Girlfriend keeps insisting that we're "friends"

[legin]

I've been going out for about six weeks with some girl I met from a job I had. We've gone out three times and are going to go out again this weekend.

We go to restaurants with low lighting, see films, and theres some physical contact, and the occassional awkward kiss. Our dates are also usually like 8 hours. And I pay for everything.

I believe that this means that we're in a relationship. But from the beginning, she has always refered to us as friends. And she called me her "mate" recently, which I wasnt fond of.

We live in London and I'm a white American and shes a black English girl. I'm 29 and I dont know how old she is. Early 20s, probably. She's never dated a white guy before, and I dont think she dates much in general.

So I think this is another factor. But anyway, can somebody confirm that the dates I was describing above constitute a relationship greater than just "friends"? I dont kiss my friends and pay for their meals, after all.

Also, I don't think that she's just taking pity on me because I've said before that if she doesnt want to go out, its not a big deal. And she would get really excited and insist that she wants to go out. And she asks me questions about if I plan on getting married one day, what sorts of things I look for in a girlfriend, etc. Date questions. Not friend questions. Also, she asks if I like her hair, if I would prefer that she wears her glasses, and other similar questions that suggest that she wants to appear attractive to me. And I do, of course, compliment her appearance.

So if anybody can give any insights, that would be great. She's a confusing one.

[Gigabitch]

She's confusing me, too. I'm afraid you're going to have that exclusivity talk with her. Until then, you're just assuming that you've got a girlfriend. You have to confirm this verbally.

Perhaps all of her "friends" this and "mate" that is an attempt to get you to say you feel that you're more than friends.

Speak up, why don't you?

[vashti]

She is not your girlfriend until you have asked for that sort of relationship and she has agreed.