My girlfriend stopped having sex

[vashti]

Ahahahaha! I just noticed your post, Frasbee.. I wish I could give it thanks again!

PS - yes Grk, I offerred my advice in my first post on this thread. he should marry her or get the fcuk out and stop wasting her time.

[Junket]

Ahahahaha! I just noticed your post, Frasbee.. I wish I could give it thanks again!

...

You didn't even read my post all the way through??


...


Now I know how Scorp feels...

[anachronistic]

Grkscorp, I think that you would agree that this guy is lacking in the moral department. Even though it was HIM and not his girlfriend that was posting, you should still be aiming for what is morally right. No person in their right mind is going to agree that your vengeful advice is morally correct.

[vashti]

I read *your* post, Frasbee, but I didn't read the portion you quoted. Once was enough.

[GrkScorp]

Grkscorp, I think that you would agree that this guy is lacking in the moral department. Even though it was HIM and not his girlfriend that was posting, you should still be aiming for what is morally right. No person in their right mind is going to agree that your vengeful advice is morally correct.

When a convict is your client; he's asking for YOUR advice, for HIS best interest.. If you're going to sit down and give him advice, don't put morals in place, he's asking for YOUR advice, for HIS best interest, and that's what you have to have in mind.. (forget the innocent family he killed, forget what you know that can convict him, don't tell him to confess to being guilty if it's not in his best interest, that's how it goes)

This is the case with this poster.. it's HIS situation he's posting about.. and asking for YOUR advice, with HIS best interest in mind.. despite keeping his best interest in mind (which would be for him to just leave), I, aswell as other posters have considered the interest of the child.. call it morals or whatever else you want to name it, it's what's right.. and what's right is that he set the situation in place, like a man, not like a wimp.. and carry things on in a healthy relationship with the woman he loves, and his child.. end of story..

[anachronistic]

When a convict is your client; he's asking for YOUR advice, for HIS best interest.. If you're going to sit down and give him advice, don't put morals in place, he's asking for YOUR advice, for HIS best interest, and that's what you have to have in mind..

This is the case with this poster.. it's HIS situation he's posting about.. and asking for YOUR advice, with HIS best interest in mind.. despite keeping his best interest in mind (which would be for him to just leave), I, aswell as other posters have considered the interest of the child.. call it morals or whatever else you want to name it, it's what's right.. and what's right is that he set the situation in place, like a man, not like a wimp.. and carry things on in a healthy relationship with the woman he loves, and his child.. end of story..

We aren't necessarily lawyers, but more like the jury. Sometimes the judge.

Edit: even if you look at it as if you were his lawyer, just flat out compromising with his girlfriend seems like the most profitable answer. Seeking revenge is immature, it wastes time, and it's not right anyway.

[GrkScorp]

We aren't necessarily lawyers, but more like the jury. Sometimes the judge.

Edit: even if you look at it as if you were his lawyer, just flat out compromising with his girlfriend seems like the most profitable answer. Seeking revenge is immature, it wastes time, and it's not right anyway.

It's not revenge; it's a compromise..

She just showed him that she's of low value to resort to such tactics.. no guy would want to be with "that"..

So he should set her in place, let her feel that fear of loss, snap out of it and come back to her sense and start acting rational.. once that happens, a civil discussion stands a chance.. in which case they can talk things out like civilized people..

If he just bends over though, he's going to face the McGlaudry dilema, where the law-firm in the 80's wanted to settle every case to cut down on cost (they thought it would create a competative advantage), but it actually established a reputation! All other firms knew that these guys would settle, so they would bluff and get aggressive, perhaps OVER-stretch the grounds of their case, and McGlaudry just simply bend over in most situations (until they started losing clients and no longer exist). So this is NOT what he wants to encounter in the future. Otherwise, he's going to have to bend over everytime she bluffs or gets aggressive, and that's going to be the relationship.. kiss peaceful cilivized talking goodbye!

You can't get stuck in the short-term problem, no matter how huge.. this is marriage & family you're talking about.. so you have to think about the long-term!

[GrkScorp]

We aren't necessarily lawyers, but more like the jury. Sometimes the judge.

It's not about being a lawyer.. if someone asks you for your opinion on how to take the best course of action.. he's talking about HIS best interest in mind.. he/she doesn't want to hear (doesn't care to hear) what the moral consequenses are, what about the other party, etc.

