Weight gain

[tooxshort]

Hello, ladies ... (and the bi males),

As some of you may know, I've recently gotten married. Lately, I've noticed that my wife (in pictures and videos) has been putting on some pounds. (She has also admitted to this.) I've told her to work out, but she refuses to and gets super pissed off that I'd even bring it to her attention.

I know it seems shallow or whatnot, but I do believe that a man should be attracted to his wife, and if she does become obese over the next few years, I'd go apeshit. It sounds horrible, but I'm not into fat women.

So, how do I get her to step up and start working out for her own benefit, as well as mine. Even the "health benefits" speech didn't work. Yeah, I probably made a mistake by commenting on her weight gain, but don't I get that right since we're married?

Gimme some pointers on how to deal... THANKS!
E

[Gigabitch]

Is she knocked up? If so, you are in biiiiig trouble for pointing out the weight gain.

When is she getting here? It would be so much easier to deal with this if you lived in the same house- you could eat together and go to the gym together, and having regular sex would make her more aware of the changes taking place.

Thing is, though, even though they don't actually say "for fatter or for thinner" in your wedding vows, it's implied.

I would couch all future commentary in terms of concern for her health. If you MUST say something about it, say, "Oh, sweetie. Are you getting sad because we're apart and not taking care of yourself?"

[blue_butterfly]

If she only gained a few pounds, it doesn't mean she'll become obese and telling her to go and work out might have been a bit too hard on her. You do indeed have the right to comment upon this, but you should know that women are generally quite sensitive about this subject.

So instead of just telling her to lose weight, try to observe first if her gaining weight becomes a tendency and if so, rather do something about it together with her (for instance jogging, long walks and so on).

[vashti]

What does her mother's figure look like?

[squirrley]

Tooxshort, I was cruising the pics and saw yours, and was like holy shit Too got married!!! Well I have to say congrats first of all!! Its a big step but way to go for you guys.

Ok, Ive gained weight since Ive gotten married, hell alot of weight and almost have lost all of it. My husband was so sweet about it and NEVER took my spirits down. I was and am still suffering back problems. Hence no activity and too tired to cook so we ate out all the time. He suggested and bought that damn diet you order online and its all pre-made shit, yea shit. That lasted 2 weeks BUT it helped me get going again. He also gained weight but he can lose it like nothing.

I honestly can tell you once you've married you become complacement in your marriage, VERY comfortable. Although you guys arent living together right now, her own self confidence isnt an issue anymore. She knows you love her NO MATTER WHAT!! Youve accepted her NO MATTER WHAT! This is such a common thing in marriages. But only SHE can take the initiative to lose it or stop it. No matter how you say it, she will become defensive, its a womans nature. Dont buy her a gym membership either. Find an activity she enjoys, or ask to start taking walks with you. Things will be easier once youre together full time but in the meantime you have to watch your p's and q's.

It will ok. And yes you have to be attracted to your wife, but at the same time its not her weight which you proposed to remember it was a combination of other things and certainly not that, but hang in there, some of us women fluctuate with our weight throughout our lives.

[tooxshort]

What does her mother's figure look like?

Her mom is around 60 and isn't slim ... but the rest of her siblings are ... even her 2 sisters that have had children are much slimmer than she is, at this point.

But yeah, I don't think I should mention it again ... I think I made her feel like crap. I've been pretty shitty to everyone lately ... been stressed off my ass.

Anyhow ... I was a dickhead ... I guess I'll have to make it up to her somehow ... Thanks for the responses, guys ...

E

[Henry123]

I dont know. It seems some people stop taking care of themselves when they get married. They begin to lose it pretty badly. It happens to both men and women.

tooxshort if things get worse maybe you have to scare her by threatening to leave her for other women then?

[Gigabitch]

tooxshort if things get worse maybe you have to scare her by threatening to leave her for other women then?

Henry! No! Bad Henry!

Shorty, I think you need to accentuate the positive, here. Yeah, you're probably going to be making up for that little slip of the tongue for a LONG time. May as well start now.

[miSSleepy]

i would definitely agree with Squirrely. Don't buy gym memberships etc, you get involved and do something with her, say you'll both feel better if you went out and did something. If you ask her to go do something on her own, she may feel isolated and unmotivated, and she'll resent you for it.
Also, women DO fluctuate.

[squirrley]

Another thing to remember tooxshort, when were up there in weight
gain we DONT feel good about ourselves, and we do give alot of negative self talk, its rough. We have SOME confidence but most is gone. So give her a break sweetie. It will be ok.

[misombra]

Her mom is around 60 and isn't slim ... but the rest of her siblings are ... even her 2 sisters that have had children are much slimmer than she is, at this point.

But yeah, I don't think I should mention it again ... I think I made her feel like crap. I've been pretty shitty to everyone lately ... been stressed off my ass.

Anyhow ... I was a dickhead ... I guess I'll have to make it up to her somehow ... Thanks for the responses, guys ...

E

you guys need to be slapped sometimes.

is she here? i bet if she was there with you you wouldn't even notice the extra weight.

damn shorty, leave a girl alone. ain't nobody perfect.

[Illusional]

i personally think that you should have this right to tell her as you please. you two are married now and feelings should be stated openly. true, it might be hurtful, but i'd rather know the truth rather than being lied too.

the thing is, i want a thing girl, but if she does put on some weight, that's manageable. putting on an extra 100 is where i'd slap her fat ass everytime we would have sex just to see some jigglage.

raverboy

[Charlie Boy II]

The terrifying thing is there's really nothing you can do. If a woman decides she's not going to keep it together, that's it. I'm haunted by the thought of having to drag a once slim but now obese wife around behind me through the remainder of our days. Recoiling at her touch, looking on with horror as she tries to squeeze herself into a party frock. Pretending not to notice her pigish habits and sedentary lifestyle.

Let the record show that I'm not talking about a couple of pounds with age. I'm talking about the big one: tuck shop arms, barrel thighs, volley ball jowels and a gut that cascases down her pelvis in waves. Obesity.

[vashti]

How much weight are you talking about, shorty? You haven't been married that long... how can it be more than a few pounds?

Also, are you sure she isn't pregnant?

She may be simply depressed. The man she loves lives in another country! She is a married woman who is all alone. She can't very well go running around with her single friends the way she used to, dancing with other men like her unmarried girlfriends can, etc. She has to sit at home alone, doing not much of anything. You are gonna have to get this girl to live with you, and then you can go out and do things together that are fun and active.

[Junket]

The man she loves lives in another country!

Yeah, dude. You seriously have to do something about this. You know long distance isn't sustainable. Do something about it. If you can't do it now, start planning with her how you will. Set milestones, goals to reach that'll bring you both that much closer to being together. It'll help you both to be working towards a mutual goal.