how to deal with unwanted crushes?

[anachronistic]

for the time being you could just barricade the door with your bed. that's what i did back when i had a girlfriend to keep my little brother from walking in on our hot, passionate sex.

[Tiay]

I know, you can leave a bunch of tacks/nails/and broken glass in front of your door.

It'd give ya a warning at least, and maybe debilitate them for a little bit.

hah, I like your style. Though, that'd only work if they were barefoot.

for the time being you could just barricade the door with your bed. that's what i did back when i had a girlfriend to keep my little brother from walking in on our hot, passionate sex.

yeah, I blocked the door last night. And it was a good thing too, because I was woken up at 2 in the morning because he was shouting my name and trying to get to my room- I gather from what I heard though, my housemates stopped him before he even got to the door.

[Mish]

Tiay

You know what you need?

You need a loyal 24/7 LF Guard in your bedroom

[Tiay]

aw

well, in lieu of that I had kept a nice strong deo spray nearby. Probably not as good as pepper spray, though, I wouldn't want to get any in my face.

[anachronistic]

yeah, I blocked the door last night. And it was a good thing too, because I was woken up at 2 in the morning because he was shouting my name and trying to get to my room- I gather from what I heard though, my housemates stopped him before he even got to the door.

it's good that your housemates stopped him, but honestly, it sounds like he needs to spend some time in jail. he's an animal.

[vashti]

I think you need to take this seriously. All he needs is one drunken night in which you forget to be on the defense, and he is going to be all over you.

[Tiay]

yeah, you're right vash. I don't actually drink alcohol at all.. but, that doesn't mean i'm always on-guard.

[vashti]

I meant HIM being drunk, and less willing to accept your rejection.

[IndiReloaded]

yeah, I blocked the door last night. And it was a good thing too, because I was woken up at 2 in the morning because he was shouting my name and trying to get to my room- I gather from what I heard though, my housemates stopped him before he even got to the door.

Tiay, you're trying to blow this off as nothing, but if I were at you at your age, I'd be scared. I remember a guy in college acting this way towards this chick he broke off with (and we got to hear all the drama), but in that case she was equally responsible for tormenting him. He was a crazy drunk & ended up dropping out, tho I think he harassed her around the campus for a few months after. But you don't have that history w/this fellow, right? This is a stalking happening.

Skip a class if you must, but get that lock. Personally, I'd also be confronting this fellow, in a public place. I wouldn't yell (its better to stay calm, actually) but I would let him know absolutely you're not interested & that your next step is to log his harassment with the police. Seriously. Then, stop talking to him entirely. Ignore him & his attempts to get your attention, so long as you are protected & he's not escalating. He's likely looking for attention & you don't want to feed that beast.

Is this fellow mentally disturbed in some way? I don't mean his obvious asshole-ness, I mean actually ill in some way? You need to know this, it makes a difference how you should handle things.

Here's something for you to read:

[url]http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/3583/tips_for_handling_a_stalker_ex.html[/url]

[Gigabitch]

No offense to your parents, Tiay, but this is why people should think twice about homeschooling. You've spent most of your life around people who acted right, and now you are unprepared for this monkey boy. I learned how to deflect unwanted attention by junior high.

It seems like you think you owe this guy some common courtesy. You don't. he has gone so far over the line it's ridiculous. I don't know how things are in Ireland, but it can't be that different from here, and if a guy was doing that shit here, he'd expect to get smacked down with a baseball bat.

Tell your brother.

[misombra]

i think tiay likes it.

[gartlas]

Get a swiss army knife.I would recommend victorinox (I once cut myself and didnt realise for 10 minutes) next time knocks on your door and starts yelling stab a random place and it'll go straight through either his hand or the door.alternatively get a jack russell for a bit.theyre small ,but vicious little buggers .it might bite his balls off and I bet that'd stop him from being interested anymore [=

[IndiReloaded]

i think tiay likes it.

God, Miso I love you. I have to say I've been wondering the same thing.

Sure this isn't true, Tiay? Its a ****ed up, dangerous way to get attention if so.

[misombra]

God, Miso I love you. I have to say I've been wondering the same thing.

Sure this isn't true, Tiay? Its a ****ed up, dangerous way to get attention if so.

indi-san, the very first lesson in being a master of man, bringer of pain, is that sonnets and slow dancers are not like us. they are a different sort of being.

[Tiay]

vash:
oh, right, *him* drunk, sorry.. yeah, that's definitely possible then.

---


Indi:
of course I am scared. And this is not normal. Because my housemates do often have parties or people just come over, it's not unusual for it to be a bit noisy, or for friends to try calling me on some misguided attempt to get me to join the party. But this isn't the same. oh, and no, I don't have any kind of history with him.
But you have to see, hardly anybody in real life take me seriously on this.. "eh, boys will be boys" and such, which in turn makes me feel like it isn't serious. I got my housemates to ban him from the house right after the first incident, but it didn't stick. I also got up this morning to find all the lights on, and the front door unlocked- this is pretty common.

I got the bolt, btw.

I wouldn't say mentally disturbed.. but no, he's not *right*. He has a basic lack of respect for other people's privacy and right to make decisions. I'm told he used the giant fire hose at college to fill water balloons. That's exactly the type of disregard for other's property I'm talking about.

Thanks for the link, It was insightful.

--

giga: eh, none taken, i'm sure. yeah it has drawbacks. And you're spot on- people around me always conformed to the same basic rules.
I almost expect him to have some kind of good reason or explanation for everything (silly, I know). I'm told last night when my housemates stopped him from coming up, he innocently said he "just wanted to apologise" which is obviously bullshit because you don't apologise for intentionally waking someone up by waking them up *again*.

---

sombra and indi again:

why the are you getting the impression that I like all this? This is bugging me, because that's not it at all. yes of course I like attention but I did not this kind, and I did not lead either of them on. Maybe I don't react like other's would; I'm not used to being in any sort of physical danger, to the extent that I simply don't register it.

----

gartlas:

I actually have a leatherman. And a doberman.



------

more news: I talked to the girl next door, the one that the guys have practically been mobbing. Last night,she said, he was knocking on her wall and jumping up and down and such outside her room, trying to keep her awake. And then he'd ask "did I make a lot of noise last night?" with a smirk the next morning. She has threatened him with the police, restraining orders and everything, but his attitude to that is "pfft, go ahead, bring it on!". We all know the police won't do shit here.
So, she wants to move out completely, I'm trying to get her to stay and get *them* kicked out, i'd back her up in talking to the landlord and everything, but she's scared. I suggested that she tell our head of department at college, but she said it'd sound too much like an excuse for not having work done on time. Should I go and tell him, or will they think it was her who ratted them out and take it out on her somehow?
I checked on her this evening, but she had presumably gone to spend the night somewhere else.