why do some girls date down

[vashti]

i mean what would her parents think, her close friends think-ah why you dating Jeff -he has no car, he has no education, he just works in a call centre. "i think you can do a lot better". i mean why would a decent univ educated, good paid job professional girl making 60k or up and more want to be with has a decent nice new car rsx, TL, and new want to date a guy who has community college schoooling for 1 year, making like what a entry level tech support would make approx 25k-30k or even less,

She probably thinks he has "potential".

[IndiReloaded]

my buddie had no car and he buses everywhere. he can get a car, but chooses not to since he like to keep his expenses down.he also doesn;t make a lot of money either, might go back to school so he doesn;t buy a car. and he had girls make a big deal as to why he has no car, and when he was goin to get a car. he buses out to her area and location to hang out with her(40 min bus ride). we live in vancouver and transit is pretty good.

I know at least two professors who don't have cars, lol. They are very environmentally conscious and take public transit. So? Those girls are just shallow.

Why don't you ASK her why she would date 'a guy like that'. It probably has to do w/some of the things GrkScp mentioned. I mean, she HAS money right? So maybe she doesn't care so much about a partner with it. A lot of men think this way... why should women be any different?

[brianbtn]

I think your answer is right there..

My first ex-gf cheated on me with an abusive pothead guy; no hostilities, but the reason simply was; the guy was alot more fun.. yeah sure, she got humiliating slaps in the face and the head once in a while, and he wasn't doing anything with his life.. but don't think that logic is going to save you..

Women who use LOGIC for dating, are usually gold-diggers.. if you think she's going to pick the doctor, lawyer, accountant, and big-shot over the other guys (all else constant), just because of occupation; she would be using a very specific logic.. so, highly unlikely that this would cause ATTRACTION.. (aka. make her want to date guys like this)

Truth of the matter, I don't know what impression you have of women, but women don't look at occupational groups in terms of grouping men.. That's like saying "Doctors & Accountants are sexy & hot"? Don't attack this back with "it's not the same".. because it's exactly the same..

Instead, women want entertainment, and fun, (something money can usually provide), but money is actually a bonus, the most fun i've had with women has been for free (no, don't get nasty, I mean just walks, sitting down, talking, stories, jokes, games, over at her place/my place, etc).. you have to destroy/delete/erase this notion that she SHOULD be going after more successful men up in the social latter.. instead, try and think of what SHE wants, what she REALLY wants.. which is in part a physically attractive guy, but also (this one is important) a guy who she shares a deep emotional connection with.. sex is an emotional experience, so when having sex, she wants to feel that the person she's doing it with has been someone who she's shared great moments with, (including FUN moments with), and not just someone who will be a good provider..

Please think about female sex rationalizations.. the rationalization you should be aiming for is "this guy is so much fun, plus he's hot, and it just feels like the right thing to do".. you should NOT be hoping for the "ehh, I guess he's been providing well for the past three months, I guess it's time to give it up considering my other options".. The latter will never get attractive women attracted to you (which is the mistake doctors, lawyers, accountants, etc make when they feel that if they flaunt their major/profession, they will get quality women).. Instead.. it's your actual QUALITIES that will get (whoever HER is) attracted to you, REGUARDLESS of your occupation..

Think about it for a second.. these women are clearly not dumb.. they know very well the implications of some of the bad habits these guys have.. BUT! They're clearly overlooking them, WHY? Because there's something so much greater that these guys are offering her.. (fun, entertainment, excitement, adventure, etc).. Not to say that doctors, lawyers, accountants are boring people.. but chances are, their education has sucked the fun out of them.. so they just need to make effort to give (her) what these other guys can give her more naturally and effortlessly..

Money & Looks won't get you women.. i'm not the best living proof of this.. but trust me on this one, i've seen it happen plenty.. QUALITIES will get you the woman you want (unless she has a specific logic goal "money, green card, etc").. so be able to offer her fun, excitement, adventure, basically a great time.. if she wants to be with you because she has a great time (and you don't fall into the friend zone).. you're doing great..

