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Thread: the past

  1. #1
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    the past

    Hi all,

    i have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now and she assures me she loves me and i love her and i dont doubt how she feels. I try not to think about things that have happend in the past but because i am curious by nature things that i get told tend to stay in my mind forever.

    She tends to tell me bits and pieces about her ex's alot, is this a thing that girls do in general?

    Her most recent ex while i was at her house yesterday i saw her looking at his myspace yesterday which is nothing but yet again it makes me curious.

    Then this morning i didnt realise i was sitting on her phone and she got a message from one asking if they could catch up tonight, me being that absoule idiot that i am deleted the message, not really out of anger but it was just a reaction.

    I know ppl will tell me to just get over it but does anyone have any advice to actually GET OVER IT?

    call me insecure, perhaps even jelous, but i really do love her i and i want to be with her and be able to discuss her ex's without becomming curious and wanting to know more and have it effect out relationship

    thanks
    Last edited by baz_34; 18-01-08 at 06:38 PM.

  2. #2
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    she assures me she loves me and i love her and i dont doubt how she feels.
    If this is how you really feel, then an ex should be of little to no importance.

    ~Sphinx

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    Quote Originally Posted by jacabharrdy123 View Post
    Hey dear,
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    Good luck!
    Somebody stop this crap.
    Last edited by Gigabitch; 21-01-08 at 07:27 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by baz_34 View Post
    Hi all,

    i have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now and she assures me she loves me and i love her and i dont doubt how she feels. I try not to think about things that have happend in the past but because i am curious by nature things that i get told tend to stay in my mind forever.

    She tends to tell me bits and pieces about her ex's alot, is this a thing that girls do in general?

    Her most recent ex while i was at her house yesterday i saw her looking at his myspace yesterday which is nothing but yet again it makes me curious.

    Then this morning i didnt realise i was sitting on her phone and she got a message from one asking if they could catch up tonight, me being that absoule idiot that i am deleted the message, not really out of anger but it was just a reaction.

    I know ppl will tell me to just get over it but does anyone have any advice to actually GET OVER IT?

    call me insecure, perhaps even jelous, but i really do love her i and i want to be with her and be able to discuss her ex's without becomming curious and wanting to know more and have it effect out relationship

    thanks
    What makes you think this is a "you" problem? It sounds to me like she *may* be lacking some ordinary boundaries. Does she make a habit out of getting together with her ex BFs?

    I don't know if she is trustworthy or not, but sometimes people overlook "warning signs" because they don't trust their own instincts. I can tell you for sure that if I were in love with a new guy, I wouldn't be having my ex boyfriends calling my phone, because I would be worried it might make him (new BF) feel insecure.

    BTW - you should tell her you are bored hearing about her ex boyfriends, and tell her you don't want to hear about them anymore.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  5. #5
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    well i had a bit of a d and m with my friend and he suggested that her talking to me about her ex's is a sign that she trusts me and is comfortable telling me these things?

    i have been tempted to ask her to just not mentioned it anymore because she has only asked me once how many girlfriends i have had and that was it, nothing more asked and i never brought them up again.

    MY MAIN FEAR is that she told me from an early stage in the piece is that she has a fear of relationships and has a tendency to run when she feels she is getting too attached because she doesnt want to get hurt, so when i herd that i sort of back away from asking anything too personal and just came to the assumption that she had been hurt in the past.

    Then to top that off she tells me she has never loved anyone and she use to make this very clear but im the first she has every really loved which pretty much stopped me from worrying and she has voiced this to ppl so i dont doubt that she is telling the truth and on new years which i spent with her she send me a sms saying "i have never loved before but i love you so much", but yeah i suppose its all these little things to contribute to my curiosity and ultimately insecurity because even though we are together i dont know if she will still run or not or if she is still hung up on a ex or even sees them anymore!
    Last edited by baz_34; 19-01-08 at 07:03 AM.

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    This has nothing to do with a past, more with the present. Your insecurity that she might still do something.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathias View Post
    Somebody stop this crap.
    Report this stuff so we find it faster.

    Those spammers are starting to piss me off.
    Spammer Spanker

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