If a firm hired a business consultant to give them advice on how much paper they should produce, and the consultant went off on what the moral implications would be for polluting the waters of the country, and how they should keep the people in mind, and how it's unethical reguardless of profits, etc.. they would go to a different consultant. (thankfully there are economic rewards/penalties in place to engourage/discourage such behavior when it comes to the environment, simply because economics/financials are all that matter to firms)

So firms, people, anything/anyone, have their own interest in mind, that's just the way things are.. so unless it's a vague political debate or a long philosophical discussion, just be concerned with one party's interest, (the party who asked you for advice)..

[Mish]

She just showed him that she's of low value to resort to such tactics.. no guy would want to be with "that"..

I don't think she's necesarily showed herself to be of low value. She has a child with this man and she wants stability for that child in the future. It was manipulative of her to do what she did, but maybe this was her last resort? Maybe she's already tried everything else and this is the only other way she can get some sort of stability for their kid. Like I said before, it may have been okay without children involved to do what ytou suggested, but in this circumstance maybe he should just stick with the program.

[GrkScorp]

maybe he should just stick with the program.

That's exactly what he'll be doing..

If I wanted him to leave, i'd tell him to leave (because it's easier to leave and find someone to have sex with, than to have to play these games just to have sex)..

But the long-term plan is to stick with the program (as you put it)

He has to knock her off her "thrown" of feeling like she's got him by the balls and she has sexual control over him.. once she feels/realizes "oh sh*t, I have no control over him".. then her fear will start to kick in.. she'll feel that fear of loss.. and she'll REALLY change her tactics into "submissive, last resort, begging"..

When this happens, he's going to put off the act, and instead of "taking advantage of her" in this state, he's going to be compassionate and civil.. and actually talk things over (now that BOTH of them are on that same, equal, civil level)

Why are they going to do this? To rationally & logically determine if they can function as a married couple with a child, if it's the right thing to do, and if not, how they should go about it in a civil way, and in a way that is best for the child.

That's the game-plan..

The rest are just the "means" to the "end".. don't get caught up looking at the "means".. it's an act he has to put on to get her to snap out of female-manipulative-antics mode.. all so he can get to the "end" (bad word, I don't mean the actual end, I just mean the "goal")..

[IndiReloaded]

YAWN..

anyway.. it's usually those with deep insecurities that feel the need to attack others to re-establish relative dominance.. At first I thought vash was the only one, because hers were quite apparent and fit a very common profile.. but what's YOUR story?

Tourettes. I have a tic that involves quashing those who can't seem to recognize when they have overstepped their experience and/or knowledge level. Its a cruel hobby of mine that usually passes when I get reminded about flies & laser cannons by someone more mature than I.

Seriously, tho GS, your attitudes can border on the offensive. Try to watch that IRL unless there's an actual percentage in expressing them. Otherwise you're in for some grief.

[vashti]

Seriously, tho GS, your attitudes can border on the offensive.

Very generously worded, indi!

[IndiReloaded]

Very generously worded, indi!

You should see me at my day job, lol. I'm positively silver-tongued.

[GrkScorp]

Tourettes. I have a tic that involves quashing those who can't seem to recognize when they have overstepped their experience and/or knowledge level. Its a cruel hobby of mine that usually passes when I get reminded about flies & laser cannons by someone more mature than I.

Seriously, tho GS, your attitudes can border on the offensive. Try to watch that IRL unless there's an actual percentage in expressing them. Otherwise you're in for some grief.

Sorry, I have a low tolerance for bull-sh*t.. so that just totally skipped over my head..

The poster was a male, so I would ask where did you get the impression that YOU were qualified to give advice to him in the first place? Since when were you a man? Since when have you been in a relationship with a woman who constantly plays manipulative games? I've seen more family/child situations and the long-term consequences in one semester than you'll ever in your entire life; so please, as much as it humors me to have you sit here and give emotional advice; there are serious long-term consequences to consider and not being to quick to over-look them.. (logic first, emotions second)

It's very cute that you think this is an issue where you can throw out the female-flag-of-maternal-glory and toot your own horn..

But get over yourself and snap back into reality.. Like I said, stop wasting your time & energy trying to bash me.. I could care less what you have to say.. try giving some sound advice to this guy, without throwing your own personal agenda into it.. this is a bit of a challenge, I know.. but give it your best.. I know you and Vash are not dumb.. (putting these previous hot-headed posts of yours aside)

Instead of grouping together and wasting your energy in forming a collective female-online-forum-political campaign against me on this issue (which is very flattering btw).. let it be a personal lesson to grow and better yourself as a person in removing and detatching yourself from any personal agenda and biases when advising people..

[vashti]

Grk, did you not notice that three males agreed with us? What is their agenda?