suffering...

[Mish]

What I was really getting at was all I offered was my whole heart to the degree of what people like to think of as unconditional love, but extremely rarely fathom or practice it.

Well, that's the thing

If you offer her your whole heart, what are YOU going to be using for the time being? This is why we never give away our hearts to people. We share them little by little in little piece. And then with time the sharing becomes more frequent and the pieces become a little bigger. If you truly love her you could do this for her. Give her selfless little piece in ways she would appreciate it without expecting anything in return. And who knows what will happen in the future. Just don't scare her with four letter words. Don't make her think she has an obligation to reciprocate.

I guess this bring us back to my last question. Do you still see each other somewhere? (work, uni, neighbors). I also assume she is single, right?

[Moonchild]

...There's a reason I don't tell the person I love that I love them, not but the once. Because my best friend knows and doesn't mind, and I continue to be here without expecting anything at all. I simply continue to be a friend, despite everything. But you know, it's a mutual effort. It works for me because we're both willing to set my love aside and be friends; it doesn't work for you because your feelings make her uncomfortable, it seems. Good luck with all this, though. Really.

[SONOIL]

Uh-huh. And you ruined this by being.... completely open and telling her the truth.

Look, RA, let it go. Just let it go. It's going to eat you from the inside out like a cancer. You can't fix it, and clutching the dead thing to your breast and moaning "Mea culpa!" ad nauseum isn't doing you any good.

This is my favorite girl... Right here!.... You've nailed again Giga. P.S. Sometimes I wish I could bite you...

[Robert Angier]

We are, but probably were friends socially now.

[IndiReloaded]

But Giga's advice was to let it go. She wasn't making any kind of judgement about whether it was okay to tell her your feelings. I'm being highly interpretive here, but I suspect that Giga thinks it was perfectly fine to tell her you love her. Which, of course, it is. You do, and that's your 'truth' of the matter.

Now, if you were expecting a certain outcome & didn't get it, well, that's another thing. And I think that's what she is advising to let go. So am I, for that matter.

FWIW, I disagree w/Lionos about it being foolish to tell her this. Unconditional love (if that is actually what you feel, I have a feeling you're not quite clear on that) is never wrong. She just isn't ready to accept it, for whatever reasons that are hers to sort out. Mbe she will one day, or not, but that's her issue to deal with.

And Mish, yes, you can indeed give all your heart. And still have love to give. Its not a zero-sum game.

[cheeze_guy]

When it comes down to it you need to relise that it is better for you that the friendship is over. I fell in love with a friend a long time ago and she didn't feel the same way at all. I'm a great guy and all that crap but not the one for her. We are still friends today but obviously after she said that we stopped chillin so much. I know that if I had kept staying her amazing guy friend who she can tell everything it would drive me nuts because I wanted to be the one who is her everything not some other guy. You may want to blame yourself for telling her how u feel but isn't that wha true friendship is? Telling the other person exactly how u feel and not worry about bein judged. Yer better off man and you'll see sooner then later that that's the way it is! Have a good one! And don't beat yerself up for the way u feel!