Polar Opposite After 1 Talk What Has Happened

[LadyVenom]

I started a new job, and was introduced to a co-worker [yes, but just listen] We hit it off right away, and instantly went for a date. We hit it off right away, and from that moment forward it was as if we were a couple. The only thing we discussed was that we both wanted to keep it on the low from others at work, which is understandable. It was great. We saw eachother everysecond day basicly, he called me everyday too make plans or too see how my day had gone and tell me about his day and just to talk. He always wanted to talk to me or spend time with me. It did get physical fast, BUT we did not sleep together all the time, he just really enjoyed being with me which i found great obviosly.

We pretty much acted like a couple, talked everyday, we went out very often, wheather it be shopping, drives/walks, watching a movie, talking , going places or just chilling in together, i had even met his cousins, which i thought was kool. BUT with that being said he referred to me as his friend, which as u can guessed kinda struck a nerve.. and at work he would flirt i guess u can say and be very diff with everyone [mind u a lot of ppl we woork with are older] but he didn't act like that with me at all, if anything it seemed like he wasnt intrested in at all, when reallly i was the one he was intrested in, so that struck a nerve too, why be like that with everyone else but the person u are seeing.

He went away for 3 weeks to see family over the holidays and he called me all the time [so did i too] to ask me how it's going, jsut to talk and tell me how it's going and everything it really showed he cared. When he got back, things were still fine, we seemed like a couple [except for at work =P] but he still referred to me as his friend, and this bf gf situation was not discussed and i was ready to freak out, the way he would act at work and call me his friend to his friends and ppl outside of work was getting to me, So one day at work he could tell i was aggitated and he said he thought he knew what it was, he was right and i told him aswell we have not established what we are. he told me he loved being around me, and talking to me and spending time with me, but he thinks we did to much way to fast, esp when it came to sex. and he thought thats what screwed everything up, he said he was thinking about it and was confused too but didn't know how to bring it up. He suggested we take out the sex and just go from there and kind of start things over and do things properly/slower. which to me sounded ass backwards but ok.

Since then things have been different and awkward esp at work, ive seen him ONCE we went shopping thats it, he doesnt ask me out and he doesnt call, it's just total polar oppisties out of NOWHERE. Ive since got extreamly pissed off [for damn good reason] and have no longer spent my breaks with him, i leave and do what i gotta do, i have distance myself from him [hes noticed] and don't flirt like i have before, I just act like a coworker. He always asks me what im doing that night but doesnt ask me out, even if i say nothing [dont keep asking me unless ur gunna ask me out buddy] its as if he doesnt know what the hell to do. He flirts it up and is gret to everyone but doesnt act like that with me still, which like i said why be like that only with the person u like, hes got it all assbackwards. Yesterday he didnt seem all that happy but SURPRISINGLY offered to drive me home that night, I figured it must have been about me..in the car i told him i noticed he wasnt happy and he wne on venting about missing his family and stuff but nothing about me or the situation..greaaaaaaaat *rollz eyes*

Today he was helping me out constantly but i dunno if he was just doing it to help, i went for my break what he did on his i dunno, a male friend came into look for me and he didn't seem to happy, and he kept just staring at me like he was thinking but didnt know what to do. He knew tonight i was going to have a drink with my best friend[female] and musted have stated FIVE TIMES with 1 min time frame [have fun!] hes dumb but not that dumb he knows ive distanced and clearly i kant be thrilled with this bizzare sudden behaviour but buddy it's ur own fault, why has he all of sudden started acting like this when he was sooooooooooooo diff just before Its just so frustrating at work, i just don't know what to do anymore, is there sumthing im missing, did i do sumthing? or is he just clueless what is he thinking, i need all the help i can get with this

THANK YOU to everyone who comments , sorry for the essay of a post

[TheSphinx]

why has he all of sudden started acting like this when he was sooooooooooooo diff just before

It sounds as if he just isn't in to you anymore.

Try dating some men outside of work. It might take some time and effort, but it will save you both compared to waiting for this guy to clearly state his feelings for you.

And if for some reason, he does still harbor some attraction for you, he will probably let you know quickly once he has seen that you've moved on.

~Sphinx

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I know this is going to sound so old fashioned, but I have to say it:

Don't have sex with someone you're not in a relationship with. If he's calling you his "friend", you're going to get the short end of the stick.

I've seen this happen again and again, in real life and on this forum. Basically, you agreed to do the Friends With Benefits thing, and that doesn't work for girls.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope you never let it happen again.