

or you can wait 10 years from now and always wonder "what if i would of told him my feelings".

You only have one life what is there to lose?

"I don't know what I'd do without him"

Theres only so much in life you have control over the rest is in the hands of destiny.

[Jimmy1218]

[QUOTE=Alloutornothing;284326]
or you can wait 10 years from now and always wonder "what if i would of told him my feelings".

[QUOTE]

Yeah...tell him your feelings. Always the answer you're gonna get for questions like these .

[all alone]

They say the best relationships are the ones that started as friends. I'm inclined to agree with that one. I say go for it! Let him know!

you would be surprised though as too how many people are afraid to start a relationship after a friendship has been established though. I think the same way and it has screwed me over three fold in the past..