does he like me?

[alidile]

so, this is maybe a question more for the guys but chicks too!

for those who don't know about my situation i'm currently shagging a friend. that's fine and well and all but i actually like this guy. however i don't want to ruin the friendship and weird him out so i planned on not mentioning it.

HOWEVER, last night we hung out watched some tv and what not drinking a bit then it turned into cuddling then to sex. after the sex he was all "we have really good chemistry" "i get on real well with you" "i really enjoy your company" and then we slept and spooned more whatever. fine maybe it was the alcohol but this is the thing.

this morning we are joking around what not and we go together on the bus and when we part ways he grabs me, hugs me, and kisses me in public. i don't know what would possess him to do that. and he's always poking me and tickling me in public and stuff.

could he like me or is he just getting a kick out of the conventions of a relationship because it's convenient while he's single still?

i really like him so PLEASE HELP!

[gHEXjt]

It sounds to me like he "likes" you or whatever. Would be in a relationship with you...Stop being a baby and open your ****in' mouth and talk to him about it. You'll be happier if it ends now than in several months when he cuts you out because he starts dating someone else. I'm not saying that will happen, but you'll feel awful if it does.

[Gigabitch]

I think you should tell him you're outgrowing the FWB arrangement. I think if you continue this farce for too much longer, you run the risk of getting your heart broken, and I don't want to see that happen to you.

[alidile]

i know on here i'm always told i'm a control freak, and perhaps i am but it's a definite defense mechanism...
so i'm waiting for a sure sign before i say anything.
trust me, if i thought it was safe i would've already.
i'm just more upset because i don't know if that's normal behaviour for a friend with benefits (which i don't think it is) in which case he must feel something?
is this normal?

[IndiReloaded]

I think you should tell him you're outgrowing the FWB arrangement. I think if you continue this farce for too much longer, you run the risk of getting your heart broken, and I don't want to see that happen to you.

I think I said this before also. Agree.

[Gigabitch]

i don't know if that's normal behaviour for a friend with benefits (which i don't think it is) in which case he must feel something?
is this normal?

I've never seen a rule book for FWB. Basically, I think it's a "set your own rules" kind of arrangement, so maybe smooching is part of it for him. It sounds like he just went with what felt right at the time.

Waiting for a sure thing sounds like holding your breath until you turn blue. That's not going to happen.

Take a risk.

[Mathias]

so, this is maybe a question more for the guys but chicks too!

for those who don't know about my situation i'm currently shagging a friend. that's fine and well and all but i actually like this guy. however i don't want to ruin the friendship and weird him out so i planned on not mentioning it.

HOWEVER, last night we hung out watched some tv and what not drinking a bit then it turned into cuddling then to sex. after the sex he was all "we have really good chemistry" "i get on real well with you" "i really enjoy your company" and then we slept and spooned more whatever. fine maybe it was the alcohol but this is the thing.

this morning we are joking around what not and we go together on the bus and when we part ways he grabs me, hugs me, and kisses me in public. i don't know what would possess him to do that. and he's always poking me and tickling me in public and stuff.

could he like me or is he just getting a kick out of the conventions of a relationship because it's convenient while he's single still?

i really like him so PLEASE HELP!

With my last FWB, I did all this...pretty much only after alcohol was involved, but she did it too.

To do FWB, you need to be on the same page. You guys clearly aren't. Fix that. Talk to him.

[alidile]

awkward.
the talking thing.
isn't there something i can do to get him to start talking first? i mean i'm cool with talking no problem!
it's i don't want to say anything first cos that means i tell him what i'm thinking before i know what he's thinking.
it doesn't work like that for me.

[Gigabitch]

Control freak.

You're trapped inside your own construct, ali! Look, if you refuse to be the person to bring things up, you lose control of where a conversation can go.

You can evolve into a Mastermind if you just learn the art of conversation, and that takes practice. That's much better than being a control freak.

[Mish]

I think you should tell him you're outgrowing the FWB arrangement. I think if you continue this farce for too much longer, you run the risk of getting your heart broken, and I don't want to see that happen to you.

+1

I'd hate to see you go through him finding someone else (Because he's still single).

If you find yourself developing feelings for him, you should move away from FWB and either into a relationship or apart. FWB only works when it's just a bit of fun, physical experience and nothing more.

[gHEXjt]

isn't there something i can do to get him to start talking first? i mean i'm cool with talking no problem!
it's i don't want to say anything first cos that means i tell him what i'm thinking before i know what he's thinking.
it doesn't work like that for me.

No, he's a guy, he won't bring this stuff up. It's about time you change the way it works for you and start this conversation. What's the problem? If he doesn't want to do you anymore, you can find someone else...You're a girl, you can take your pick.