The Journ Ultimatum

[Journey]

I've been with my girlfriend for about a year. I'm 32 and she's 29. We have both never been married before, but we've had long-term relationships. She now basically does'nt want to spend years of her life, just for another one to end. I understand where she is coming from.

So, about a month ago we decided to give it two months. I have a month left. I need to decide about marriage. The relationship is fine - not everything is perfect, but its pretty close. At the same time I can't help but feel nervous.
Journ

[bohemiandonut]

Oh man I think you need to bail. You're obviously not sure about this and correct me if I'm wrong but marriage does not seem like something you want to jump the gun on. You say you've been with her for "about a year." Unless you "knew" her for a long time before this or you have really just found your soulmate, that in my opinion is just not enough time to decide you want to spend the rest of your life with a person.

Be wise and don't let your heart (or your c0ck) force you into something that you aren't sure about.

[Tiay]

I agree that isn't really enough time. Still-- I guess you have to work out if your hesitancy/doubt is just a general commitment fear, or if you're really not entirely into it.

what does she do at the end of the two months? get up and leave? that'd be 'wasting' the time you spent getting to know each other, and just think how long she'd have to wait to find another guy she liked enough to marry and get to the same stage with him? It all seems a bit cold, is all.

[misombra]

what's up journ!!!

i hope she hooooooooooolds on a little lonnnnnnnnnnnger..


anyway i don't know. i can understand how she feels. she wants to know that you want to be with her forever. if you don't journ, then you should leave her alone to find somebody who does. there are people out there that do. if you're really not sure i can't advise you to do it.

[miSSleepy]

Why would getting married make things any different? Things can still turn sour in a marriage, and that's even more sticky. Either way, staying with each other, is investment and a risk, whether you have a piece of paper or not.

The whole set-up seems a bit contrived to me, it's like all you want out of life is marriage and that's all you aim for.

[Gigabitch]

The only reason to get married is because you both really want to.