My best friend and I both like the same girl

[guitarJammy]

I’m in a sticky situation right now, I hope you guys can help me.

So I went to summer camp with my best friend and I started liking this girl named Teresa and I could tell she liked me too. My friend started liking this other girl there, but then he lost interest for her pretty quickly and he moved onto Teresa. Camp lasted only a month and now we’re back home. He and I live very close to each other. She lives in San Francisco, about less than an hour away from me in San Jose. I talk to her everyday online, and so does he. I asked her if she liked me and she said yes, and I told her how I felt about her.

That’s about as far as we’ve went on that matter. I don’t really plan on asking her out right now, b/c it would be hard to keep the relationship going if we can’t see each other often and if we’re limited to instant messaging. However, I would really like to get together with her. I’m 17 BTW, I’m going to get a license/car soon, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to drive around often to see her.

One day, before we found out that we liked the same girl, my friend was going up to SF with his family. He saw this as an opportunity to visit her. He asked me to come along. I ended up not going b/c it was more of a family thing for him, and she was busy that day anyways. My friend found out that I liked her too soon afterwards while we were hanging out.

Today he is going up to SF with his cousin just to hang out with her. This time he didn't invite me; I only found out about it last night when she asked me to come along with him. I told her I couldn't go b/c it was too short notice. He still hasn't said anything about it. So I'm pretty bummed right now & kinda jealous that he gets to see her.

I don't know if Teresa likes my friend or not. I didn't seem like she did when we were at camp. I also talked to another friend of ours who went to camp also, and told her about how my best friend liked Teresa. She laughed and sarcastically said "She's gonna LOVE that". That was early on though, and I'm wondering if all those long talks he's had with her every day + spending today with her has changed her mind about him. My gut feeling is that she does somewhat.

I don't want this to mess up my friendship with my best friend, b/c I can see some tension that might appear in the future. We don't talk to each other about it, and I haven't talked to Teresa about any of this yet either.

I have no idea where this is going!

[Gigabitch]

This is going to the "somebody's gonna get hurt" place.

I say you should ask her directly if she's getting involved with your friend. When I was her age, I would have thought nothing of stringing along two guys at once. I'm not saying Teresa's anywhere near the little bitch I was, but you never know.

It sounds like you and your friend haven't been entirely clear with one another about her either. You might feel as if you have dibs on her or something because you liked her first, but it doesn't really work like that.

Simply backing off and letting him have her doesn't work either, because you'll always resent him for it, I imagine. I don't know. If she chooses him, could you be okay with it?

[guitarJammy]

Well there's nothing that I could do about it if she chose him over me, because it's really her choice in the end, so I wouldn't hold a grudge against him for that.

I've been meaning to talk to him about it. How do I bring it up and where do I start? And should I talk to him about it first or her?

[Gigabitch]

Him. You and he go way back; he's your best friend. She's new.

[Junket]

How do you bring it up?

Jesus, you're not trying to go out with him after all, there shouldn't be any fear of rejection.

Just be straight up with him as best friends should be.

[Mathias]

How do you bring it up?

Jesus, you're not trying to go out with him after all, there shouldn't be any fear of rejection.

Just be straight up with him as best friends should be.

Listen to Frasbee. He knows stuff.

[Only-virgins]

Kill your friend. Video tape it. Let me watch it.


Trust me, it is the only way.

[bcarroll03]

Kill your friend. Video tape it. Let me watch it.

uhh?? I hope you don't post alot

[Only-virgins]

uhh?? I hope you don't post alot

Sucks for you, read my post count.

[Gigabitch]

uhh?? I hope you don't post alot

It keeps the forum going.

Actually, though, O-V will post about 75% incendiary gobbledegook and then come out with something absolutely wonderful, just to surprise you, so don't write him off just yet.

[Junket]

O-V will post about 75% incendiary gobbledegook

He's as bitter as I was a year ago...well, a little more than a year ago. Actually, about a year and 4 months ago.