How Can You Separate The Need To Be Alone While Your In Love?

[icarus9]

IT FEELS INCREDIBLY HEAVY.
EVERY TIME I LET GO
ITS INCREDIBLY HARD.

I KNOW IT ISN'T FAIR TO FOLLOW WHAT YOUR HEART SAYS
WHEN YOUR MIND ISN'T SURE.
BUT I KEEP FOLLOWING MY OWN SELFISHNESS
FOR MY OWN SATISFACTION.

I LOVE YOU. AND IT HURTS CAUSE I CANT GIVE YOU ALL OF ME
IS THAT LOVE?
HOW CAN YOU SEPARATE THE NEED TO BE ALONE WHILE YOUR IN LOVE?
HOW CAN YOU DOUBT SOMETHING WHEN YOU ARE CERTAIN ABOUT SOMEBODY?
YOU DOUBT OTHER THINGS ABOUT YOU, ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOUR
NOT CAPABLE OF, SCARED OF NOT LETTING IT GO FULLY FOR SOMEBODY
YOU KNOW DESERVES IT.

WHY AM I AFRAID TO LET MYSELF GO?
LET MYSELF FALL SO DEEPLY?
WHY CANT I FOLLOW THE PATH OF SUNSHINE, FLOWERS, RAINBOWS
AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF?
WHY DO I CHOOSE TO GET HURT, BEATEN DOWN AND FEEL SCARED OF
BEING ALONE?

I LOST CONTACT OF MYSELF.
DO I FEEL MUCH STRONGER WHEN I'M ALONE?
DO I KNOW ENOUGH?

I KNOW, I DO NOT KNOW ENOUGH TO BE WITH SOMEBODY, AND THAT ISN'T FAIR.
THE WORSE THING ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEBODY IS WHEN YOU KNOW IN THE BACK
OF YOUR HEAD, YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HURTING THAT PERSON BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ARE. AND TO STAY WITH HIM HAVING
THAT KNOWLEDGE ISN'T FAIR, IT ISN'T RIGHT.

THEY SAY "YOU CANT JUST BE THE WAY YOU ARE, COZ YOUR NOT A VICTIM OF IT." YOU CREATE YOUR OWN CAUSE IN EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE." BUT THE DECISION COMES IN DEEP WHEN YOU ARE NOT FULLY AWARE, FULLY ACCEPTING THE THINGS AHEAD OF YOU.

I'M LOST. I LOST HIM. I LOST IT ALL AGAIN.

[IndiReloaded]

Space in a relationship is healthy. From a book in my library: The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

[Promiscuousboy]

IT FEELS INCREDIBLY HEAVY.
EVERY TIME I LET GO
ITS INCREDIBLY HARD.

I KNOW IT ISN'T FAIR TO FOLLOW WHAT YOUR HEART SAYS
WHEN YOUR MIND ISN'T SURE.
BUT I KEEP FOLLOWING MY OWN SELFISHNESS
FOR MY OWN SATISFACTION.

I LOVE YOU. AND IT HURTS CAUSE I CANT GIVE YOU ALL OF ME
IS THAT LOVE?
HOW CAN YOU SEPARATE THE NEED TO BE ALONE WHILE YOUR IN LOVE?
HOW CAN YOU DOUBT SOMETHING WHEN YOU ARE CERTAIN ABOUT SOMEBODY?
YOU DOUBT OTHER THINGS ABOUT YOU, ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOUR
NOT CAPABLE OF, SCARED OF NOT LETTING IT GO FULLY FOR SOMEBODY
YOU KNOW DESERVES IT.

WHY AM I AFRAID TO LET MYSELF GO?
LET MYSELF FALL SO DEEPLY?
WHY CANT I FOLLOW THE PATH OF SUNSHINE, FLOWERS, RAINBOWS
AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF?
WHY DO I CHOOSE TO GET HURT, BEATEN DOWN AND FEEL SCARED OF
BEING ALONE?

I LOST CONTACT OF MYSELF.
DO I FEEL MUCH STRONGER WHEN I'M ALONE?
DO I KNOW ENOUGH?

I KNOW, I DO NOT KNOW ENOUGH TO BE WITH SOMEBODY, AND THAT ISN'T FAIR.
THE WORSE THING ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEBODY IS WHEN YOU KNOW IN THE BACK
OF YOUR HEAD, YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HURTING THAT PERSON BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ARE. AND TO STAY WITH HIM HAVING
THAT KNOWLEDGE ISN'T FAIR, IT ISN'T RIGHT.

THEY SAY "YOU CANT JUST BE THE WAY YOU ARE, COZ YOUR NOT A VICTIM OF IT." YOU CREATE YOUR OWN CAUSE IN EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE." BUT THE DECISION COMES IN DEEP WHEN YOU ARE NOT FULLY AWARE, FULLY ACCEPTING THE THINGS AHEAD OF YOU.

I'M LOST. I LOST HIM. I LOST IT ALL AGAIN.

Jesus christ my girl says she feels that exact same thing, and is one of the reasons why she thinks it isn't right for the two of us to get together (yet). Look up the topic "Where do you say we are at?"
What the hell is this feeling??
Is that you? sorry I'm no help, but maybe you can help me. I don't know what my question is though..

[Gigabitch]

I'M LOST. I LOST HIM. I LOST IT ALL AGAIN.

Fortunately, you DO still have yourself to come back to. You'll be okay, once you regain your balance. You may have lost him, but you've gained something, if only the knowledge that you contributed to the problem.

So, what happened, exactly?

[icarus9]

hahaha. for [Promiscuousboy] I should ask you the same question. Is that you? No.. Im pretty sure its not you Im talking about the guy I dated hardly go online.

As for you, I think if she really decided about it.. let her be. She is not ready and you know it. The more you keep trying to work it out and be something else, she might say yes but sooner or later she'll bring it up again, same issue then you'll get hurt. Because you have the drive to be with her, but she's not. [maybe a little, but not enough to carry a relationship]

You wouldnt want this to happen, to where you guys were having such a great time, good laughs, great whole week for let say 7 days.. then after that.. she'll bring it up again, "oh.. Im not ready, or Im confused." Then you'll start doubting yourself if its you, when its not you.. its her. She has to deal something insider her that you cant help her with. She might need to experience the need to miss you in order to determine what she really feels about you.

I wish Im strong enough to actually let it go... and go through what I should do. But everytime I see his face, I break down and seem to loose it all, what I believed in, and what I've planned. I dont want to hurt him, but Im hurting him even more if I stay with him when I know where not going anywhere at this point. I have the need to find myself, who I really am. To know I can find my own foundation as an individual without having someone else.