how to deal with unwanted crushes?

[Mish]

vash:
more news: I talked to the girl next door, the one that the guys have practically been mobbing. Last night,she said, he was knocking on her wall and jumping up and down and such outside her room, trying to keep her awake. And then he'd ask "did I make a lot of noise last night?" with a smirk the next morning. She has threatened him with the police, restraining orders and everything, but his attitude to that is "pfft, go ahead, bring it on!". We all know the police won't do shit here.
So, she wants to move out completely, I'm trying to get her to stay and get *them* kicked out, i'd back her up in talking to the landlord and everything, but she's scared. I suggested that she tell our head of department at college, but she said it'd sound too much like an excuse for not having work done on time. Should I go and tell him, or will they think it was her who ratted them out and take it out on her somehow?
I checked on her this evening, but she had presumably gone to spend the night somewhere else.

Tiay, I think the reason some people mentioned some silly things like you liking all of this because you are in a particularly vulnerable, sensitive and I would go as far as to say dangerous situation, but your actions do not mirror the seriousness of the situation you are in. People here are obviously very concerned for your well being and would hate if anything bad was to happen to you.

If I were you I would be doing the following with a millitary precision and consistency:

1. Team meeting with all members of your dorm, initiation of consitent lock up rules with security on the top of the agenda
2. Minutes of all events of happennings surroundings these boys, with everything they do consistently recorded (All paper work to be signed by all dorm members and additional witnesses where relevant).
3. Minutes sent to the landlord once a day with consitent calls for action.
4. Police to be called in with every higher than average disturbance from the boys, copies of records to be made and sent to landlord.
5. If landlord doesn't respond, all copies of minutes and police records to be sent to strata and other places such as colledge offices with calls for action

Start doing this and I guarantee you there will be results. The only reason they continue carrying on is because there is no action to offset their behavior. Be prepared for any escalations from them. Baseball bat in the corner, pepper spray in the drawer notepad with a pen on the desk.

[vashti]

What a crappy way to live. Can you move out, Tiay?

[Mish]

Crappy? Meh it could be fun. If I was there I'd make it into a competition with a final goal of getting them out of the place as quickly as posible. You could even place bets on the date they leave.

If this goal was met, I'd hallmark it as a tremendous achievement. Straight into the (informal) Resume

[anachronistic]

more news: I talked to the girl next door, the one that the guys have practically been mobbing. Last night,she said, he was knocking on her wall and jumping up and down and such outside her room, trying to keep her awake.

TIAY!

That is the perfect time to call the police. DO NOT HESITATE, EVER. They WILL do something about it. Don't even warn them, just call the police while their banging on the door and making a ruckass of things. They'll be caught red handed and sent straight to the pens where they belong! Then you have the opportunity to get a restraining order, press charges, or what have you.

You need to tell the landlord, the head of the college, everyone in authority that can do something about this. When you do, be very open about EVERYTHING that has happened, including rumors and suggestive body language. These dickheads you're dealing with do not belong in the civilized world. It's time someone puts an end to this garbage. I think you have the courage to do so.

If you let this continue, eventually your property may end up getting vandalized, or worse, someone getting hurt. Don't let it happen when you have the chance.

You should also be keeping a record of everything that happened, keeping any nasty messages they send you via email, phone, whatever, any evidence that will support you.

[Junket]

Why is it so often girls are such pussies?

[anachronistic]

Why is it so often girls are such pussies?

It's not just girls. It's people.

[vashti]

Tiay is from a small town/village environment, I believe. I would guess that would make her less likely to believe there are really BAD and DANGEROUS people out there. She probably hasn't really experienced this kind of thing before. She'll learn.

::hugs Tiay::

[Tiay]

Mishanya:
yeah, I simply don't know how to react in situations like this. I bet if somebody stopped me on the street and said "i'm gonna stab you" I'd probably just stand there and say "uhh, what? why?". I assure you, the problem is not that i'm a foolish attention whore, it's that I'm naive, and I just didn't get the training you guys probably all got in school. Think of an 8-year old talking to strangers and not sensing the danger, even after being told. Yup that's me.

Thanks for the excellent action plan, too. I'll do my best. I'm sure they'll be gone soon.

vash: aw, ::hugs:: Thanks for understanding. Yeah, I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, and stayed there till I was 18.

Yes In theory I could move out, but this is the perfect location and I've been here since second year, I'd like to think I can't just be scared away from it. Also, the girl next door had been looking for another place, but said there was none to be found. Our course is away from the main campus, so there isn't much student housing to be had.


lilwing: That's exactly what I was telling her to do. But you don't know the police here, I can't imagine they'd do much more than give him a good telling off. Also, can you imagine what they'd do to her after the police left? So, she just pretended to be asleep.

[IndiReloaded]

Crappy? Meh it could be fun. If I was there I'd make it into a competition with a final goal of getting them out of the place as quickly as posible. You could even place bets on the date they leave.

Mish, you read Tiay's bgkgrd. She can barely recognize potential stalkers, much less figure out a way to outpysch these guys. That's not a criticism BTW, Tiay, I think you are very sweet. I'm just sorry you are going thru this.

Miso: LOL, hai Miso-sensei!

And Tiay, you silly, Miso & I only said those things to goad you into getting the lock b/c long 'sonnets' weren't working & we don't want you getting jumped by this guy. Ireland is pretty far for us to be going to kick some sorry guys ass.

[IndiReloaded]

lilwing: That's exactly what I was telling her to do. But you don't know the police here, I can't imagine they'd do much more than give him a good telling off. Also, can you imagine what they'd do to her after the police left? So, she just pretended to be asleep.

I dunno what to make of this anymore, really. Glad you got the lock. If you have a digital camera, or phone w/a video, you might want to record them in the act next time. At least you'll have proof if somethng more serious happens & you do decide to go to the police.

[Junket]

Even if the police "only" give them a good talking to, there'll be a report on it.

If they're called multiple times, it'll at least prove it wasn't a one time incident. Especially if multiple individuals have complaints.

EDIT: And about the pussies comment: It frustrates the hell out of me when women have these kind of issues and don't do shit about them. My girlfriend included. It's stressing when you're too far to do anything about it.

[anachronistic]

lilwing: That's exactly what I was telling her to do. But you don't know the police here, I can't imagine they'd do much more than give him a good telling off. Also, can you imagine what they'd do to her after the police left? So, she just pretended to be asleep.

Tiay, I have been in this situation before. Imagine what they will do if you DON'T call the police, and allow this to continue. I can tell you from experience it would be a lot worse than if you called them. You should seriously start calling the police every time it happens. Record what is happening while it is happening, that was a good idea. A good telling them off will probably scare the shit out of them, and as frasbee said, there'd be a report on it.

[misombra]

cops are worthless.

tiay needs a gun.

[anachronistic]

cops are worthless.

tiay needs a gun.

You're such a naughty, evil animal.







I have a boner.

[Tiay]

I think I need to clarify that this last incident happened to the girl next door, not me, and SHE didn't call the police despite my advice. I'm not saying her reasons were right, just that she was scared to. I was probably sound asleep at the time.

(more later; gotta get to class atm)