GRK,
YOU ARE RIGHT! Attraction for women works differently for men... Women look at PERSONALITY first then looks... Men look at looks first then personality... I tell you from experience... you can be the richest, nicest, best looking guy in the world but if you dont have what a women feels attracted to then forget it. and for you NICE guys out there like i once was.... Women arent ATTRACTED to "NICE GUYS"!! They WANT "NICE GUYS" but arent ATTRACTED to them!!! Notice I said "WANT"! I dont care what they say! now i dont mean you cant be nice and that women want abusive men im just saying PERSONALITY plays a major part in ATTRACTION. Women dont want a WUSSY NEEDY guy! It took me YEARS to figure this out!!! I was the guy that would always fall into the "FRIEND" zone with women. but anyways this is just my two cents!

[fCukl0vee]

alrite man we get the point that u dnt like potheads. u repeated pothead like 20 times.
it depends on the person not the status. are u saying a rich doctor that starts to smoke weed etc will attract woman? or vice versa if that cool pothead, which gets all the chicks becomes a heart surgeon would make them less desirable?
btw did ur wife go cheat on u with some lower socio-economic pothead or something? just curious

[vashti]

fcuklovee - you sound defensive. Are you a pothead?

[wxyz00]

there are several type of guys one dates depending in which phase of life they are in.... girls date down probably because they are in a phase of life where they are not looking to get married or settle down and so they consciously or subconsciously choose to date guys they probably will not marry and have a 100% chance of breaking up when the need be. So the only criteria that remains to be checked is FUN, which by the way most professionals are not..... lol Although really depends on one's definition of fun.

[Mathias]

So the only criteria that remains to be checked is FUN, which by the way most professionals are not..... lol

Excuse me?

[v0ndutch]

I don't think it matters what the guy does. if you like the guy for who he is, then it doesn't matter if he sits home all day or if he's minting millions. you have to like the person first, then if he has bad habits or a great job, those are just like bonuses or rough edges. I don't think anyone would just fall in love with someone because of what they do, or would really like them that much less because of them smoking pot. doing crack is a little different, but pot isn't that bad.

[vashti]

I wouldn't date a pot head. I also wouldn't date a guy who sat home all day. I would find both to be lacking ambition, and that is a character flaw I wouldn't tolerate.

[TheSphinx]

If a man possesses characteristics that a woman desires at the time, I can't see how this would be considered dating "down" for the woman.

~Sphinx

[wxyz00]

@Mathias granted its a huge generalization but I tried to rectify it with the "depends on your definition of fun"... certain ages/careers modify our concept of fun from what it is when we're young.... not that that's a bad thing.... but its still more "responsible fun"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

May be Sphinx is right... "dating down" probably isn't politically the correct term. I don't think the question implies specifically pot-heads or dopes... most people i'm sure can think of at least one person they dated when their friends and families went WHY??? whatever the reason may be curiosity, experiment, desperation, actual liking.... somewhere in the back of one's mind they know.... he/she is NOT the one but they stay till it lasts...or the fun lasts...

[fCukl0vee]

fcuklovee - you sound defensive. Are you a pothead?

haha nope im one of them doctors

[GrkScorp]

haha nope im one of them doctors

Yeah.. and i'm one of them lawyers & accountants.. but it doesn't mean anything..

"What" you do, is NOT "who" you are..

The tragedy with a lot of lawyers and accountants, and I would also guess doctors, is that they hide behind their careers..

I've seen this happen with my friends.. we go out, I bring over a group of girls to merge with our group.. I introduce them.. and none of the guys can hold themselves back.. it's like this powerful urge.. like the nerd at science class in the 5th grade that absolutely MUST raise his hand for the 10th time to answer the teacher's question..

