How to be the Perfect Girlfriend

[Junket]

[url]http://www.ehow.com/how_2057937_be-perfect-girlfriend.html[/url]

Read and learn.

[Moonchild]

Guess I'll never be one. For a guy, anyway.

1. Fine. Just as long as I don't have to look perfect at three in the morning. Or wear uncomfortable shoes. I /hate/ those.
2. I'd prefer to kick his butt at video games, thank you. It can be an ego thing if I lose. If. But I'm a sore loser anyway, so I suppose I'd just make him feel bad either way.
3. And I think parties from which one returns drunk are bad ones to show up at to start with. I can't stand the smell of alcohol on its own, let alone on someone's breath.
4. Beer sucks. Get with tea.
5. If he can't work the VCR/DVR/whatever, then it's his own fault if he misses something. I don't watch TV anymore, so I'm not going to mess with it. Streaming video for the win. And if he doesn't even know what that is, he deserves to be shot.
6. Not having sex 'til I'm married, thank you. If he can't keep it in his pants, then he can't keep me.
7. I wouldn't date him unless I liked his sense of humor.

Thanks for the laugh. =)

[dontknowhow]

DO IT!

don't read the the 7 steps.

just remember the TIP

[Moonchild]

The sex thing? Hmm... See #6 in my previous post. Stupid bad advice. >> Sounds like how to be a perfect one-man slut... Is that all men want? If so, I'll stick to women.

[Michael6084]

what i dont particularly like is that it plays on stereotypical guys and girls figure that the majority of guys are like that.

the good point of this article is not necessarily those detailed points that were written, but its the big picture: show that you appreciate your man. it seems like a rarity for a girl to actually do those things and when a girl does something that shows appreciation, its a great feeling.

moonchild, id hate to be your bf. you sound like a control freak. you have self-respect...but you seem like you feel alienated about almost any of these details and you seem really self-centered.

[Charlie Boy II]

Moonchild stick to women. If you get a cock in you, there'll be no turning back and the males of our species will be stuck with yet another giant pain in the ass. Stick with the fingers and plastic.

[Michael6084]

Moonchild stick to women. If you get a cock in you, there'll be no turning back and the males of our species will be stuck with yet another giant pain in the ass. Stick with the fingers and plastic.

well said

[Junket]

what i dont particularly like is that it plays on stereotypical guys and girls figure that the majority of guys are like that.

It's a joke.

If it didn't play upon the stereotypes nobody would get it.

Then again, it seems like half the people who read it so far didn't quite get it.

[misombra]

i'm a very imperfect girlfriend lol.

[miSSleepy]

O for pete's sake people, it's called HUMOUR, a parody. It's poking fun at society. The point IS that these people are stereotypes. This is not a serious instruction video on what a girlfriend should be like, I thought that would be blatantly obvious. If not, then please note that the video is literally in the humour section of the site.

I saw this video ages ago an was thinking about posting it here just the other day, but someone beat me to it. And I'm amazed at the responses so far...

1. Fine. Just as long as I don't have to look perfect at three in the morning. Or wear uncomfortable shoes. I /hate/ those.

By all means, no-one's going to make you wear uncomfortable shoes.

2. I'd prefer to kick his butt at video games, thank you. It can be an ego thing if I lose. If. But I'm a sore loser anyway, so I suppose I'd just make him feel bad either way.

Wow.

3. And I think parties from which one returns drunk are bad ones to show up at to start with. I can't stand the smell of alcohol on its own, let alone on someone's breath.

4. Beer sucks. Get with tea.

You seem like a great, fun, party animal.

6. Not having sex 'til I'm married, thank you. If he can't keep it in his pants, then he can't keep me.

Good luck with finding a keeper.

7. I wouldn't date him unless I liked his sense of humor.

Then don't base his on your own.

[Moonchild]

Oy, I just don't find things like this at all funny, thank you very much. Nor any joke that pokes at a woman having her place.

