how to deal with unwanted crushes?

[Tiay]

so, some back story: two new guys moved in next door to us this semester. ("Us" meaning me and my two housemates, we're good friends)

gosh.. where to start.. I could write an essay on all the childish/mean things those guys have done. They go to the same college course as me, although in different years. And these guys have been picking the people who were already living next door to us the last two semesters. Constant. Verbal. Assault. You're ugly you look like trash you're so behind you need to grow up I don't understand how [boyfriend] puts up with you, etc. Even to the extent of invading privacy, and literally making the girl cry and then laughing in her face.

(When we asked him why she was upset and wanted to move out, he told us there was no reason and she was just a hater... later we got the whole story from her.)

Even though she knows the landlord since last year and could get the guys kicked out, she's literally afraid of what they might do to get her back.


one night I was sleeping my bed minding my own damn business, and wake up to find one of the guys just standing at the foot of my bed. Half-naked. I chased him out. He doesn't get why we can't be "friends". They simply have no respect for personal space, no regard for other's feelings...

One of them found a lifesize cardboard cutout of me (don't ask, I did it for a friend's project last year) and thought it was the funniest thing in the world. I'm told it ended up in his bedroom...


But, most disturbingly, the other of the two has an obsession with me. At first I thought he was really nice... he wanted help with something computery, and so I helped and we talked a bit just about the course and the lecturers and such.

But the more I hear about what's been going on next door, the more I am actually freaking scared. I've heard through the grapevine that he wants to do me, and that whenever he's out all he says is tiay this and tiay that.

My housemate told me on friday that the night before he'd said he was going to track me down, and sure enough I saw him walk past the class room and do a double take, staring at me for a sec. I ignored it and he must've had something else to do so he left, and thus I escaped because I had to pack and go home anyway.

Bleargh. Why? Is there some kind of subconscious mental radiation that I exude that makes guys that at first seem nice go all psycho and try to "get" me in the worst possible ways? And YES, he knows I'm not single, I always mention that and at this point I don't know how I could make it any clearer.

so yeah, I wish I knew judo so that I could kick his butt.

I mainly just needed to vent.. but if anybody has advice on how to deal with situations like this, please, bring it on.

I'm afraid that I'll be all friendly the next time I see him, and I hate myself for it. I wanna shout "your behaviour is despicable and I want nothing to do with you!" but I bet he'll just look all innocent and weasel his way out of it, because I don't know the details of the drama next door I can't argue on technicalities.. and I shouldn't have to.. bah

[misombra]

call jenster over and have her kick their asses.

[Gribble]

Or get a tough looking boyfriend.

I could scowl and give them a squinty-eyed stare for you.

[Junket]

Talk to the landlord about it.

Seriously, that's some weird shit you have goin' on there.

You and your mates should gang up on them.

[misombra]

personally i would get a really big, scary, attack dog.

[EmoBlackBelt]

Two words: Restraining. Order.

And if that doesn't work, a swift kick in the balls should do just fine.

[Tiay]

Yeah, that's what I was telling the girl next door; Some of the shit they did is downright illegal, and she can literally call the police and so on. But, one of my housemates pointed out, the police in our town is a bit crappy.. I'm not sure they'd really do anything. And what are they gonna do? shadow her 24/7?

As my bf remarked, my luck with living situations is bound to improve. First the old lady who wanted me home by 6 and made me eat horrible food, then the creepy NYC landlord where I found a syringe in my pillowcase.. and now, psycho guys next door.

[anachronistic]

stay away from them. i don't know how they'd get into your room if you have a PADLOCK on it!

and if they do get in your face, invade your privacy and what not, call the police. atleast you will get a record on them. pretty soon you'll have enough records to do something about it. let's just hope it ends before that. try to keep a record of all conversations and make a timeline of everything that happens/happened. even if/when you call the police.

don't hesitate to call the police. EVER.

[Tiay]

heh yeah, I thought of that too. But they go to the same college, and the same course. The obsessed one is literally just up the hall from me.

[squirrley]

You could creep him back! Start acting like he does and stalk his sorry ass! Im just kidding, he sounds like someone I wouldnt want instigate for anything. Id try to ignore him as much as possible. And if anything else comes up call the police. I get you guys are afraid of the consequences of calling them out to the landlord, however I dont know if legally he could kick them out, oh wait you said theyre doing illegal shit right? Hmm, well I dont know how much Id put up with personally, I think Id eventually have enough and call the landlord than the police. You dont need people like that around you Tiay!

[vashti]

I am really worried about your safety. WTF was he doing in your room in the middle of the night? What if he won't take "no" for an answer next time? You'd better start carrying some pepper spray or something.

[Junket]

Carry one of these:



If switch blades are illegal there (they are in the US), then there are "spring assisted" blades which whip out almost as fast. They have even smaller ones if you wanna keep a lower profile.

EDIT: Also, never allow yourself or your buddies to be caught in a 2 vs. 1 situation.

Just the other night my girlfriend said somebody was knocking on her door and she doesn't know who they were. She didn't answer, but she could tell he was talking to somebody else. It makes me uncomfortable for her to be in situations like that, but even if she had a weapon, being outnumbered is baaaaad.

[misombra]

you could get a bb gun or something. whenever you find them near your bed, just pull that out from under your pillow and shoot him till he's running out the door. lol. bb gun won't hurt him that bad. enough to send him running. especially if it's night time and it looks like a real gun lol.

(disclaimer: misombra is not responsible for some college idiot rapester losing his eye from a bb gun.)

[Gribble]

Knives are one of the worst weapons for self-defense that you can get.

It can take upwards of fifty stabs to stop a person from attacking you. Plus knife wounds have a nasty habit of being ultimately fatal. I don't know what laws are like over in Ireland (or wherever you are, Tiay) but in most states in the US it's extremely difficult to prove that you were defending yourself with a knife.

If you absolutely must carry a weapon you'd be better off sticking a roll of quarters in an old sock than you would carrying a knife.

[Tiay]

aw, thanks guys

Somethings definitely going to have to happen. I'm not sure if i'm co-ordinated enough to carry a knife, fras.

I doubt that this would get seriously physical, but it is definitely creepy...

so, on a semi-off-topic note, Jensters thread made me want to take up some kind of martial art, so I looked up the nearest martial arts course; [url]http://www.bujinkanlillisdojo.com/[/url]
the only thing is that I'm not into donning the sword or the scythes and chains. What do you think?

edit: jeez, you guys are quick. I'm not so much worried about direct physical assault as I am about them trying to get me into one of their games. Ie, I pranked you, you get me back, I get you back.. which is fine for people who like that kinda stuff, but they don't seem to take no for an answer. I'll just try to ignore them, but it's hard when they're coming the house all the time and are at college, too.