"I'm in my second year at Columbia Law"
"Yeah, it's one of the best in the country, Top 5"
"I'm studying Torts, but specifically Mass Torts Litigation, now let me go deep into that while you all pretend to care, and I won't take notice because i'm so vain.. blah blah blah"

I've told them a zillion times to cut this crap out.. but they continue to do it, and it comes off as insecure, sleezy, and quite honestly "try-hard".. It almost sounds like they're full of themselves and flaunting their school, their success in their classes, what firms have already made them offers, and by the end of the night.. they end up either getting ZERO numbers if they're lucky, or STALE numbers (which will give them false hope, because they've bored the girls so much, that these women won't even want to see these guys again in their funeral)

I don't know what the specific issue is, but leave your profession out of your character.. if you MUST mention it.. don't OFFER to mention it.. only mention it if she asks.. and when you do, keep it short.. (i'm a doctor/medical student).. PERIOD! again, only if she asks you, tell her were, what year, etc.. but don't go bleeding information.. it's not getting you points (positive points anyway).. here's why..

I meet aspiring dreamers all the time, great girls, with big dreams, but so far, they have nothing to show for it.. when I down-play what i'm doing with my life, they actually feel safe & secure.. they don't feel intimidated.. they don't feel the feeling that i'm too good for them.. they don't ask themselves (why would someone like him want to be with someone like me?).. more often than you'd like to think, you can send beautiful women running for the hills trying to save what's left of their ego.. you don't even have to do much, women are very self-critical and hard on themselves..

Secondly, nobody likes to talk about work.. don't remind her of how much of a failure she is compared to you.. talk about something else.. people like to feel good about themselves, especially women.. so if she feels good about herself in your company; half of your work is done.. you actually have an advantage over loser guys (if you down-play your success).. because you give her the benefit of feeling comfortable around you without being intimidated, AND the benefit of being next to a high-value, successful guy like you.. (you don't have to advertise it! she's a smart girl, she knows; and if she doesn't, she doesn't need you spelling it out for her, she'll slowly figure it out)

As for the pro-pot-head comment.. pot is still a drug, and yes, it has very serious character/personality/work-ethic implications..

[vashti]

Secondly, nobody likes to talk about work.. don't remind her of how much of a failure she is compared to you..

I am pretty sure that guy was joking about being a doctor.

Anyway, I disagree that no one likes to talk about work. People love to talk about work, and depending entirely on how interesting your profession is, people won't mind listening, either. The most attractive quality I found in my husband when I agreed to date him was how much he clearly enjoyed his work. Of course, he has a genuinely interesting profession - much more so than a lawyer.

Also, I recommend against assuming that no matter what your career is, you MUST be more successful than the woman you are trying to talk to. That is rather arrogant, and besides, we all know the world hates lawyers.

[dsadsa]

LMAO
dude
to joey(the guy who made this thread)
YOUR POST IS SO FILLED WITH BULLSHIT
you keep repeating your point OVEER AND OVEEEER AGAIN
THE EXACT SAME SHIT YOU SAID A SENTENCE BEFORE
I MEAN YOU DON"T STOP TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOUR TRYING TO SAY
ITS LIKE YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN IT TO A POINT SO WE MIGHT ALL FEEL OR UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOUR JUST OVER DOING IT
YOU KEEP ON SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING EXCEPT CERTAIN THINGS ARE A LIL DIFFERENT
YOU JUST CHANGE YOUR SENTENCE A LIL BUT THEY ALL MEAN THE...........
see that's what your doing
you got to us through your first sentence so stop with the explaining
well one thing i know is that you seem bitter as if your girlfriend dumped you for a loser, or a girl you trying to pick up on was already taken by a drug dealer.
well one thing that YOU don't know is you've never seen them when they are alone at home talking to each other and having special connections with one another. (and if you did know this than your a stalker and ****ing creepy)
I mean just because your a HS dropout doesn't mean you have no heart and your lower than everyone else.
If the girl isn't a gold digger and she doesn't go out with people for their profession you can never know who she'll go out with.
maybe the HS dropout is ambitious in other ways that you can't see cause your too blinded in simply just the status of the man than his integrity.
From what i've learned about girls is that, even though guys that are doctors or have high paying jobs are "hot" it doesn't mean that they only want those types of guys, Girls like ambition IMO from what i've learned.