Female Expert Analysis Needed!

[Gigabitch]

but NY is different, guys and girls both are wimps.. and people get startled and scared easily.. so maybe it was quite a shocker.. maybe she wants that "So I was kinda thinking, if you're not doing anything this weekend if you're free and you'd like to kinda sorta maybe go out for (insert innocent activity here)".. routine..

Eeeew. If I wanted a date like that, I'd be a lesbian.

[GrkScorp]

Signs point to "no."

obviously.. lol

the only thing that's come through my mind is her possibly waiting until friday, to tell me to meet up this Sunday..

because that would be a way to lock-out my schedule.. to make sure that I don't have people lined up for Saturday, because if she lets me know friday, it would be almost impossible to get something going with someone else for Saturday..

but I find that pretty insulting if that's the case.. only because.. i'm not the type of person which strives to have people "lined up".. I hope that's not the impression she has of me.. and I hope that's NOT what she's doing..

i'd rather just get a "no" at this point though.. I mean.. seriously.. what the hell is a grown woman worried about? huring my feeling?

[GrkScorp]

Eeeew. If I wanted a date like that, I'd be a lesbian.

I guess it marks the transition from being a girl.. to being a woman..

[Gigabitch]

i'd rather just get a "no" at this point though.. I mean.. seriously.. what the hell is a grown woman worried about? huring my feeling?

Oh, for God's sake, scorp, we worry about all kinds of stuff. I hope you don't think maturity comes with age or something, because let me tell you, I'm almost 40 and I'm still waiting.

[GrkScorp]

Oh, for God's sake, scorp, we worry about all kinds of stuff. I hope you don't think maturity comes with age or something, because let me tell you, I'm almost 40 and I'm still waiting.

lol.. hahaha.. no.. look.. obviously.. we all have that inner child.. that's normal..

but i'm positive you're a woman.. you don't live in la-la-land.. and you know how to interact socially and work your way a romantically/sexually tense situation..

18-20 year-old women.. THINK they know.. and it's cute.. but they're still learners and are largely clueless.. (relative to older guys).. relative to guys thier own age, they may feel they're on top of things.. but people should set HIGH standards for themselves.. not McDonald's standards..

2 days now.. lol.. signing on.. no reply..

i've honestly lost half of my interest at this point.. my image and perception of her at this point is of someone who is either clueless.. or just rude.. 2 days is overkill.. tomorrow morning.. she's getting a "change of plans" message..

when I wake up tomorrow.. I don't want to go anymore.. i'm taking back the offer.. maybe it was a mistake afterall.. maybe she's not the person I though she was..

[vashti]

Why don't you ask another girl out in the meantime? Why put all your eggs into one basket?

[GrkScorp]

Why don't you ask another girl out in the meantime? Why put all your eggs into one basket?

believe me.. i'd love to be able to work that way.. but that's not me.. unfortunately..

I wish I could cast this wide net.. and be able to just say yes to the 18,19,20 year-old backup.. but I simply can't

when i'm interested in someone.. that's exactly what happens.. it's someONE.. one person.. nobody else.. I can't think of anyone else.. it's total mental lockout..

so for the moment.. as frustrated as I am because of this situation.. and her trying to give me this hint (i'm logging into my account, i've read your message, but i'm not responding to it).. I can't get myself to think of anyone else..

I have to slowly destroy this image of her.. which is easy thanks to her feedback style.. and after i've convinced myself that i'm not interested in her anymore.. I can start looking with an open mind for someone else who will possibly strike my interest..

but until then.. actually.. no.. I can accelerate the process a little.. I can write back.. i don't know why i'm being an idiot and waiting for no reason.. since I know how she wants this to play out.. her little no response game.. fcuk that.. i'm writing back.. "well, I knew you were no swinger, but I didn't think you were the type of person to take more than 2-3 days to respond to a message either.. anyway.. i'm going to take my little cousins skating this weekend, they've been dying to go and their parents are too busy.. since you won't get to see me before eve.. happy new years.."

I think that's more than polite.. as polite as I can be at this point.. but let me know if there's anything in that message that's RUDE..

[vashti]

It sounds bitter. Why don't you try talking to her in person instead of sending another text? Maybe you can tell her you don't know if she got your message or not, but you wanted to ask her out this weekend.

And next time, don't ask a girl out via text message.

