Something to share with you (long)

[92135011]

This is my first post, so I thought I would share a little bit about myself with the rest of you. I'm 25 this year. This story starts when I was 19. She was 18 at that time. She wanted to become a nurse and I a medical doctor. Upon graduation from high school, she hadn't quite attained the marks to enter nursing at the same university I was attending. I was studying sciences and did all in my power to help her achieve. In her quest to improve her marks, I gave her emotional support and tutoring. She always thought I was smart and admired me very much in that way. By the beginning of the next school year, she had started nursing. So very proud I was to see her achieve her goals. I also had a sense of being at least partly responsible for helping her achieve her goals. Skipping a lot of events that were in between, we now look at 2007. She is a new graduate of nursing, now working in the hospital and I am now a med student, studying away from home. She is 24 in october of this year and realizes that her prime is now. Nurses from her graduating class are almost all engaged or married now and I can see she is itching to get married soon as well. As I am still studying, plus years of residency after graduation, she would need to wait a while before I would be ready to ask. Plus, she is certainly quite lonely without me being by her side. Likewise, I suffer the same. Thus, she told me that she needs to think about our relationship. There is also uncertainty in her mind about the possibility that I may not come back for her.

We have had lots of good times together and I still love her dearly. She knows this, but in some turn of events, perhaps because of the length of the relationship, she currently does not feel the exact same way as me. The flame has left and has only left her with a feeling of deep caring, but not that of passion. And when the passion leaves, then the thinking comes. Reasons why I might not be a good mate.

She has expressed negative things about me, which although true, are only a product of my personality. I enjoy personal time more than group time - then again I know of many men who enjoy spending time with their counterparts alone, rather than in groups. She likes the groups. She has also expressed my negativity and cynicism towards life. Admittedly, my childhood could be the underlying cause, but I am struggling slowly to work that out. I only recently took the opportunity to forgive mom, something I have not been able to do for years. In any event, as you can see, I can probably find defense for every claim that she makes. Point is that she now raises these issues.

I have now prepared for the worst and may need to accept that she will find another. The hardest part is that she has been part of the reason I have been able to maintain a state of sanity in this new place. Being away from surround one with many people, but always leaves a person alone. I will know soon enough if she finally tells me that it is the end of the line.

I bought her a diamond pendant with necklace that I saved a long time for that I was going to give her when I returned from school June, 2008. At the time of the purchase, I said to myself that I would spend money on one nice thing for myself. Instead, I spent it on her because I knew that would be a present for myself. But now, it seems that it might have to stay in the jewellery box for a long time to come.

I am still hopeful, but I thought I would share this with everyone here. Hope you found this a worthwhile read

[sakura102789]

"We have had lots of good times together and I still love her dearly. She knows this, but in some turn of events, perhaps because of the length of the relationship, she currently does not feel the exact same way as me. The flame has left and has only left her with a feeling of deep caring, but not that of passion. And when the passion leaves, then the thinking comes. Reasons why I might not be a good mate."


you know what i remember a situation like this. my bf is still waitng for me but i founded a new one right now. i cant tell him because i know he would be hurt. i dont know oif this right but i think if you feel that your relation is going to end with nothing i guess it is better to give up now. so pain would be lesser than it should be. you know what it is so hard to tell man you had once love that the passion is over....i am feeling it right now. im holding the relation because im pity with him and i know it is wrong.but i am afraid to hurt him too. im just waiting for him to end it up..maybe the girl is just waiting too... who would do the first move but if you cant do it then wait her to say that it is over but prepare your self....as i see your relationship would no go far as you are thinking it could end up soon

im sorry to tell you but i just really understand what you are feeling cause i can see my bf waiting for me now i know his reaction on our sitution right now.

[Gigabitch]

People who really love each other learn to live with all kinds of differences, like the fact that one is more extroverted than the other. She's supplied you with a laundry list of your faults, but they're really her way of explaining to you and to herself that she doesn't really love you like she feels she ought to.

Understand that this is just my take on the situation and it doesn't mean doom and destruction upon your relationship, but IMO, if she actually wanted you, she'd be looking for reasons to be with you, not reasons to leave you.

Maybe all she needs is a foray out into the real world, where her fantasy about a guy exactly like herself that wants to get married next week and will be every bit as supportive as you've been but twice as exciting can be thoroughly explored. I have no doubt you'll be hearing an apology at some point in the future from her about taking you for granted.

Maybe it's for the best. It doesn't sound to me like she's cut out to be a doctor's wife.

[ElChombo]

Understand that this is just my take on the situation and it doesn't mean doom and destruction upon your relationship, but IMO, if she actually wanted you, she'd be looking for reasons to be with you, not reasons to leave you.

Very true. I'm sorry man.

[MadKat]

Sniff...I can feel your pain.
Be prepare man...

[lastwish]

Let her think about the relationship then. You sound like a very dedicated guy. Continue to be whoever you are. Don`t let this affect your study too much. Just go with whatever life leads you to.