Intelligence Compatibility and The balance

[Indus18]

I had a quick question, because I'm finding the varied responses pretty interesting, and I'm also getting strange reactions due to my own preferences.

When you're looking for a potential girlfriend/boyfriend, what level of intelligence do you look for in relation to your own?

I consider myself exceptionally smart: inherently, at least. But what have I done with those smarts other than get a high GPA? Not much. When I used to talk about my "criteria for a girlfriend" my friends and I would always agree that we wanted women who were intelligent, but just SLIGHTLY less-so than ourselves. Now, however, after dating a girl who I initially thought was smarter than me, but actually turned out to be a not-too bright, extremely hard-worker, I find myself seeking out intelligence as the topmost priority. I really do want a girl who is smarter than me, knows more than me in most every area, because I feel like it would be a constant challenge against the gender-normative roles we as a society have manufactured, and which I've so obliviously followed.

All the same reasons I wanted to be smarter before (being able to win mostly in arguments, being able to feel in charge, etc) have now switched around because I feel like it's too easy to take advantage of being smarter, to become controlling, or parental (especially if said partner puts you in that role, but even otherwise) and I'd much rather be the one to be challenged, and to have to meet the friends that I feel I can't quite measure up to, and to have to constantly work to be at her level. Is this extremely odd?

A girl who talks authoritatively, but not arrogantly about a topic she understands extensively on a highly intellectual level has become a major turn-on for me, and I'm not sure why. Looking forward to your responses (if you can find the "quick question" inside all my rambling that is. )

[DoesntMatter]

(being able to win mostly in arguments

Well for starters winning arguments doesn't say shit about being "smart". But smart girls are cool

[IndiReloaded]

My advice would be to look for someone intelligent enough that you respect them & can have a decent conversation. But that is also kind & hard-working. Its probably best to seek someone who is 'smart' in areas that you are lacking, to give your relationship some balance.

I find it interesting that over 70% of young ppl polled consider themselves 'highly intelligent' but that their objective performance on a something like a math test doesn't come anywhere that close.

There's a sense of entitlement in this generation that, unfortunately, often hampers their success b/c its coupled with an unwillingness to actually work long & hard at something. Find someone who is smart enough to recognize this fact & your golden.

[DoesntMatter]

I find it interesting that over 70% of young ppl polled consider themselves 'highly intelligent' but that their objective performance on a something like a math test doesn't come anywhere that close.

Hahaha... Kids these days, bunch of noobs

[IndiReloaded]

Well for starters winning arguments doesn't say shit about being "smart".

I'm not sure I agree, DM. I think there's more to 'smartness' but being able to defend ideas in an argument is certainly one thing that might be related to intelligence, don't you think?

If not that, then what *would* you consider 'smart'?

[Indus18]

I find it interesting that over 70% of young ppl polled consider themselves 'highly intelligent' but that their objective performance on a something like a math test doesn't come anywhere that close.

Trust me, on this; I'm not going to tout around my test scores on here, but they're all 99th percentile. It's funny that you brought up Math, my favorite subject, as well, because I completed my engineering math through my local university, with straight A's while I was still in High School.

There's a sense of entitlement in this generation that, unfortunately, often hampers their success b/c its coupled with an unwillingness to actually work long & hard at something. Find someone who is smart enough to recognize this fact & your golden.

As far as that statement goes, I couldn't agree with you more. I'm working on ridding myself of that plague-like affliction as well.

[Gribble]

It's funny just how many people I know who are in the 99th percentile of one thing or another. Do I surround myself with brilliant minds or is the 99th percentile not really so special?

[DoesntMatter]

If not that, then what *would* you consider 'smart'?

People who recognize that they are really not that smart

But also, problem solvers. And another class of people, the unscrupulous who work towards money. It's smart of a different kind.

But arguments are WAY too much about being quick on your feet, using witty insults, sounding good, etc.

[IndiReloaded]

Engineering students have to learn the same math as the science students (usually they take the physics math in 1st/2nd years), so I think he's for real. 99th percentile in that isn't easy.

[DoesntMatter]

It's funny just how many people I know who are in the 99th percentile of one thing or another. Do I surround myself with brilliant minds or is the 99th percentile not really so special?

Haha yeah 99 comes up quite a bit... Only universal measurement would be something like the SAT that everyone can relate to. But two thirds of the test is English now, what bullshit!

[IndiReloaded]

People who recognize that they are really not that smart

But also, problem solvers. And another class of people, the unscrupulous who work towards money. It's smart of a different kind.

That first statement is nonsense, DM. I'm smart, by all the objective criteria that society has for that label. You're saying I'm *not* b/c I say that I am? Lol, that's twisted logic.

Problems solvers *may* be smart. Or they may be brute-stubborn & simply won't quit. Same for those who make money.

I don't think I agree with your criteria, DM.

But arguments are WAY too much about being quick on your feet, using witty insults, sounding good, etc.

Hmmm, so you wouldn't consider someone who is able to sway opinions with rhetoric smart? I think I'd disagree with this also.

[DoesntMatter]

Indi, I disagree with myself, so take it with a grain of salt

[IndiReloaded]

Indi, I disagree with myself, so take it with a grain of salt

Don't give up! I *want* to know what you think. Who gives a shit what I think... I'm blowing smoke out my ass most of what I say, lol. And I take everything on this site with more than a little salt, BTW.

[Gribble]

Is an illiterate but enormously competent man unintelligent? Is a mathematician who can't speak to girls or make friends an idiot?

Beethoven, from what I've heard, was a jackass. He couldn't get along with anyone. He was a dope. But would anyone dare call Beethoven less than brilliant?

I feel intelligence is a broad term. It encompasses a number of skills and abilities. There are plenty of people out there who've never set foot on a campus but who are every bit as intelligent as a 4.0 grad student. And there are plenty of students who are experts at their particular field but don't stand a chance in hell of winning an argument.

[IndiReloaded]

In all your examples, Gribble, all those ppl had a talent that they *worked their asses off at*. Cool.