confused

[skyper]

hi everyone, i would appreciate some advice if anyone is willing to give any.

a little back story: been with my partner for 5 years, lived together for 3. we met when we lived 350 miles away from each other and went long distance..then moved in together. never had any major problems.

over the last few weeks the subject of marriage has been cropping up here and there, we will see something on the tv about weddings and he will say something like "when we get married it wont be like that" etc
we have talked about marriage and he has said on a number of occasions that he wants to grow old with me etc..

last night before going to sleep we were talking and again marriage came up, he told me that he knows he will marry me, and that he sees us being married "in the next 10 years or so" because he would love to save up money for a "wedding to remember, a great honeymoon, and a solid future"

thats great, it really is, because for me its not the wedding that matters, its the marriage that follows, i dont want to sound selfish in any way, but am i really expected to be with someone for 15 years before even getting a proposal? by that time i will be 36 years old!

by the way, as a side note, i have known from the beginning of the relationship he is not one to get engaged, he is the kind of guy to ask and then do it.

am i selfish to even be thinking of this? i mean, we have been together for 5 years already, i feel bad for feeling this way.

[gHEXjt]

Good lord. I think most women would dump a guy if they weren't proposed to in 5 years, and you're talking about being with someone for 15 years before marriage. For all intents and purposes you are already married, you live together, have for years, you are married, there's just no official label on your relationship. It's not selfish to think about getting married, you want to and its about time you do.

[vashti]

If I am doing the math correctly, you are only 21. I don't think you are old enough to be thinking about marriage... That shouldn't happen until you are (ideally) in your late 20s. It's too bad you are living together so young, because it sort of makes you feel like you should be making marriage decisions younger than you really should be.

[Gigabitch]

She's 26.

One of my best friends waited nine years for her man to finally be ready to do this. It paid off, they've had a good marriage for ten years and it's looking like it will stay that way, but she was just about pulling her hair out trying to warm up his cold feet.
Give him an ultimatum- tell him you don't want to be single at 30. That's more than reasonable.