[GrkScorp]

It sounds bitter. Why don't you try talking to her in person instead of sending another text? Maybe you can tell her you don't know if she got your message or not, but you wanted to ask her out this weekend.

And next time, don't ask a girl out via text message.

Obviously she got it.. no question about it..

but funny you should say that.. since there's an other friend of mine on that site who I also sent a message to.. it showed up as "read" but when I asked him in person.. he said he didn't get it.. which leaves me in a tight spot.. because I don't want it to be the case that i'm sending a duplicate message to her if she actually DID get the message.. but then again.. it would be hilarious if this whole thing is some misunderstanding due to some technical computer error with sending/receiving the message..

ugh.. I agree with you.. in person is the best.. even over the phone.. but nothing beats in person.. but this is all I had to work with..

hmm.. fcuk.. now I can't ask her to do anything this weekend.. that's so unlike me.. I don't ask people on FRIDAY if they want to come with me on the WEEKEND.. that's so last minute...

[GrkScorp]

O.K. wow, today was one of those days where you could litterally feel your life change..

no no.. lol.. relax.. nothing happened.. but that's the good news.. lol

I was talking to my best friend (strait guy).. and he fed me the same advice I fed him 2 years ago..

"there's this one girl.. listen to yourself.. how can there be this (one) girl who you feel this for.. and she hasn't given you a clear indication of the same feeling? ok, on one hand she's being an idiot and doesn't know they quality of "guy" she's overlooking.. but on the other hand, you're being a bigger idiot by still feeling that way for someone who hasn't gotten back to you for 3 days?"

so i've officially says "no" to her.. almost like an on-off switch.. i've blown myself away.. lol.. I sent her the following message:

"must feel pretty clumsy on ice.. it's ok.. don't feel bad.. alot of people do.. ; )

well.. have fun on new years.. and good luck next semester..

later.. "

I feel it's more than civilized and polite.. also conveys that i've stopped and i'm not about to push things any further..

so to celebrate.. i'm going to 5 different bars, tonight.. and making 2-3 group of women in each bar feel good about themselves.. fat/old/ugly/b*tchy.. doesn't matter.. i'm not going to discriminate.. just going to scan the room and see who needs the biggest pat on the back.. and that's what i'm going to do..

[PUN-ish]

->anyway.. I would still very much like to know.. not if an older woman would be interested in me.. but why women are interested in older men..

for the 2 to flow at the same "stages" of their lives, women have to be younger then men. Women age faster than us. BUT, this is a generalization. Or perhaps it's cuz older men have a stable job etc and are able to afford a family vs a man their age who has just begun his career. Or maybe it's like the height thing, they feel more secure.

[vashti]

I sent her the following message:

"must feel pretty clumsy on ice.. it's ok.. don't feel bad.. alot of people do.. ; )

well.. have fun on new years.. and good luck next semester..

later.. "

That was a very classy way to back out. Better luck next time.

[GrkScorp]

That was a very classy way to back out. Better luck next time.

thanks.. it's much easier when you feel content from within.. if you're not bothered anymore.. none of that rage,anger,whatever exists.. so none of it is itching to come out and find its way onto the message..

so, i'm getting ready and leaving my house in a few minutes.. : )

but on a more happy note.. booking at trip down south after New Years.. for about a week

called her up last night.. talked until 1:20am for about 3-4 hours.. this is insane.. I haven't even met this person in real life.. but one of her dad's friend's daughter just passed away.. she was (18).. and her dad came back home.. all upset.. looked at her.. so we were talking.. and i'm explaining to her how human nature has two parts.. so part of what her dad was feeling was (helpful nature) so sympathy for what his friend was feeling and going through.. but he was also feeling (selfish nature) fear that this may also happen to him.. and she's still 19, so he came home and looked at her because he was thinking just that.. so I conveyed that very accurately and deeply.. so she starts crying on the phone.. feeling what her dad must feel like.. so i'm like.. "hey.. are you crying?".. she says "yeah".. i'm like "ok.. listen to me.. hang up the phone right now.. go to your dad, and give him a hug, tell him.. you love him.. and call me back whenever.. it doesn't matter"..

she did so.. after she called back.. wow.. it's very strange.. but for someone i've never even met in person.. I felt so emotionally bonded.. I mean.. if for nothing else.. I have to go down there to just relax and blow off some steem (yes, that's what I call it).. we'll see..

but thanks everyone for all the comforting words.. great advice.. and heartfelt support.. ; )