Charlie: If I get one in me, it'll mean I've married him, right? Then you don't have to worry, because it'll just be the one poor guy.

Michael: I'm far from a control freak. I actually have a lot of problems making decisions, tend to blame myself whenever something goes wrong, and would prefer that my partner figure out what to do, for example, than myself. Because my best answer is "I don't know." As far as self-centered... Other than the video games, only two things drive my response to that. One, my belief that sex is best left until the wedding night. That's a common one, especially where religion is concerned, so "depriving" a romantic interest is more a moral issue than my being "self-centered". Two, my belief that there is never an excuse for being drunk. If someone goes to a party, fine. But if they manage to lose themselves so much in doing so that they are barely aware of what they're doing? That they'll have a headache from hell in the morning? I understand that drinking is a social activity, but I'm sure that having a soda or something does just as well. So on a moral level, if I were to date a guy who did come back drunk from a party, I believe that there would be some underlying moral conflicts. Personally, I will never drink. I will not impose this on anyone else, but I expect responsibility from the people I choose to interact with on that romantic level, mostly because I see them as responsible people to begin with. Make sense? And as far as the games go, I will always admit to being a sore loser. That's why it's always better to play co-op with me than some sort of PvP. Like in the old Sonic games, where you could have the second controller and someone playing as Tails. And as far as compliments go, I'll be honest. If he's good at something, I /will/ tell him. But it seems stupid and insincere to exaggerate or lie about it.

EDIT: miSSleepy. Got the joke part, put in a serious response. I tend to do that, people will probably get used to it. See bottom comment in the original post, about the laughing. =)

[Junket]

And as far as the games go, I will always admit to being a sore loser.

You seem to be sore about more things than just videogames.

"He can't say that! That's blasphemy! We need to do something about it!"

"But we can't do anything about it."

"Oh...well then I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor..."

[Gigabitch]

I appreciate what you're trying to do, Frasbee, but I don't think it's enough. I think you should start a training camp. Yes, the perfect girlfriend would have beer on tap, but she needs to be taught how to pull a tap beer without filling the glass up with foam, and speaking of the glass, did anyone even mention that it should be frosty-cold from the fridge?

And what about nachos? You could have a nacho-making seminar. In fact, all snack foods should be covered, just in case.

Time might also we well-spent working on faking orgasms and how to tolerate his mom.

Commit to this, Frasbee. I think you've really got something, here.

[TADA]

lmfao...that was a great morning laugh...

[GrkScorp]

Oh wow... lol..

Thank goodness for pre-nupts.. lol.. "because you can never be too sure, on two people staying the same".

See... guys aren't afraid of commitment... they're just terrified about commitment with no way out.

I mean, if someone tells you that they're going to fix your car and make it look & preform like it was brand new, for a small price of $10,000; and you agree.. you're in contract, you're commited.

But if you get your car, and you see that they didn't do anything, or that the work is crappy at best, you ask for your money back, and if you don't get it.. you end up on court. And now you have to find someone else to fix your car.

But the whole marriage system (locks-in) couples to begin with by default. Once locked in, there are HUGE costs to break a marriage apart. So alot of people would rather live unhappily married than happily divorced and re-married. This post by Frasbee.. although just intended to be funny.. brings about something interesting..

Most girls have that as their game-plan.. And even those that don't quickly realize that once their husband is (locked-in) to marriage; there is really no need to see him happy anymore. (Why? Is he going to leave you? Let him dare try! He can't afford to, it's too costly). But with a pre-nupt.. that's not the case.. You preserve all the incentives for both people in the relationship to keep the other person happy.

Lastly, I'm not a fan of beer & nachoes, etc. I dunno about how many things on that list i'd like to agree with; but that's not the perfect girlfriend for me at all; (aside from the sex), but NOT as a FORGIVE ALL tool.. because believe us; [Women forgive but never forget; men forget but never forgive.]